WTF

Eggos. WTF, America?


Went out for butter and eggs (one package of each). All of the normal dry pasta and noodles were gone (organic, vegan, gluten-free, and instant options were in plentiful supply). Naturally, this meant that all the spaghetti sauce and half of the canned tomatoes were gone, too. And since yesterday, there was a big run on Campbells Chunky soups, but nobody was buying Progresso.

But they also cleaned out the large tubs of yogurt, normal/large eggs (I had to buy extra-large), and frozen vegetables.

And the frozen waffles. Eggo brand only, not the store brand or any of the “specialty” (fad-diet) stuff.

Surrounded by overstuffed shopping carts, I did what any sensible man would do: bought two boxes of frozen pizzas and two six-packs of Diet Pepsi. Because they were both on 2 for $X deals.

Update

Forgot to mention it earlier, but there was only one person in the store wearing a mask. Unfortunately it was a hardware-store mask that’s only good for sawdust, and since she hadn’t pinched the nosepiece, it wouldn’t have even blocked that.

Prepper cosplay


Ten days ago, panic-buying hadn’t reached my neighborhood; the only things out of stock were hand sanitizer and masks (most of which weren’t the antiviral kind). Last night, both CVS and Safeway had empty shelves where the bottled water and toilet paper would be, and half-empty shelves of rice and beans.

But everything else was still in stock. Propane, candles, coffee, canned foods, kleenex (even the “anti-viral” kind), tampons, cereal, beer, bandaids, vitamins, aspirin, cold medicine, soap, bleach, cough drops, etc, etc.

Um, if all you’re buying is water, toilet paper, and rice, you’re preparing for a very peculiar apocalypse. What, you’re gonna sit on the porch in the dark boiling bottled water over a toilet-paper stove to cook your rice as the zombies roam the neighborhood looking for brains? Relax, you’ve just proven that you’re safe from them.

Vaguely related, don’t ask me to explain how a search for “propane” on Amazon returned Black Scorpion: The Series on Prime Video…

His Master’s Voice…


Hillary Clinton is launching her own podcast. I figure the opening theme will involve fingernails on a chalkboard.

Or they could use this little ditty, to the tune of Camptown Races:

🎶🎶🎶🎶
Epstein didn’t kill himself,
    doo-dah, doo-dah.
His death wasn’t suicide,
    it was a Clinton hit.
🎶🎶🎶🎶

Dear ‘CAEZIK SF & Fantasy’…


I invite you to speculate on precisely where I think you should shove your ebook pricing model for the upcoming posthumous Heinlein novel:

I was planning to buy it, but now I dislike you and want your company to fail.

“If I run him over, I’ll let you know…”


I was driving down the highway this afternoon at “slightly less than 20 MPH above the speed limit”, when my phone suddenly blasted a siren sound through my car speakers, and my navigation software was covered with this bullshit:

Everything about this is stupid, including the fact that you can’t click on the link. Y’know, if you were actually concerned about scouting for a possibly-senile senior, and weren’t more worried about driving into a ditch from the shock of having a siren blast in your ears at 85 miles/hour.

Off to googlebing “how to disable silver alert”, and sites claim that the one category of “emergency” alert that somehow turned itself back on can be turned back off. Wonder how long until Apple “helpfully” fixes that for me again…

Worst. Fund-raiser. Ever.


Apparently, the reason it took the House so long to turn in their homework was that they were waiting for Nancy Pelosi’s souvenir pens to arrive. Must have ordered them from China and refused to pay for express shipping.

Now I really want Trump to get re-elected, so these dumpster-dining bumblefucks can use their Historical Collectibles to slash their wrists.

Note to people eager to bid on the inevitable auctions for these silly things: across is for attention, down is for death.

Arrest Driver, Impound Vehicle


Another day, another idiot Tesla driver:

The driver of the Tesla told police his car’s Autopilot feature had been activated and he was not facing forward – he was checking on his dog in the back seat, according to the state police’s Facebook post.

This assclown hit a parked police cruiser that had its hazard lights on.

(classical reference)

Dear Amazon,


“🎶 One of these books is not like the others, one of these books really does belong. Can you tell which book is not like the others, before I finish my song. 🎶”

Clicking on the tile reveals several “Catholic Action Horror” novels, Simak’s Project Pope, Stasheff’s Wizard novels, Neil Boyd’s Bless Me Father novels, pretty much every novel by Andrew M. Greeley (no relation), and books on embroidery, aikido, ninjutsu, play therapy, and a Martha Stewart how-to manual. Oh, and some books on religion, evenly divided between Catholic and non-Christian.

“Need a clue, take a clue,
 got a clue, leave a clue”