R.I.P. Wonderduck

Well, shit.

Bad spam, no sex toy!

Someone manually posted a spam comment in the wee hours Friday morning. It didn’t accomplish anything, of course, since the comments here don’t get indexed by search engines, and I was able to delete it with a single click when I received the email notification. It was at least thematically appropriate, hawking toys-for-boys on one of my recent cheesecake posts. This is a refreshing change from my email spam, which is almost entirely in Arabic these days.

(fully-operational toys for boys are unrelated)

Speaking of unrelated,

Only one more week to get a $50-$100 rebate on new Smith & Wesson firearms. If you’re near a RangeUSA franchise, they’re doubling the savings with their own gift card through the 27th. Be sure to pick up something in the M&P line, so that you know you’re getting a certified weapon of war (according to an ignorant tool in the Illinois legislature).

(rebate is in the form of a visa gift card, which takes 8-10 weeks to arrive; offer does not apply to Thorn Princess models)

Farm Harem episode 12 (fin)

In which They Never Went There. Ru has her baby, everyone celebrates, and despite all the hints (and the clear thrust of the source material), none of the other haremettes starts working on baby-making (modulo one ambitious but underaged wolf girl who tries to tap into the new village currency). It’s just a feel-good wrap-up to the series, with no hooks for another season.

Verdict: too many panned stills, but the vast oddly-platonic harem was certainly easy on the eyes.

Twin Peaks episode 12 (fin)

The resolution to the big fight was unnecessarily melodramatic, but it ended on the slow-life side, with the family intact. Where Lady Hero Lady’s Tank Girl found a new top in the middle of battle, I have no idea, but it meant that fan-service was muted until the reunion at the end, when Our Mighty Mama welcomed Her Heroic Hubby home with a titty rub and a cracked spine.

Verdict: I’d have been happier if it had stayed entirely on the slow-life side of the line, but at least all the flashy conflicts were resolved by Dariel being A Good Man.

(fan-artists never really embraced this show, so here’s the Actual Best Girl from Immoral Guild and her pre-teen daughter)

…and I’m all out of anime until April 5th, when I’ll give Megumin and Yunyun a chance.

Tomorrow we’ll discuss water policy…

1. Stop building power plants, for decades.
2. Don’t maintain the grid, for decades.
3. Mandate electric cars, Real Soon Now.
4. Ban gas furnaces and water heaters, Even Sooner.
5. “Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior”

Burying the lead lede

I happened to be perusing the manual for North American Arms’ popular 22-caliber mini-revolvers, and found the following statement:

Any .22 caliber Winchester Magnum RimFire (WMR) ammunition can be used in this Magnum mini-revolver – EXCEPT “PMC” & “ARMSCOR PRECISION” BRANDED .22 CALIBER AMMUNITION (Magnum and/or LR), WHICH HAS RESULTED IN OUT-OF-BATTERY DISCHARGES. WARNING! DO NOT USE ANY “PMC” or “ARMSCOR PRECISION” BRANDED AMMUNITION IN ANY NAA® Mini-Revolver!

That’s a surprisingly direct statement about the quality control of two well-known ammunition companies. As a general rule, red ink in product manuals is the direct result of a lawsuit, but to include one that could itself cause a lawsuit suggests that they’ve documented some serious problems.

(they also tell you to avoid using ammunition labeled as “varmint”, warning that it’s usually loaded hot and designed for rifles, but it’s not clear if they mean that varmint ammo exceeds SAAMI specs and is effectively +P)

Carnival Row season 2, fin

TL/DR: they threw the kitchen sink into a blender. For one brief shining moment they rose above the muck and stated quite clearly that socialism is built on equal parts tyranny and murder, but then they remembered that the show was set in a city-state run by racist colonizers, and the only thing that makes them better than socialists is that they’re more into strained allegory than mass slaughter.

The one thing that surprised me is that throughout both seasons, they managed to not call anyone a “filthy son of a critch”, even though Our Half-Blood PrinceInspector literally is one (seriously, they spend a lot of time covering Orlando Bloom with mud and blood). Speaking of which, I don’t think they ever explained how “critch” came to be the catchall term for all the races of the fae and anyone who had (coughcough) “one drop of blood”.

(picture is unrelated, but hey, how often do we get something new from Sukabu)?

Farm Harem episode 11

A Day In The Life With A Pregnant Wife. You know what this means, don’t you? Monologing! Our Hero literally walks us through his routine from waking to sleeping, with random village encounters and lots of panned stills of the cheesecake. Surprisingly, it’s implied that they’re not all taking turns riding the divine tool to put buns in ovens. Disappointing, that.

Verdict: really slow-playing the birds and bees, still; it’s like they’re pretending only Ru and Tia are getting any action, and Our Power-Tool Hero spends most nights alone. This is not the way the source material tells it.

Twin Peaks episode 11

In which I could’ve done without a giant fight episode, but at least everyone stayed in character, which made for some lighter moments, mostly delivered by Our Demon General Swimsuit Model, and a bit of mild fan-service delivered by Lady Hero Lady’s Tank Girl, who goes toe to toe with a dragon and only loses her outer layer of clothing.

Verdict: wrap it up quick, please, and get back to the slow life.

NieR episode 8

Okay, so Our Chipper Hacker In Short Pants is walking into a trap while Our Floral-Breasted Battle Maiden is being out-serviced by Our Bikini-clad Jackass Jackass, and Our Dominant Beefcake Robot has disappeared while His Effiminate Brother finally does what he’s told, and it doesn’t matter anyway because we’ll forget all this shit by the time the rest of the season finally airs, after the sweatshop spread Covid and delayed production. Again.

Verdict: thank goodness for less robot-voice.

[this late update brought to you by a took-longer-than-intended Artifactory upgrade, and I’m including the most entertaining error message from one of the problems we ran into, for anyone else who runs into it. TL/DR: pause federation for the affected repos on both sides, turn it back on, then push the config from A to B]

School Live! Letters

What do you do after saving the human race from a zombie apocalypse? There’s now a final volume of the School Live! manga, following the lives of Our Survivor Schoolgirls, growing up and getting closure in the slowly-recovering world. Very well done.

Metaphor alert!

Illegal aliens kill bald eagle for food.

Illustrated Manual

Well, that’s one way of telling people what the gloves are good for.

Carnival Row season 2

The best news about the two episodes that were released this week is that they’re pruning side-plots by pruning characters. Having Our Half-breed Hallucinating Hero turn into a completely different character as the bodies pile up doesn’t really improve the situation, though, and the words “desperate flailing” pretty much sum up the overall tone of the writing.

Farm Harem episode 10

In which finally!

The bulk of the episode revolves around three conniving schoolgirls and a neglected princess, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but we also add some dark elves to the harem, a new dungeon to the map, a fertility drug for the elf cheerleaders, and Our Voluptuous Vampire Vixen discovers that biting isn’t the only way to breed.

Verdict: okay, that’s one baby on the way.

Twin Peaks episode 10

This week, Our Two Dads abandon The Avengers to join My Three Grandpas, followed by The Attack Of The Insanely Jealous Second Son.

Verdict: still on the right side of the slow-life line.

(Clara’s apples just can’t compete (classical reference))

Nier episode 7

I’m really sick of the robot village, because far too much of the narrative is delivered in heavily-distorted mechanical voices that give me a literal headache. And then a wild A2 appears, but Our Heroes forgot to pack their pokéballs.

Verdict: this is not the hot girl-on-girl action I was looking for.

The upcoming 20th anniversary Pretty Cure All Stars movie will feature all 77 of them. None of whom I could put a name to.

Panty-Fighter Goddess Maid Café Harem

Based on the fan-service-heavy trailer, The Café Terrace And Its Goddesses will be filled with eye candy, but the guy at the center of the harem will spend half the season being an annoying prick. Or maybe we’ll get lucky and Truck-kun will send him off to another world and the girls will just run the place themselves.

(this is a day for mostly-unrelated pictures)

Why you should carry a Fluffy Bunny Burglar Pillow in .45 Safety Cuddle:

Illinois state rep claims putting “M&P” on the slide makes a gun a weapon of war. Someone should buy this assclown a box of Grape Nuts.

Farm Harem episode 9

In which Our Senior Wolfgirl defends an oppressed minority, a well-fed harem is a happy harem, a merchant lines his pockets after finding dry trousers, Our Topless Snake Girls establish relations-but-not-the-naughty-kind, Our Outplayed Mayor loses his pants, Our Drunken Dragon’s ploy is revealed, and the latest haremette is Our Spinster Dragon Lady. Not necessarily in that order.

Verdict: our one chance to see boobs, and the mayor orders the snake girls to cover up? And this is not a buy-the-bluray-tease sort of show. Related, why the shortage of redheads in this harem? I cry foul!

Twin Peaks episode 9

A Very Special Episode: Dariel’s Daddy Issues. Also, Our Demon General Swimsuit Model nearly gets herself killed by being a total airhead, but fortunately only ends up wetting herself in terror again. Our Lady Hero Lady can sympathize, after discovering what it’s like to get on the wrong side of Our Former Hero. Now, as long as they don’t reveal that Our Mighty Waifu is secretly Our Un-Orphaned Mayor’s half-sister, things should turn out okay. In other news, the demon lord has hidden depths.

Verdict: they’re walking a fine line with the serious bits, but managing to stay on the slow-life-with-giant-boobs side.

(running out of relevant pics for this show, so here’s a good-sized pair… of glasses)

Nier episode 6

In which The Resistance goes viral.

Verdict: they really need to crank out some more copies of those older models. And I like the way they spiced up some of 9S’ exposition by framing it with a closeup of 2B’s boob.

Buried Lede

I love how Anime News Network doesn’t feel the need to explain what “ASMR” means, especially in the context of announcing an upcoming release featuring Roxanne from the Dungeon Slave Harem series. But the real news is that they’re also making a Roxanne hug pillow.

Amusing:

My employer’s Facilities department just asked me about my seat assignment in their consolidated Mountain View offices. I was delighted to tell them I don’t need a dedicated space in a building 2,000 miles away. 😁

(in fact, I’m happy to have had no reason to set foot in California since last April, since the state gov really, really tries to keep collecting taxes after you move away, insisting that you’re still a resident for tax purposes)

Not Amusing:

Today I Learned that Doctor Sue was such a mess that they brought back all the worst elements of the convoluted Weeping Angel stories and made them even worse.

Annoying:

A representative from the power company showed up early Friday afternoon to install a new smartmeter. The online documentation for this “upgrade” very casually mentions that it enables a “self-healing grid” capability that involves remotely cutting off your power. In conditions that it is very careful not to clearly define or limit.

Anyway, he knocked first, which allowed me time to shut down the gear that isn’t on the UPS, like the wireless APs. Still, my personal Mac took forever to reconnect to wireless, even while my work Mac was already back into a Zoom meeting. I had to shut off wireless completely and then re-select the correct network from System Preferences. Doing those same operations from the menubar simply didn’t work.

Farm Harem episode 8

In which Our Senior Wolfgirl better start shaking her tail, because there’s already new competition from the dragon and demon camps, with Our Headstrong Pettanko Dragongirl and Our Overconfident Demon Schoolgirl entering the picture. Still no relief for the divine tool, though, as Our Dwarven Brewmasters aren’t interested in any woman who can’t grow a beard.

(the dragon and demon girls don’t know they’re waifu material yet, but it’s no accident that their parents sent virgin sacrifices to appease Our Hoetown Mayor)

Verdict: way past time to stop being coy and get on with the baby-making. Among other things, Tia doesn’t officially become a wife (as opposed to a Willing Waifu) until Ru’s firstborn comes along, and they haven’t even shown her swelling up yet.

NieR episode 5

In which a visit to a peaceful robot village is bookended by the underdressed robot beefcake, first in tighty-whities, then in pants, something I could have done without. Fortunately, in between, the camera continues to linger over 2B’s well-packed cleavage and creamy thighs, while the story meanders along.

Verdict: 2B-service.

Twin Peaks episode 8

In which we learn the answer to the question, “just how many times in one day can a Demon General Swimsuit Model wet herself in fear?”. Also, pity the poor demons serving under this wench, who must be constantly filing worker’s comp claims for whiplash, both physical and emotional. Also, Dariel achieves the rare double squeeze play, inevitably followed by the double smackdown.

Verdict: the kid knows what’s important in life. And the plot doesn’t thicken so much as it bounces, enough so I’m not terribly worried about next week’s thickening.

(in retrospect, Our Appreciative Hero had no idea the danger he was in when he first arrived in the village and consulted her breasts for every decision)

Farm Harem episode 7

In which Our Mayor Of HaremVille acquires three friendly neighbors, an open-door policy, a town drunk, a genre-savvy busty virgin (for now) wolfgirl and 19 junior-high wolfgirls, and a trio of wolfboys to feed to the army of busty elf cheerleaders… in 5-10 years when they hit puberty. Seems fair; it would probably take them that long to get to the front of the line for the divine tool anyway.

Verdict: focusing on a smaller number of haremettes allowed them to be animated occasionally rather than just panned stills, and the reminder that everyone living there is ridiculously OP produced some amusing reactions in the visitors. And part of his monologing is even out loud, to other people.

(Crossover: the “how to die a happy man” starter set)

NieR My Covid To Thee episode 4

The story-telling is a bit pretentious, and definitely being slow-played, but they actually have a story to tell (thanks to a large quantity of source material), and Our Warrior Princess remains both decorative and functional.

Verdict: 2B, continued.

Twin Peaks episode 7

Our Lady Hero Lady is a very silly person, quite at odds with her public image, and I’m grateful for her taste in disguises. She’s also a decent sort who is capable of realizing what she really needs, as well as the depth of what Our Husbandly Hero reveals to her. Meanwhile, Our Demon General Swimsuit Model and Our Demon General Wholesome Maiden are on the move. I won’t say that I’m looking forward to the plot thickening, but I’m starting to fear it less.

Verdict: the kid accepts no substitutes; go thou and do likewise.

Farm Harem episode 6

In which at least sixty more busty young women move in, most of whom are eager to have their fertile fields plowed by the divine tool (the rest will no doubt come later, so to speak). If they had the budget to animate all those breasts at once, it’d be like an earthquake. Tasty, tasty earthquake.

Despite all the low-cut tops and miniskirts, shown off this week in a grape-stomping dance, the show remains fundamentally innocent about the harem dynamics, with all the waifu-plowing kept completely offscreen and out of the narrative. I don’t think they’ve even shown anything that confirms that Tia’s a bouncy bedmate.

Also, god’s in the doghouse because he forgot to tell Our Plowing Hero that the god of agriculture that he carved a statue of is actually the goddess of agriculture, who does not appreciate being worshipped in the form of a crusty old man. The gods are completely hands-off, though, so there’s no correction incoming, but we do get a quick handwave of how the divine farming tool suddenly transformed into a Not Safe For Farming OP weapon when convenient.

Verdict: decorative, but the more girls there are to show off, the more the limitations of the animation budget show through. There’s only so much you can do with panned stills, no matter how pleasant the contents. At least with the original seven elf cheerleaders, they spent a few seconds giving them some personality, but adding fifty more without any animation is just posing cardboard cutouts around the village. The OP is still promising demon girls, dragon girls, dark-elf girls, and animal girls, plus some non-waifu characters; is there any money left to animate them?

Slap That Ars episode 6

The plot is now officially thick, with a large cast of people whose actions and motives I couldn’t care less about. About the only thing I liked in this episode was the orc princess turning out to be a proper shoulder loli.

Verdict: bye!

(happy fairy lolis are unrelated but tamed)

Twin Peaks episode 6

Okay, he’s human (Achievement Unlocked: The D!). Signals were sent and received, and Our Squeeze-Dried Hero scored a hole-in-one. Usually it’s the girl who has trouble walking the next morning, but Our Fertile Heroine took no prisoners. Offscreen, of course.

Verdict: LoL x 3. Also, the new Hero has talents sufficient for me to overlook the plot advancement back in DemonVille.

Saitou’s Last Stand episode 6

After another lengthy flashback comes another cliffhanger, as last week’s messy boss fight turns out to be a three-parter.

Verdict: screw this nonsense.

Farm Harem episode 5

This week, the elf cheerleaders show off the new house and escape-proof bedroom, Ru lets her hair down and shows off a bit of lingerie, the dogs confirm that cilantro tastes like soap, Our Kept Hero continues silently monologing instead of talking with his companions, and they all play Winter games together. However, what happens in the playroom stays in the playroom, as the animators continue to keep the waifuplay offscreen. If it weren’t for Ru’s lacy bit-of-nothing, you could pretend they’re just roommates.

Verdict: lite cheesecake.

Giant Ars episode 5

In which Our Fighting Paladin is happy to be cuddled by a pair of cute orc lolis until he’s told he can have one for the night, Our Jessica Rabbit continues to be about as sexy as stale toast despite being drawn that way, Our Kid Sidekick does something stupid again before making up for it with his first sensible idea, Our Cat In The Cat Hat nyas at a Cat In A Tiger Hat, a bunch of random side characters dribble out Incomplete Plot Coupons, and a lot of footage is recycled four or five times.

Verdict: can we put Our Exploding Loli into a different show where she gets to run around in wide-eyed wonder and eat like a pig? Those continue to be the best parts of the show.

(heavily-armed loli is unrelated)

In fairness, if they’d just quietly slipped an orc loli into his bed, he’d most likely have plowed her like an elf cheerleader and kept his mouth shut the next morning,

Twin Peaks episode 5

I’m sorry, but I just can’t buy the drama in this duel. How are we supposed to believe that “no D-rank adventurer could beat a B-ranker”, when we’ve already seen Our Mighty Hero one-shot a monster that his opponent’s entire party couldn’t take down?

Instead, we get an overlong fight scene they clearly didn’t have the budget for, because they had to farm out this episode’s character art to a D-rank studio.

Meanwhile, after suffering the indignity of having the wrong man touch her boob, Our DDD-Rank Heroine drops her broadest hint yet, climbing into the sauna with Her Future Husband while wearing only a poorly-secured towel.

Verdict: if she doesn’t get the D-for-Dariel next episode, he’s not human.

Saitou Knows Jack episode 5

What’s the exact opposite of what I wanted out of this show? If you guessed “giant clusterfuck of a boss fight filled with side characters, flashbacks, and exposition, ending in a cliffhanger”, you’re spot-on.

Verdict: fail.

(2B is not happy that her show is on indefinite hold)