The nut falls near the tree…

The manufactured outrage about the processing of minors who were smuggled across the border (some with a parent) has exposed just how batshit-crazy the typical Leftist really is, but this one might be exceptional:

A criminal complaint shows Key is accused of calling Mast’s Washington, D.C. office Monday, and telling an intern who answered the phone, “I’m going to find the Congressman’s kids and kill them. If you’re going to separate kids at the border, I’m going to kill his kids. Don’t try to find me because you won’t.”

Spoiler alert: they found him very quickly.

“Looks like I picked a bad day to take up armed robbery”

Florida Man robs liquor store with knife. So far, just another day in paradise.

His getaway car fails to start, so he tries carjacking, getting a few cuts in before his victim pulls a gun on him and scares him off.

He then jumps into the passenger seat of a car in a Starbucks drive-thru. Driver hops out, opens the trunk, and pulls her gun on him, scaring him off.

Eventually he surrenders when police track him to the restroom in a nearby Supercuts.

Who knew?

Who knew the NRA was filled with female Iranian muslim vegan animal-rights-activist [update: refugee, too] bodybuilders?

With apologies to The Weasel Patrol…

New Broward County Sheriff’s Department logo:

Side note

The Weasel Patrol graphic novel is available from Amazon. The patch is not.

Recto-cranial inversion in San Francisco

You get what you subsidize, SF:

“We’re losing tourists. We’re losing conventions in San Francisco. All of this is happening because we aren’t addressing the root cause, which is we need more temporary beds for street homelessness.”

Seriously, how hard is it to figure this out? “We’re going to tax tobacco/guns/etc out of existence, because people respond to incentives!” while simultaneously “We’re going to make our city a welcoming sanctuary for illegals and addicts, because people don’t respond to incentives!“.

I was calling San Francisco a shithole long before Hillary elected Trump…

A CryptoSucker born every minute…

Is it just me, or shouldn’t it be obvious to anyone capable of rubbing two brain cells together that “Initial Coin Offerings” are a total scam?

Seriously, in this latest one, the con artists actually responded to a request from a potential investor with the following:

“To benefit from our service you have to invest in our LoopX Coin. Already proofen by other successful coins guaranties this the stability of our system.”

Yeah, that just makes me want to invest my savings!

So, as the fleeced gather together to attempt a class-action lawsuit, I’d like to remind them that judges rarely get involved when Pokemon trades go bad.

Work-life balance enforced by LEED

Evenings and weekends considered harmful! Just got this notification from work:

I wanted to send out a notice in case you are not aware—the AC in our office only runs Mon. to Fri., from 6am – 7pm. Our property manager does not automatically run it on the weekends, to conserve energy and costs. If you will be working on the weekend and would like the AC on, I would need at least 48 hours’ notice to give to our property management office. Please note that there is a fee for this so if you will only be in for a short time, I would recommend we not turn on the AC.

(this does not, of course, apply to our computer room air conditioning, or we’d have noticed really quickly…)

She should sue her parents…

…for not teaching her “don’t play in traffic”:

Mariana Flores, a sophomore at UCSD, was demonstrating against Donald Trump’s victory on a busy San Diego freeway when a vehicle hit her. The accident crushed her pelvis, fractured her leg, and caused other serious injuries…

Flores, in her suit filed in late November, partly blames campus officials for her injury, arguing they should have stopped the protest before it got dangerous…

Pity this happened in California, where she’s sure to get paid off instead of laughed out of court. Seriously, how do you get to be old enough for college without knowing that running out into the middle of I-5 at night is a bad idea?

“Need a clue, take a clue,
 got a clue, leave a clue”