Dear Military Police,

When you’re through detaining them, drop them off on the other side of the border. Clearly they don’t like it here.

Since this is Texas, I’m guessing that the next time a masked gang enters the museum, there will be a more direct response.

Learn to CODEC…

I think journalists are offended by “learn to code” because they’re too busy showing off their mastery of CODEC: Crying Over Dead-End Careers.

Toxoplasmosis Masculinus

Dumas was limping a bit when I went out to the porch this morning, so I started to give him a lecture about toxic masculinity and how violence never solved anything, and he gave me a look that said,

“Dude, it got me laid last night; now open the damn cat food.”

Award-Winning Journalism!

Congratulations go out to Buzzfeed tonight, for digging a fake-news hole deeper than any that has come before! The icing on the cake is that one of their “journalists” never saw the supporting evidence for the story, and the other was serial fabulist Jason Leopold (no, seriously, they actually hired him). And they’ve stuck to their guns despite a categorical denial from Mueller’s Marauders.

For this capstone to a lifetime of non-achievement, I hereby give Buzzfeed:

The Bukkake Award for Fellatious Journalism

Because they’ve got more than egg on their faces now…

Election day reminder…

The “Resistance” is Feudal:

“Piss off, spammer”

Over the weekend, I got a text message from MoveOn on my cellphone. I’ve gotten political polls on this number before, but never a (hidden fundraising) text, so you can imagine my delight.

Hi, wrongname! I’m Lisa, a MoveOn volunteer. With less than 3 weeks until Election Day, we’re campaigning to build the Blue Wave in California! By uniting together we can end Republican control of Congress-will you pledge to vote blue on Nov 6? Reply YES & we’ll share periodic texts from MoveOn’s [redacted] number & send you a free BLUE WAVE sticker! (Msg & data rates may apply)

Never mind the fact that they spammed me. I’m in California, land of fruits and nuts. The only things my vote can influence here are the city council; the Ds dominate at the county level and above.

Honestly, if you’re so desperate that you’re trying to make Blue Waves in California, the internal polling must be really, really bad…

PS: pollsters can’t pronounce Poythress, but I’m voting for him.

A.G. Russell, R.I.P

Knife-industry giant and all-around gentleman A.G Russell III has passed. Nothing yet on the web site, but email has gone out to long-time customers.

The Mental Game

I’m just sayin’

“Need a clue, take a clue,
 got a clue, leave a clue”