A fond farewell to Election 2004

Bad Haiku Edition:

Hatred and contempt,
empty suits, money, and Moore,
still can't rock the vote.

Personal health care, Bad Haiku Edition

hole in arm closing
biopsy was negative
springtime is bike time

WWDC Keynote Review, Bad Haiku Edition

Rumor mill gone wild.
Mac news sites getting pounded.
Girl-watching instead.

Intel rumor true?
Blech, what a bad idea.
Third-parties wave bye.

Can’t test without one!
Buy Rent Intel Mac bundle now!
Dev costs just doubled.

Dev site: “The reque-
sted application was not
found on this server”

Was planning to buy
dual G5 tower real soon.
Bit less likely now.

Adobe upgrade.
Should I buy CS2 now?
xMac next summer…

Remembering Zork, Haiku Edition

the quiet forest
a white house stands before you
you see a mailbox.

climbing the dark stairs
you were eaten by a grue
GET THE LAMP next time.

(maybe more later…)

Speaking truth to moonbats, Bad Haiku Edition

Driving in this morning, I reflected on yesterday’s sighting of the usual group of “9/11 was a Republican plot!” nutcases on University Avenue, and felt inspired.

"Chickenhawk," you say,
to silence your opponents.
Get a job, hippie.

Customizing for Usability, Bad Haiku Edition

I’m doing 45 minutes of cardio (most) every day on my LifeFitness 5500 elliptical cross-trainer. Doctor’s orders. I like working out on this machine, and it’s certainly good for me, but I’ve always had a problem occupying my mind. In the past, I’ve simply listened to music on my iPod, generally a PopTarts mix (or, more recently, JPopTarts). Studying kanji and vocabulary for my Japanese class would be an ideal use of this time, but I never ordered the optional magazine stand, and it doesn’t look like they make it any more.

So, I stopped at an office supply store and bought the only non-ridiculous copy-holder they sold. Just setting it on top of the crosstrainer worked fairly well, but hid the display. I really needed it to sit above the display section, but there was no obvious way to accomplish this feat. And then, a moment of clarity:

How to attach this...
What mounting system will work?
Ah! Some gaffer tape!

4/1/2006, Bad Haiku Edition


(if you arrived via the RSS feed, you may have missed the joke)

Update: I guess I was a bit too subtle. One friend said “it looks like you used some font that’s not on my Linux box”. Another said “hey, it looks like your site’s been hacked”, but he also fell for World of Warcraft’s prank.

I had a more elaborate prank planned, with a very specific target in mind, but I just plain ran out of time. This was an easy, last-minute joke: grab some Japanese spam email from my Junk folder, type “asian porn” into Google and grab some non-explicit banner ads and thumbnails, create a simple but hideous layout, and compose a Bad Haiku that could easily be translated by BabelFish (whence the name of my “haxx0r”, Babe.F1sh).

Understanding Zen, Bad Haiku edition

seeker of wisdom
finds inside fortune cookie
cheap bumper sticker

“Need a clue, take a clue,
 got a clue, leave a clue”