“It was very difficult to get the Irish girls to expose their breasts.”

— Insightful commentary from John Boorman, director of Zardoz

Cop Craft 11 & 12


Episode 11: cops do cop things, shallow allegories do shallow allegorical things; Our Heroes outnumbered, a wild villain appears!

(in the final scene)

Episode 12: talk-talk, talk-talk, talk-talk, fight! voiceover, decision, and…done. Our Heroes ride off into the sunset, to adventures that will never be animated.

The mostly-straight adaptation of the first novel was good. The chainsaw-and-superglue attempt to race to book six as the finale, not so much. Honestly, they used the middle novels and the supporting cast so little and so poorly they’d have been better off jettisoning it all and focusing on Our Heroes versus Zelada.

Focus. That’s what was missing. The vampire story from book two? Interesting, but nonessential, with dangling plot threads that went nowhere. Tirana’s undercover work and cute whore girlfriend, which was apparently anime-original (replacing her going undercover as a schoolgirl and losing a completely different friend)? Some nice character development, ruined by the baffling decision to completely ignore Tirana’s justifiable thirst for revenge, start the next episode as if nothing had happened, and put her into the cat’s body for an episode and a half. And then suddenly we’re in book six, and as that story starts to unfold, they break it up with a clip episode. WTF?

The alternative, in the hands of a good team, would be to build on the source material and set up the confrontation with Zelada for a second cour. Do the cop stuff, do the wacky stuff, flesh out the supporting cast, and leave the audience demanding another 13 episodes.

So much potential, so sadly wasted. I’m not sure it even works as an ad for the novels, although the first few episodes got the whole set into the top 20 on Amazon Japan briefly. Since then, book 7, originally scheduled to come out in September, has been delayed, and doesn’t show a release date.

Dear Amazon,


If I buy Echo Frames, Echo Buds, and an Echo Loop, and sit in a car equipped with an Echo Auto, will they all misunderstand me the same way?

More seriously, will they all fight over the Bluetooth connection to my phone, rendering their functionality non-deterministic?

Also, is it just me, or does the name “Ring Stick Up Cam” sound like something to wear in case you get mugged?

[Not buying the glasses, by the way, because I hate the way thick plastic frames look on my face. Not buying the earbuds, because I have Ankers, and they’re pretty good. Not buying the ring, because it’s huge. Not buying the smart oven, for the same reason I don’t want a gas range that has WiFi: fire bad. Also not buying the Studio, the Show, or the Glow. The Flex has potential, since it replaces the common hack of mounting a Dot on an outlet, but I won’t buy one unless you offer a trade-in on earlier-generation devices; they still work, so why buy more?]

You’d think Al Gore was in town…


Potentially-historic snowstorm in progress; 60 MPH winds and 4 feet of snow to hit the northern Rocky Mountains.

Hey kids, comics!


He’s an orc warrior tired of rapine and slaughter.

She’s a busty knight who can’t handle emotional conflict.

They fight crime make manga!

In random isekai news, I just stumbled across the first two translated volumes of The Knight Cartoonist And Her Orc Editor on Amazon. The gimmick is that the knight’s armor frequently shatters under the stress of emotional damage, exposing the goods.

DanMachi 2.12


…and…done. With a post-credits scene setting up the next season, whenever that will be.

A quiet, warm finish, with Hestia having a rare moment of serious goddesshood before reverting to her wacky self.

New character in game? Peasant wench Ais. I’ve already got eight versions of her (and way too many Bells and Hestias, most of them useless), and the only one I’ve maxed out is Summer Princess, which was the first character I was able to max-limit-break, and still a reliable front-line fighter.

Haruhime is my only other maxed-out character, who more than doubled my high score in the current RecordBuster, allowing me to finally finish off the last of the Expert Adventurer missions and get a guaranteed 4-star pull (which, sadly, ended up being that asshole Hyakinthos; good for a fire team, if I were to pull him five more times and invest a lot of resources, but honestly, I’d rather sell him for Dulb).

Dear Amazon,


I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest they used the wrong picture for this product listing:

Dear Apple,


Oh, hell no!

Good news, Apple users! The mothership has released critical security updates this week for all platforms.

Bad news, iOS users! If your device supports iOS 13, you can’t get the update to 12.4.2, and have to accept all the new bugs and brokenness in 13.1.

iOS 12.4.2
Released September 26, 2019
Available for: iPhone 5s, iPhone 6, iPhone 6 Plus, iPad Air, iPad mini 2, iPad mini 3, and iPod touch 6th generation

Impact: A remote attacker may be able to cause unexpected application termination or arbitrary code execution

iOS 13.1 and iPadOS 13.1
Released September 24, 2019
Available for: iPhone 6s and later, iPad Air 2 and later, iPad mini 4 and later, and iPod touch 7th generation

Impact: A person with physical access to an iOS device may be able to access contacts from the lock screen

The watch updates are similarly fucked.

Update

If you update your iOS devices to 13.1.1 (yes, 13.1 lasted only a few days before they figured out it sucked, too), not all of the iCloud functionality is compatible with Macs running Mojave. You must upgrade to Catalina (which hasn’t been released yet, and which is likely buggy as hell; the betas certainly were) to get everything to sync cleanly again.

9/30 Update

…and here’s iOS 13.1.2, fixing Even More Bugs. It’s almost like they knew they were inflicting buggy crap on millions of customers and didn’t care.

No, wait, it’s exactly like they inflicted buggy crap on millions of customers and didn’t care.

If you give an Apple an app…


The publishers of the DanMemo mobile game learned an important lesson Wednesday: never update your servers until you’re sure Apple has approved the new version of your app for download. The resulting lengthy “unscheduled outage” could be painful when your business model is based on convincing people to constantly buy imaginary coins to trade in to collect imaginary toys.

Up next, a Halloween Hogwarts event:

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