Too soon, China, too soon:

(via)

While this would provide a cardio workout, I’m pretty sure it’s not a kettlebell, despite being categorized as such:

Likewise, I’m sure chicks dig this, but still, not a kettlebell:

(I was thinking of picking up a pair of nice sandbags for doing Farmer’s Walks, but shipment of exercise equipment has been indefinitely delayed pretty much everywhere; I’ll just have to make do for now by strapping 4-kilo ankle weights to my largest pair of bells)

(By the way, the “sand kettlebells” on Amazon are obvious crap; it’s telling that not a single one of them has any reviews at all. It looks like the best thing on the market is the Rogue Fitness Strongman Throw Bag, which costs more empty than a good 70-pound bell plus shipping)

Well, of course it’s gluten-free; most plastics are.

In fairness, this one is a wrong-photo problem, not the usual categorization error:

In a week of remarkably stupid things, this may set the record:

Krugman: Only Pelosi and Fed chairman can save the economy

Please, for the sake of your sanity, do not click the link. If Nancy Pelosi were truly our only hope, the World As We Know It would be lost forever.

Evening update

Monterey County joined the ranks of the sheltered-in-place today. I didn’t notice until just now, since I never check local news. It had no effect on the pizza guy I generously tipped (who was in mask and gloves; food-service grade, but better than just grabbing a sawdust mask at Home Depot…); quick delivery, although I expect he’ll get busier over the next three weeks, unless they rescind it early.

The FAQ that went along with this order stresses that people should buy groceries and supplies in normal amounts, since all the stores are staying open and receiving regular stock. I suspect that will continue to fall on deaf ears.

Went out for butter and eggs (one package of each). All of the normal dry pasta and noodles were gone (organic, vegan, gluten-free, and instant options were in plentiful supply). Naturally, this meant that all the spaghetti sauce and half of the canned tomatoes were gone, too. And since yesterday, there was a big run on Campbells Chunky soups, but nobody was buying Progresso.

But they also cleaned out the large tubs of yogurt, normal/large eggs (I had to buy extra-large), and frozen vegetables.

And the frozen waffles. Eggo brand only, not the store brand or any of the “specialty” (fad-diet) stuff.

Surrounded by overstuffed shopping carts, I did what any sensible man would do: bought two boxes of frozen pizzas and two six-packs of Diet Pepsi. Because they were both on 2 for $X deals.

Update

Forgot to mention it earlier, but there was only one person in the store wearing a mask. Unfortunately it was a hardware-store mask that’s only good for sawdust, and since she hadn’t pinched the nosepiece, it wouldn’t have even blocked that.

Ten days ago, panic-buying hadn’t reached my neighborhood; the only things out of stock were hand sanitizer and masks (most of which weren’t the antiviral kind). Last night, both CVS and Safeway had empty shelves where the bottled water and toilet paper would be, and half-empty shelves of rice and beans.

But everything else was still in stock. Propane, candles, coffee, canned foods, kleenex (even the “anti-viral” kind), tampons, cereal, beer, bandaids, vitamins, aspirin, cold medicine, soap, bleach, cough drops, etc, etc.

Um, if all you’re buying is water, toilet paper, and rice, you’re preparing for a very peculiar apocalypse. What, you’re gonna sit on the porch in the dark boiling bottled water over a toilet-paper stove to cook your rice as the zombies roam the neighborhood looking for brains? Relax, you’ve just proven that you’re safe from them.

Vaguely related, don’t ask me to explain how a search for “propane” on Amazon returned Black Scorpion: The Series on Prime Video…

Hillary Clinton is launching her own podcast. I figure the opening theme will involve fingernails on a chalkboard.

Or they could use this little ditty, to the tune of Camptown Races:

🎶🎶🎶🎶
Epstein didn’t kill himself,
    doo-dah, doo-dah.
His death wasn’t suicide,
    it was a Clinton hit.
🎶🎶🎶🎶

I invite you to speculate on precisely where I think you should shove your ebook pricing model for the upcoming posthumous Heinlein novel:

I was planning to buy it, but now I dislike you and want your company to fail.