Trainsplaining, episode 11.5

Usually the filler clip episode comes around the halfway mark, but putting it right before the end and trying to cram in all the highlights resulted in something spectacularly incoherent.

Tsuntail: The Game

Er, I mean Kaiju No.8. Although I’m hoping for a playable tsuntail.

Big Kaiju Fight, episode 10

Usually by this point, most shows have blown the animation budget and things are getting iffy, but Our Slashy Vice-Captain gets to cut loose without turning into a panned still with speed lines, and the rest of Our Gang gets to participate as well, although the observers in the control room just get to shout “oh yes!”, “oh no!”, etc at each turn in the battle. When things get out of hand, Our Transmonster Hero rushes to the scene to out himself and save the day, but gets interrupted by the sudden return of Our Hot Captain, who whips out the big one.

Then it gets more out of hand, and he ends up transforming anyway, saving everyone when all the little monsters combine to form one giant boom. And getting caught at it. Oopsie.

Verdict: it was inevitable, and of course it had to be his childhood friend who took him into custody, but pointing a pistol at the guy who just punched out a nuke is basically a courtesy. Trope-y, but not unsalvageable.

Level 2 Cheat Boy, episode 11

Well, that little detail just turned the entire demon-human conflict into a deep pile of horseshit. If the fundamental problem is that many demons can’t suppress their “malicium”, and the new demon king and his generals are able to hide out at a human hot springs by wearing “malicium-suppressing amulets”, they just need to, y’know, make some more. They could even ask Our Infinite Craftsman to take up the task.

Anyway, both sides end up at the same hot springs resort, so Wacky Hijinks Ensue. And, stop me if you’ve heard this before, Our Idiot Former Hero shows up and accidentally activates a dangerous magic item. I know, I was shocked, too.

Verdict: Hila finally strapped down her witch for some experimental sexplay, so things are looking up. As soon as she figures out what this “consent” thing is about. And it ends next week.

(consent, how does that work?)

Wise Wolf Waifu Gone Wild, episode 12

This week, Our Merchant Couple takes their time hurrying to the rescue of Our Smuggly Shepherd; they have to work out the relationship dynamics first. Since they’re going straight into the next season, they pretty much wrap this up and don’t worry about damngling bait for a sequel.

Fingerprinting

I have never gotten reliable results out of a Windows fingerprint reader. I have never gotten unreliable results from Apple fingerprint readers. Once upon a time, I would have assumed that Apple simply used better hardware and wrote better software, but that hasn’t been a safe bet for years.

I’m left wondering if my experience on Windows is based on how well fingerprint readers actually work, and Apple’s just pretending it’s secure while accepting iffy scans.

(why use it in the first place? because while I have a Very Secure Passphrase on my 1password vault, I don’t want to type it every ten minutes when I’m the only one in the house and the doors are locked, and I don’t need to keep track of Yet Another Authenticator)

AI at the drive-thru

The perky young white girl who took my order and tried to upsell me three times was obviously not human, but got the order right. The adult human who took my money did not understand why I handed him $26.78 when the bill was $16.78, and it was like a revelation from the gods when I explained.

Today I Learned…

…that VMware Vcenter has no idea what to do when every attempt to move VMs onto a specific hypervisor fails. It’s the perfect destination because it has no VMs on it, so it’s always at the top of the list, and gets tried again and again and again. Infinite retries with no backoff.

(the fundamental problem seems to be that if you have two iSCSI interfaces which could be used to migrate a VM but one of them is down, live vmotion will always fail; if you shut down the VM, it will work, but it apparently insists on the redundant path for running VMs)

Delay of Train

We’ll have to wait an extra week for the last episode.

Nephy Life, fin

Since they ran out of plot and spent this episode wrapping things up, the goofy music wasn’t inappropriate, just at the usual excessive volume. Foll nailed it when she commented on how unlikely it is that Our Happy Couple will kiss any time soon (measured in decades).

Verdict: a decent time-waster of a show. I didn’t expect much, and I got surprisingly good voice acting and a decent ED song.

Nut Salad, episode 11

Finally, the debut of the finished cast-off Livia doll, complete with pubic hair so authentic that Our Magical Daughter’s remaining innocence took a mighty blow. We’ve skipped straight to Christmas, by the way, largely to get Livia into a Santa bikini. Then the Gifu tourist board solicited an ad for the aquarium, Our Bad Girls In Love discover that it’s not as easy as it looks, and finally we tie up the loose end of Our Helpful Homeless Guy, who provides a solution to Our Girl Band’s vocal conflict.

Verdict: I’m going to miss this one when it’s over.

Regression To The Slime 3, episode 11

You’ll never believe this, but this week they sit around a table and talk, filling in lots of little details of things that could have happened on-screen, but are instead just a list of tell-don’t-show checkboxes.

Verdict: I expect to be too busy next season to even use this as background noise.

(still no explanation for why the nekkid vampire chick was rubbing herself against a cryo-coffin a few weeks back)

“Oh, I get it now”

Re-read a Terry Pratchett novel a few days ago. Just got one of the jokes as I was waking up this morning.

We’re starting to see final episodes this week, but of the ones I’m still watching, it’s only Nephy. Next week, Train Gals and Nut Salad end. Week after, it’s Level 2 and Kaiju 8. Slime Talk and Spicy Wolf both continue uninterrupted into next season.

Ah, My Train Goddesses!, episode 11

Everything’s falling into place. Or crashing into the end of the tracks. Or both. Our Train Gals finally see what Our MacGuffin Princess has become, but even with the help of Our Slightly Less Wibbly-Wobbly Conductor and Our Hot Little Doctor, they’re still missing a piece of the puzzle, and while Our Zombie Queen’s Army helps them find the magic button, the solution isn’t as simple as promised.

Verdict: well, here we go. Will the final episode wrap it up neatly or fall to pieces?

(hey, look, fan-art! and they’re not tied up or anatomically implausible!)

Level 2 Cheat Boy, episode 10

This week, “Kicking Myself Out Of The Demon King’s Army, I Took My Logistics Officer With Me To Live The Slow Life, Because That’s Kinda How That Trope Works, Right?”

Our Insecure Crush-Denying Knight Gal is of course opposed to letting them move in, but everyone else is down with the idea, so we spend time dealin’ with feelins’ before cutting to the miraculous offscreen escape of Our Idiot Former Hero And His Unsupported Support Gal.

Verdict: demon catgirl in civvies made up for a lot, and the promise of hot-springs cheesecake and hot genie-on-witch action next week have potential… if I didn’t already know what happens at the resort.

(not the new Demon Lord, sadly)

Spice Up The Wolf, episode 11

Did I say it was a bad plan? Yeah, and that was before they discovered Something in the forest. Our Little Blonde Smuggle-Bunny is being fed to the wolves, not the kind with four legs, and Our Desperate Merchant is helpless to help her, what with being fed to the four-legged variety himself. And Our Wise Wolf Waifu, who came up with this plan in the first place, has no idea what’s happening to either of them.

Verdict: cliff, meet hanger.

“Road rage”, huh?

Wednesday morning, well after rush hour, there was an incident on I-675 near Beavercreek (~17 miles away from my place) in which a still-unidentified male person driving a Ford hatchback shot at and injured a still-unidentified male person driving a Ford van, resulting in a treated-and-released injury. Person-of-Fordness #2 shot back, putting multiple holes in the first vehicle while apparently not injuring the driver, and then got off the highway and called 911.

Five days ago, and not a name, photo, vague description, political affiliation, group membership, known associate, or list of previous arrests for either party. And yet, the stories clearly state that the police interviewed both men, and they have 911 audio from one of them.

So we can be pretty sure that they’re not Trump voters or legal gun owners, three facts that would be prominently mentioned in every story.

Seriously, this story has holes big enough to drive a Ford through.

Direct quotes from the 911 call:

“I was just driving and this guy was flying up on my tail end, starts flipping me off in the mirror. I put my arm like ‘What I do?’ and he then gets on the side of me and points a gun at me.”

…

“I shot back at him and he hit me.”

This is the high-speed equivalent of “standing on a corner minding my own business”, and glosses over the whole “I had my gun where I could easily grab it while driving down the highway” (which, while technically legal in Ohio, is unusual for someone carrying legally, and especially unlikely at 10:20 AM). Also the part where his immediate response to being shot at while driving was to shoot back.

Unrelated,

Every time I restart my browser, xTwitter forgets that dark mode is ugly as fuck and a sin against legibility. I understand that privacy mode causes the browser to forget local storage between sessions, but when xTwitter themselves calls black-text-on-white the “default”, it should not do the exact opposite every time, especially since dank mode is disabled everywhere. And when the appropriate setting is filed under “Accessibility”, why is it browser-specific instead of account-wide? Do they think your vision changes when you look at other screens?

Kaiju Ate, episode 9

Yet Another Humanoid Kaiju shows up, this time leading an air raid on the base. The team pulls together, but even with anatomical advice from Our Transmonster Hero, it takes the upgraded power of Our Axe-Crazy Tsuntail to thin the herd with the help of Our Clever Sidekick (who is now the frontrunner for pounding her through a mattress after this fight’s over. Or the other way around; she seems the type to insist on being on top).

Meanwhile, Our Slashy Vice-Captain manages to go mano-a-kaiju with the boss monster who wants to eat him, and even seems to be winning until it goes Full ’Zilla on him.

Verdict: Big action fight with a cliffhanger? I feel a full transformation coming on next week.

(nobody does axe-crazy like Rory Mercury…)

Rangers Lost, episode 9

It’s a big battle between Team StrongJerk and Team CleverJerk, and I don’t care who wins. Maybe if they’d upped the ante by working some MCSAs into the action, showing that they know how to draw hot chicks wearing something other than clunky jumpsuits. But no, in this universe, combat uniforms are designed to actually protect the wearer from being stripped. Baffling.

Anyhoo, more flashbacks to slightly flesh out the spear-carriers in the tournament arc, while the Big Bad Boss is off licking his wounds. Our Closet Mook becomes a bit more engaged and sympathetic, but also gets tortured, so win some, lose some.

Verdict: oh, well, at least we’ll always have the OP and ED. I think I’m done here.

(with the endless garage-based tournament arc full of boring shouty idiots, I’m starting to miss these two…)

Better luck next season?

Promo trailers are starting to trickle out. It’s not looking good so far. And I’m including the fact that Slime will continue.

Not Nearly Enough Nephy, episode 11

As usual, the music knocks you right out of the story, until they resolve the leftover plot points and the whole thing devolves into slapstick. So, rather than fitting the music to the show, they eventually just fit the show to the music. Yeah.

This was not the last episode, but with pretty much everything wrapped up, what will they do next week?

Verdict: one big happy family, with terrible taste in music.

Nut Salad, episode 10

In which the camera loves Our Bountiful Knight, but the animators hate us. Our Overfamiliar Cult Leader loves her as well, but we’re not allowed to see that, either. Good thing for Livia that the figurines they’re making aren’t flavored…

Meanwhile, over in Our Loli Lawyer’s fertile imagination, Our Magical Daughter plays the cock-blocker for her plans to win the heart of Our Detective Daddy. Then she solicits the aid of her unknowing love rival, Our Slutty Detective, and gets cock-blocked again, this time by Our First Friend’s home cooking.

Gotta say, as unrequited lovers go, Noa’s definitely winning, keeping Livia as a well-fondled pet.

Verdict: they’re making it pretty clear that Livia’s nude scenes will not be enhanced for Bluray. That’s pretty much the only negative for this show, and I can only hope that fan-artists pitch in to deliver the goodies.

Slime, Interrupted 3, episode 10

After pretty much skipping over the fate of Our Holy Knight Gal last week, except to say that healing magic doesn’t work on her, I was wondering if they’d actually resolve it this time, or drag it out again. Either way, I expected lots of talking.

And we got it. Honestly, it’s amazing how Our Obvious Bad Guys manage to so thoroughly twirl their mustaches while their heads remain completely masked. Even while shouting out their invincible attacks that don’t manage to hurt anyone before being unceremoniously killed off. Then there’s more talking, and the promise of more talking next week. Oh, and a flashback to Hinata’s sad school life. And slapstick. Because nothing sets the mood like tonal whiplash.

Verdict: Oh, the hot nekkid vampire chick? She shows up covered from neck to ankle in a goth-loli dress, but at least we get to see her stripped for the hot springs bath. Self-censored. As a panned still. In a series of panned stills mostly consisting of naked men.

(there may come a time when seasons will be filled with well-written, well-paced anime; but not this season)

🎶 Fifty ways to use a schoolgirl 🎶

Every once in a while you come across a fan-artist with dedication. Like rendering the 48 positions of the “Japanese kama sutra” ( 四十八手) with high school girls and tentacle monsters.

NSFW

Trainsplotting, episode 10

The shouty went to 11 this week, between the brief family reunion and the over-extended manga parody/exposition. But at least we got Our Snapping Tan Gal to promise sexy violence.

Verdict: the manga parodies did nothing for me.

(“…and that’s the only train I’ll ever pull!”)

Level 2 Cheat Boy, episode 9

Yes, there is an actual plot now. We’ve got war, civil war, heroics, virgin sacrifices, and Our Power Couple openly discussing the possibility of producing children. Pro tip: you’ll find breeding a lot easier if you stop sleeping in beds that are ten feet apart.

Verdict: not sure what they’ve chosen as the stopping point for this, but we’re getting closer.

(needs red under-rim glasses, but otherwise an acceptable substitute for Our Demon Lord’s Jealous Little Brother’s Right-Hand Gal)

Hungry Like The Wolf-Waifu, episode 10

Finally! Although of course Holo pretends she was just teasing. Anyway, she has a plan for escaping from the debt trap, and while I think it is in fact a terrible plan, hey, at least there was some cuddling. Next week, Undercover Blonde!

(Clara isn’t the only one whose apples are the perfect size)

Kaiju-goo-goo: Too Shy, episode 8

Our Slashy Vice-Captain is as tough as he thinks he is, making for a serious one-on-one fight. Fortunately he doesn’t put the clues together in time that would have led him to switch from monster-fighting mode to human-fighting, allowing Our Hysterical Hero to escape and get chewed out by Our Collaborating Tsuntail. Then we learn more about Our Trope-Driven Teammates at the after-party, and Kafka sticks his foot in his mouth again in front of Our Hot Childhood Friend Captain.

Verdict: I still don’t have any interest in the trope gang, but the main trio is developing nicely. And I want to know why glasses-girl is featured in the end credits but has barely had any screen time.

(speaking of nicely-developed…)

Mook Versus World, episode 8

Half of the story this week is Our Angry But Trite God going on a slow, talky killing spree, but the other half is the still-going tournament arc, and I still don’t care what happens to these people.

Verdict: losing interest.

(unrelated losing heroine is unrelated, but cute)

Now Avoiding: Country Farms Fiber Care Gummies

Costco switched brands on their fiber chewables, and the new ones are so sticky they ripped out two of my crowns. Sadly, one got swallowed and the other came out broken, so that’s gonna be about $700 for brand new ones. That’s after insurance; fortunately I have plenty of cash in my HSA account(s).

Dear Max,

Check your calendar:

(the correct date in the associated email is July 5, 2024)

The Courtship Of Foll’s Adoptive Parents, episode 10

As usual, the music is hilariously out of sync with events. This week, Our Dragon Daughter reveals her discovery of her father’s horrific death while a jaunty tune plays in the background. That’s after the one-sided fight between Our Sorcerous Daddy and Our Villain-Not Knight, and Our Crybaby Knight’s revelation of friendship and commitment. And then Something Gets Loose, which inspires the music to get even less appropriate for the scene.

Verdict: there has never been a better candidate for an alternate audio track.

(my image collection is deliberately light on loli, dragon or otherwise)

Nut Salad, episode 9

This week it’s Girl Versus School, and Our Magical Loli Princess Daughter triumphs. As promised, on her first day of sixth grade she acquires four boyfriends and three retainers. Meanwhile, Her First Best Friend, who transferred to a nearby middle school expecting to be in seventh grade with her, is feeling pretty well fucked until she recognizes the signs of bullying and puts her experience to work by playing detective.

Our Girls make up, but there’s still some lingering resentment when Sara admits that she could have just faked her age, but wanted to unlock the “Grade School Detective” achievement.

Verdict: the usual fluffy fun, with the promise of nudity next week. At least some of which will come from Our Loyal Service Knight.

(non-loli princess from whom some nudity would be appreciated…)

Post-War Slime Exposition 3, episode 9

This week, it’s all about the action, as we change to completely different characters for completely different but equally one-sided battles. In other words, last week’s cliffhanger gets to hang on until next week.

Verdict: one could wish that the talking and the action were better integrated and less lopsided. Or that they’d followed up on last week’s surprise nekkid vampire.

(and they haven’t even mentioned Milim recently)

Prime Grubhub

Amazon Prime now covers Grubhub delivery fees, and is integrated for account and payment as well. The app doesn’t work if you set up the account through Amazon, because it doesn’t support using their authentication. You can either go in through Amazon’s app, or visit Grubhub’s site in a browser and request a password-reset link, converting to standard authentication.

The interesting thing is that Amazon promised this two years ago when they bought a stake in Grubhub, but only delivered it yesterday.

🎶 Yes, we have gone bananas 🎶

Unicorn Chaser

A pleasant juxtaposition found in the sidebar of a site that should only be viewed outside of a work environment, with Javascript disabled:

(that’s Aika Sawaguchi & Yuzuha Hongo above, with Miss I-Still-Got-It Ai Shinozaki below)

Apropos of nothing

Catching up on errands, and now I have this song running through my head (with apologies to Indigo Girls):

🎶 🎶 🎶
I went to the Kroger,
   I went to the Costco,
I did all my laundry,
   I ran the dishwasher.
There’s more than one task left uncompleted,
   keeping me from the barbecue.
And the less I search my porch for late deliveries,
   the sooner that I can dine.
🎶 🎶 🎶