I was driving down the highway this afternoon at “slightly less than 20 MPH above the speed limit”, when my phone suddenly blasted a siren sound through my car speakers, and my navigation software was covered with this bullshit:

Everything about this is stupid, including the fact that you can’t click on the link. Y’know, if you were actually concerned about scouting for a possibly-senile senior, and weren’t more worried about driving into a ditch from the shock of having a siren blast in your ears at 85 miles/hour.

Off to googlebing “how to disable silver alert”, and sites claim that the one category of “emergency” alert that somehow turned itself back on can be turned back off. Wonder how long until Apple “helpfully” fixes that for me again…

Apparently, the reason it took the House so long to turn in their homework was that they were waiting for Nancy Pelosi’s souvenir pens to arrive. Must have ordered them from China and refused to pay for express shipping.

Now I really want Trump to get re-elected, so these dumpster-dining bumblefucks can use their Historical Collectibles to slash their wrists.

Note to people eager to bid on the inevitable auctions for these silly things: across is for attention, down is for death.

Another day, another idiot Tesla driver:

The driver of the Tesla told police his car’s Autopilot feature had been activated and he was not facing forward – he was checking on his dog in the back seat, according to the state police’s Facebook post.

This assclown hit a parked police cruiser that had its hazard lights on.

(classical reference)

“🎶 One of these books is not like the others, one of these books really does belong. Can you tell which book is not like the others, before I finish my song. 🎶”

Clicking on the tile reveals several “Catholic Action Horror” novels, Simak’s Project Pope, Stasheff’s Wizard novels, Neil Boyd’s Bless Me Father novels, pretty much every novel by Andrew M. Greeley (no relation), and books on embroidery, aikido, ninjutsu, play therapy, and a Martha Stewart how-to manual. Oh, and some books on religion, evenly divided between Catholic and non-Christian.

Parked in front of the building today, and saw this bit of virtue signaling on the construction site across the street. Because smoking is the real hazard.

This is so trivial and stupid that I’d usually call it a nano-aggression or pico-aggression, but given the subject is combining characters in typography, I’m going to have to label it a pica-aggression.

Worst part is the replies take this bullshit seriously.

I can’t wait to see the Unicode folks cave to this nonsense and create a combinatorial explosion of directly-mapped emoji including all possible jendyr/raes/idenchy, to be immediately followed by complaints that the hex code for transbrown questioning dragonkin herm is proof of bigotry because it’s numerically higher than cishetyelloman.

The two packages I expected today arrived as scheduled. The third, unexpected, quite heavy package contained items I didn’t order, wouldn’t order, and according to your web site, are not associated with my account at all, despite having an Amazon-generated shipping label with my name on it.

All three came from the same fulfillment center in North Las Vegas. Is this an off-by-one error, where you’re printing an extra label that then gets slapped onto the next package in line?

In any case, somebody out there is probably wondering where their Fancy Feast cat food and Body Armor sports drinks are…

Now that hysterical idiots have declared the “OK” hand gesture a symbol of hatred and white supremacy (seriously, what do these imbeciles smoke?), the only rational response is to take away their computers, tablets, and smartphones, because they can be used to inflict imaginary pain and anguish on other idiots.

After all, if you ban 👌, only outlaws will have 👌.

The depth of my concern for this nonsense is best expressed as:

🎻 🎶ain’t that a shame🎶

(and if you can’t read this, clearly the fascists have already won!)