Humor

Friendzone Illustrated


SFW, but large animated GIF.

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Plausible headline…


“Russian Spy Snowden Weds Freelance Spy Manning”

Dear Hello!Project Costume Designers,


I’m pretty sure there’s nothing Egyptian about these costumes, despite their use in your new stage show “Pharaoh’s Tomb”.

What’s in a name?


Shouldn’t these be called naanites?

I went somewhere else with this…


Zig-a-zig-ah.

With apologies to John Denver…


🎶 🎶 🎶 🎶
Well, flyover country’s kinda laid back,
Ain’t much an old Deplorable like me can’t hack.
Grab a couple guns, toss ’em in the back.
Thank God for the NRA.

Well, inanimate objects never did me no harm,
There’s no one in my family afraid of a firearm.
Eddie Eagle says ‘kids, it’s not a magic charm’.
Thank God for the NRA.

Well, I got me a rifle to make the Left piddle,
With the black scary parts that all do very little.
Logic’s wasted on a mob that needs committal.
Thank God for the NRA.

 

When the shootin’s done and the guns are aglow,
I pull out my cleanin’ kit and give ’em all a go,
Lock ’em in the safe where I keep the fresh ammo,
And thank God for the NRA.

I’d do Mozambique drills all day if I could,
’Cause the wife says it scares hippies from our neighborhood.
But unlike them I’ve a job, pay’s pretty good.
So thank God for the NRA.

Well, I got me a rifle to make the Left piddle,
With the black scary parts that all do very little.
Logic’s wasted on a mob that needs committal.
Thank God for the NRA, woo-hoo!

 

Well, I wouldn’t trade my guns for diamonds or jewels,
I never was one of them bunny-huggin’ fools.
Rather have my rifle and my loadin’ tools.
Thank God for the NRA.

Yeah, city folk spittin’ on Army and Marine,
A lotta sad losers thinkin’ that’s a-mighty keen.
People they can’t understand, they gotta demean.
Thank God for the NRA.

Well, I got me a rifle to make the Left piddle,
With the black scary parts that all do very little.
Logic’s wasted on a mob that needs committal.
Thank God for the NRA, yessir!

 

Well, my rifle was my daddy’s till the day he died,
And he took me by the hand, held me close to his side.
Said, “Live a good life, shoot the rifle with pride,
and thank God for the NRA”.

Well, my daddy taught me young how to hunt and how to whittle,
Taught me how to work and play a tune on the fiddle,
Taught me that with lib’rals, ya lead ’em just a little—
And thank God for the NRA.

Well, I got me a rifle to make the Left piddle,
With the black scary parts that all do very little.
Logic’s wasted on a mob that needs committal.
Woo! Thank God for the NRA, yeah!
🎶 🎶 🎶 🎶

Use my pronouns, or else!


I’d say all the cool kids are doing it, but I’d have to leave out the “cool” part…

  1. Ham
  2. Mustard
  3. Rye
  4. Toast
  5. Bacon

Ubuntu-powered sex toys


In beta now, Bionic Beaver. Next up should be Steely Dan; it fits their marketing strategy.

“Need a clue, take a clue,
 got a clue, leave a clue”