So, if you’re trying to add a shiny new office color laser printer (such as the two Kyocera TASKalfa 5052ci that were delivered to our new building), and you’re running Mac OS X El Capitan, and you get a spinning beachball of doom no matter what protocol you try to connect with, here’s what’s going on and how to fix it.

Let’s say you try to use the LPD protocol. As you type each character of the host name, Apple looks it up in DNS and tries to connect via SNMP to figure out what it is. When you click “Add”, it then uses IPP to query for device options.

This is where it goes to hell. The Mac posts a request using HTTP, and the Kyocera says “that shit’s insecure, call me back on HTTPS”. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. killall AddPrinter

The same thing happens if you try to use IPP directly, or JetDirect, or pretty much any protocol. Works fine on Sierra or High Sierra, blows chunks on El Capitan.

The only fix is to log into the printer and completely disable SSL. Note that it is not sufficient to simply shut off SSL; you must also disable the “Secure Only” feature for every protocol (and probably login to the printer again, since you’ll be killing the HTTPS page that you’re currently logged in through), or it will keep redirecting you to pages that it knows perfectly well don’t exist.

Not a big fan of shutting off SSL, but redirect-to-broken-SSL is worse.

(original via)

It’s amazing how much less random root and postmaster email I get when 2,000+ servers are down (deliberately, that is; I get a lot more email when they’re down accidentally…).

(they really needed a few more takes for Kate Mulgrew on this scene to make her hand gesture less artificial, but Joel Grey is so perfect that I’m willing to forgive them)

Saturday Update

Doing 85 MPH on the highway with Twinkle Trick blasting on repeat is how I bring over switches from the old building.

You are so fired. The four potted bamboo plants on my front porch that were up to a lovely arching 8 feet in height are now horrifically topped like a cheap shrub.

By the way, the guy on the left didn’t bring a date; he’s just there to feel up your wife. His name’s Harvey.

🎶🎶🎶
I work miracles.
Inevitabl-
-y your inept planning makes you need
me work miracles.
🎶🎶🎶

“What do you mean by ‘the data center is on a truck’?”

What’s the headquarters for all Strike Witch forces?

No relation to the Cartoon Network series…

NSFW

(via)

…which reminds me that I’m way overdue for a big cheesecake post. Maybe this weekend, if we don’t have any problems moving the entire company into a new building.