“Candidates Propose Changes To Fix Flaw In Constitution That Allows Republicans To Be Elected”

— Truth In Satire, from The Babylon Bee

"Don't bend your belly-button!"


Tuesday night, I managed to scrape together enough time to finish the novel I’ve been reading in Japanese. I was a bit disappointed in the ending, not so much in how the kids defeated the evil witch as in why it worked. But that’s a blog entry for another day.

Tonight, I’m going back through it, looking for the words and phrases that I didn’t find in my pocket dictionary (aka, “DS Lite running Kanji Sonomama”). Some of it I still can’t find (particularly mimetic expressions), but there are some fun ones.

First up, 「へそを曲げる」, which JMdict translates as “to get angry; to become perverse”, but it literally means “to bend your belly-button”. The impudent young warlock who says “heso o mageru na yo, baachan” to the cranky old witch clearly means “calm down, granny”, but since the thing she’s upset about is his lack of respect, it doesn’t really work.

"Oh, by the way..."


Ordinarily, if someone said, “there’s a grill in your office”, I’d consider it a feature.

Cube clutter

Don't Throw Me Away


[Another depressing song, this time performed by Yuuko Nakazawa on her debut album. It wasn’t released as a single, so there’s no complete performance on video, but a trimmed version can be found here. The translation is mostly literal, and I’ve tried to preserve the original line breaks rather than rewrite it as smooth English.]

捨てないでよ

“Don’t throw me away”

作詞:つんく 作曲:つんく 編曲:川口 真

(lyrics and music by Tsunku, arrangement by Makoto Kawaguchi)

知らないふり いつもしてる
あなたの他の女性

I’m always pretending I don’t know about your other women.

ダメな女 苦しいのに
あなたをまた許してる

I’m a hopeless woman. Even though it’s painful, I’m forgiving you again.

今日は帰るの 明日は来るの
ねぇ ひとこと 「ごめん」と
言わせてみたいけど

Are you going home tonight? Will you come back tomorrow? Oh, one single thing, “I’m sorry”, I wish I could make you say it, but…

でも 待ってるばかり
でも 泣いてるの見せない
でも 待ってるばかり
でも 愚痴なんて言わない

Instead, I’m just waiting. Instead, I won’t show you that I’m crying. Instead, I’m just waiting. Instead, I won’t even grumble.

いつかはあなた 好きな女性できても
捨てないでよ

Even if someday you fall in love with someone else, don’t throw me away.

知らないふり いつもしてる
香水の残り香

I’m always pretending I don’t know, even with the lingering scent of their perfume.

いい女よ 全てそうよ
あなたの邪魔はしない

I’m a good woman, I won’t intrude on everything you do.

明日は来ない 電話もかけない
ねぇ ひとこと「好きだ」と
言わせてみたいだけ

You won’t come over tomorrow, and you won’t call. Oh, one single thing, “I love you”, is all I try to make you say.

でも 待ってるばかり
でも 淋しいと言わない
でも 待ってるばかり
でも 待ってると淋しい

Instead, I’m just waiting. Instead, I won’t say I’m lonely. Instead, I’m just waiting. Instead, when I’m waiting, I’m lonely.

いつかはあなた 好きな女性できても
捨てないでよ

Even if someday you fall in love with someone else, don’t throw me away.

でも 待ってるばかり
でも 泣いてるの見せない
でも 待ってるばかり
でも 愚痴なんて言わない

Instead, I’m just waiting. Instead, I won’t show you that I’m crying. Instead, I’m just waiting. Instead, I won’t even grumble.

いつかはあなた 好きな女性できても
捨てないでよ
捨てないでよ

Even if someday you fall in love with someone else, don’t throw me away. Don’t throw me away.

Mice-Quelling


As a general rule, one does not expect to find that replacing a single server with several significantly faster ones has reduced performance by a factor of four. On reflection, however, perhaps it is inevitable that the word “cluster” must be followed by the word “fuck”.

Dear Apple,


Design note: do not assemble laptops with screws that are precisely the correct size to fall into the DVI adapter’s screw holes.

…on the bright side, once I found a strong magnet, I was able to finish installing my new 7200rpm 320GB drive (Amazon, free shipping, $90), giving me the delicious luxury of 200GB of (briefly-)free space.

…and I’m apparently better at putting MacBook Pros back together than the folks at the Apple Store, since the locking mechanism actually works properly again.

J-Spam: no thanks, I'm good


For once, my Japanese spam isn’t about how to find beautiful younger women who’ll pay you for sex:

アメリカのネイティブスピーカーのようなライティングも夢ではありません

[update: oh, good grief:

このソフトは、あなたの英文を向上させます

英語スキルをアップグレードしましょう

]

[Update: …and two more today, with completely different subject lines. The thing I find interesting is that this is all of the Japanese spam I’m getting right now. Nothing about getting laid, finding women, male enhancement, just “improve your English”. It’s a worrying economic sign when the bottom-feeders of the ad world think that Japanese men are more likely to spend money on career skills than on mercenary schoolgirls and horny housewives.]

[Update: Ah, that’s better; it took a few days, but now I’m getting things that start off with phrases like 「女をマインドコントロールして自由に…」. I guess there’s hope for the Japanese economy after all.]

The Deserted Seaside


[note: the song is depressing, but this is not an indication of my life or mood, simply the fact that I liked the song enough to prep it for my reading class. I have a DVD with an excellent live performance, but this one has escaped collection on the various video sites. I suppose there’s a torrent out there of the Folk Songs 3 concert, but it’s probably unseeded, and I wouldn’t link to it anyway. Here is the only performance youtube has, which is probably closer to the original arrangement than the one I like.]

[I’ll add pop-up furigana for the kanji later.]

誰もいない海

作詞:山口洋子 作曲:内藤法美

今はもう秋
誰もいない海
知らん顔して
人がゆきすぎても
私は忘れない
海に約束したから
つらくても
つらくても
死にはしないと

It’s already autumn, at the deserted seaside. Although he walks past like I’m not there, I will not forget, because I made a promise to the sea, “Even if it’s heart-breaking, even if it’s heart-breaking, I will not die.”

今はもう秋
誰もいない海
たった一つの
夢が破れても
私は忘れない
砂に約束したから
淋しくても
淋しくても
死にはしないと

It’s already autumn, at the deserted seaside. Although my only dream is torn apart, I will not forget, because I made a promise to the sand, “Even if I’m lonely, even if I’m lonely, I will not die.”

今はもう秋
誰もいない海
いとしい面影
帰らなくても
私は忘れない
空に約束したから
ひとりでも
ひとりでも
死にはしないと

It’s already autumn, at the deserted seaside. Although that beloved face will not return, I will not forget, because I made a promise to the sky, “Even if I’m alone, even if I’m alone, I will not die.”

ひとりでも
ひとりでも
死にはしないと

“Even if I’m alone, even if I’m alone, I will not die.”

Cheernurse: The Revenge


Horrified by the sight of an under-Bedazzled idol, a Senior Fashion Eliminator rushes to the scene, determined to show these two yokels How It’s Done.

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“Need a clue, take a clue,
 got a clue, leave a clue”