An unrelated post on Mad Genius Club suddenly reminded me of my first catgirl crush:

My incurable case of Feline Fever goes back more than four decades.

It was late, I was bored, and Wild Wild West was free on Amazon Prime video. I vaguely remembered that it was… “less than good” (and not “so bad it’s good”), but also that it prominently featured the delectable Salma Hayek.

How did so many talented people manage to commit such a dreadful train wreck?

Okay, there’s the claim that producer Jon Peters tries to get a giant mechanical spider into all of his films.

And the gang-bang rewrites of the script.

And the last-minute reshoots to “clarify” the fact that it was supposed to be a comedy.

And that Kevin Kline “considered himself too good of an actor for the finished product”, despite a lack of evidence for this in his performance.

And Will Smith’s admission that giving up the lead role in The Matrix for this was his worst career decision ever.

And the decision to use the original series theme in only one scene.

And Kenneth Branagh attempting Frank N Furter levels of campiness.

Hmmm, I think I’m answering my own question here…

(via)

Over the weekend, I made a second run through Sakura Dungeon to try to unlock a few achievements and screenshots I’d missed. This included increasing the difficulty level, but that didn’t make the fights more difficult, just more tedious, so I soon started using console cheats to buff my characters, and skipped through most fights (press “S”, then “A”) and all the dialog I’d seen in my first run (“S” again). I couldn’t bypass the puzzles, but most of them can be navigated quickly with maps; level 12/13 and level 15 are still really annoying, though.

Once the console is enabled, you can do all sorts of cheating, but the method that has the least risk of breaking the game is to use just two commands, repeated as necessary:

for i in party: i.xp=99
player.items.append(elixir)

Setting xp=99 means that everyone in your party will level-up during the next fight (eliminating a lot of tedious grinding), and adding an elixir to your inventory will revive and heal anyone who’s down after a fight (allowing you to only return to the surface when you find a teleporter, eliminating a lot of tedious navigation through cleared floors).

Basically, even on normal mode you need to grind wandering monsters to get your level high enough to handle bosses (who will one-shot party members ~5 levels below them), so any enjoyment I got out of the simple combat system was gone well before I beat the main campaign, and I had no interest in grinding even more on “hard”, so I made sure my party was always a level or so ahead of the monsters.

I now have 34 of 37 achievements, and I’m not going to bother with the other three, because they are: grind more monsters, go through the main campaign on really-hard mode, and grind even more monsters.

The Steam global achievement page for the game says a lot about how much people liked the dungeon-crawling:

• 20% didn’t finish level 1 (“never played the game”)
• 25% didn’t finish level 2 (first boss)
• 45% didn’t finish level 4 (unlock Sylvi)
• 60% didn’t finish level 8 (unlock Yomi)
• 73% didn’t finish level 14 (unlock Maeve)
• 81% didn’t finish level 21 (milk for Anubis)
• 85% didn’t finish level 27 (the main campaign)
• 89% didn’t finish the short bonus campaign (defeat Hiriko)
• 91% didn’t defeat the extra boss (Izanami)

That is, they didn’t. Basically, half of the people who played at all stopped around 1/4 into the main campaign, and half of the remaining players dropped out by the 3/4 mark. Obviously this is skewed a bit by recent purchases, but the game’s over a year old, so it should be in the ballpark.

(note that the “Burning Soul” achievement is rare not because it’s difficult, but because it’s broken unless you’re playing the 1.05 “beta”, which has never been made the official version because of Winged Cloud’s breakup with their former publishers. If you play, play 1.05)

“No, but I’d kiss his redheaded clone sisters.”

I think your birth certificate, government ID, and passport should have a mandatory field containing the letters P or C.

No, not that P & C. Prostate and Cervix, to determine which cancer you’re susceptible to. No matter what “identity” you claim, this is information you and your doctors will need at some point in your life, and it’s dangerous to pretend otherwise (like the recent nonsense in Canada).

Update

Gosh golly wow, I’m already behind the times on this. It seems the Teen Vogue guide to anal sex (no, seriously) divides its recommendations into “prostate owner” and “non-prostate owner” to avoid the unacceptably accurate “male” and “female”.

The just-released SF anthology Straight Outta Tombstone has a lot of good stories in it, with a nice mix of authors. Good to see Phil Foglio working in prose again, and I particularly liked the fact that Jim Butcher’s story isn’t one of his usual “you’ll need to read this to understand the next Harry Dresden novel” (which is often used to sell anthologies full of stories I’m not interested in…).

As is usual for Baen, the first two stories can be read for free here.

My leftovers folder was getting overstuffed, so I found a few pictures with two things in common.

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