Literal Dream Girl Elf Waifu, episode 7

“Thank you for your service, Miss Elf”

As part of preparing for The Big Dungeon Crawl, Our Sleepy-Eyed Hero talks Our Overheated Elf Maiden into trying the local fashions, which cool her off by exposing a lot more skin. Other than that, the most important thing that happens is that witnessing a postpartum tantrum leads him to accidentally invite Our Stressed-Out Dragon Mama to come to Japan for their cozy couple’s hot-springs trip. There’s some random drama involving a villainous sorcerer wearing anachronistic sunglasses (sigh), but it’s unlikely to disrupt the mood for long.

(plot note: Dragon Mama laments the fact that her husband isn’t there to take care of her and the kids, but later events reveal that their relationship was never what you’d call healthy)

Verdict: some fun LoL moments to break up an otherwise exposition-heavy episode.

The Apothecary Diaries 2, episode 7

This week, a self-contained mystery interlude which drops hints the size of boulders about Jinshi’s true identity. Which Maomao very carefully ignores the implications of. Also some LoLs, showing off the emperor’s playful side.

Verdict: I loved the precision with which the emperor judged Maomao’s figure.

Hammer Of The Guild Gal, episode 7

Aw, hell, they switched the credits around again, which means they’re using the cuteness to apologize in advance for an episode full of tonal whiplash.

And sure enough, that’s exactly what they do, mixing Sad Loli Healer’s backstory with Triumphant Receptionist’s Festival Date with Expository Asshole’s unexpected discovery of Another Dark God Plot Coupon. We even get to see someone blow themselves up to further darken the plot.

Verdict: sigh, this show is a complete mess, and we don’t even get any bath scenes as compensation.

(very little fan-art for this show, so this half-baked LoRA will have to do; it’s got a lot of issues, but will occasionally generate just one girl, optionally with just one magic staff)

I’ve decided that the goofy transforming-robot boss-fight bit in the OP is meant to be symbolic conquest of the stress that led to his death, with the gals fighting for his slow-life happiness.

Setting that aside, last week’s crisis is resolved quickly, making room for Our Besotted Busty Blonde to show up and give Our Shopping Hero the stick for running off, followed by the carrot cherry. Once they’ve sealed the deal, she moves in, despite some friction with the catgirl, the loli, and the cat. Nice to have two hot gals fighting to get into your bed and your tub, but the cock-blocking loli is a problem.

Verdict: time to expand the house with another bedroom and some soundproofing. Maybe some nice asbestos and a sprinkler system.

Fun with emergency dentistry…

The fix for my post-op gum infection was to drill a hole in the back of the temporary bridge, clean it out without anesthesia, and then send me home with antibiotics and a syringe to flush out the hole three times a day until my next appointment in two weeks. Shame the bridge only lasted one week before breaking into tiny pieces thanks to the hole, sending me back in on Wednesday to get another one. Everything was healed up enough for them to make a 3D scan for the permanent bridge, but not enough to install it until the end of March, so I have a new temporary. Without a hole in it. For now.

Naturally while the doc was fixing me up again, it snowed enough to make it difficult to get up my driveway.

…and another batch of snow overnight, sigh.

Apple Intelygenz

The only device I am currently capable of running the alpha-test “Apple Intelligence” feature (ApplAI? iAI? I’ll just call it Applint) on is my iPad Air. I could upgrade the OS on my Mac to get it, but I like my main computer to be reliable, and Apple’s shoddy QA the last N years has led me to stay at least one major release behind for as long as possible.

Anyway, Applint shares a feature toggle with Siri, a feature I turned off 14 years ago and don’t want back, so the first thing I had to do was manually disable all the methods of activating Siri. Then I had to manually toggle off “allow Siri/Applint to learn from” for each and every app installed on the device, one by one.

It’s opt-in by default, y’see, so I’ll have to manually disable it for any new apps I install after today. If I had it on more than one device, I’d have to repeat the same remarkably tedious process there as well.

With that out of the way, I was left with one new piece of functionality: the Playground image-generation app. TL/DR: it’s toy garbage.

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“This isn’t a boss fight, it’s an escort quest!” Yeah, I feel ya, Hero; we’ve all been there. It sucks.

Mid-fight, Our Crushing Crusher finishes changing into her mismatched spare gear just in time to protect the squishy NPC, and they manage to trigger the next stage of the questline. Which splits them up and drops them into an exposition-heavy underwater city. Next week, will the PoV switch to other players, or will we stick with Our Half-Naked Birdman for a while?

Verdict: not sure why they didn’t call the sirens sirens, but whatever. Hopefully things pick up as the party reunites. But they can’t finish the entire sub-sea arc this season, so will they switch over to the other-game tournament soon?

(definitely not Rei’s spare armor…)

A Wild Cybertruck Appears!

I’ve seen a few at a distance, but I finally got to see one close up. Unfortunately it was in front of me in the drive-through at Rally’s, in the middle of the night, so all I can really say is that it must have been a bitch to get a decent paint job on all those sharp corners, something that will stand up to heavily-salted winter roads.

Which reminds me that when I moved to Silicon Valley, I was amazed how good ten-year-old cars looked compared to Ohio…

(Truck-kun meets his nemesis)

Speaking of which, 3-4 inches of snow

…which isn’t going to clear itself off my driveway in the next week.

Rather than hunting through my archives for vaguely-relevant cheesecake, I took advantage of the new trend for creating LoRAs instead of 3D skins or actual fan-art.

The Three Behemoths, episode 8

Did we really need to get so in-your-face with Hard Gay And His Cut-Rate Chippendale’s Revue? It is the exact opposite of what this show is pitching to the audience.

Anyway, Our Catsexual Harem buys a house that should be way out of their price range, but is cheap because it has a giant harem-sized bath that nobody else wanted, complete with jacuzzi function. Right, that’s exactly how property values work, but since it leads to more nipplicious nudity, we’ll just run with it.

Our Two Faeries not only reveal that they’re capable in battle (but seriously, wash the pixie afterwards), but they ever-so-casually increase the property value by several orders of magnitude by magically landscaping the yard to add a super-duper magic tree and an uber-potion magic pond. I’m sure those will come in handy about as quickly as that truth potion did, meaning “next week”.

Meanwhile, hints about Our Braless Cat-Blacksmith-nya’s secrets are delivered with the subtlety of her giant hammer. Plus equally-subtle hints about how intimately detailed her catsexual dreams have become.

The adventure portion of the episode is pretty trivial, and can be summed up with “hey we all make a great team”, but it loosely ties in with the larger story arc introduced at the end, where Monsters Are Stirring, and Our Boobalicious Heroine’s Even More Boobalicious Idol delivers a mildly ominous line.

Verdict: this show is driven entirely by coincidence and catsexuality, combining to summon bath scenes.

(I tried to combine the Myaley and Vulcan LoRAs for a catgirl party, but they did not play nicely together, so I used the full-cast Behemoth LoRA (NSFW sample images) instead; getting two gals into the picture was easy, but keeping their characteristics from crossing over was not. I got a lot of pics where one or both had elf and cat ears, as well as many where Vulcan was the busty one, Aria was tan, their faces were blended together, etc, etc)

Solo Leveling 2, episode 7

This week’s special is… reaction shots! Our Solo Hero comes out of the closet as an S-rank hunter for the sole purpose of finally being able to buy and sell high-end loot at the auction house, but first we get quick shots of everyone’s reaction to the news. Including all the women who like him, but who for some reason don’t show up at his home to cover his bed in squee juice and torn lingerie. In fact, the only person who does show up is Our Newly Homeless Sidekick (who’d make a cute couple with Our Hot Little Sister, although he’d better ask nicely due to her new protectors).

They kept the shopping trip brief in order to get Jinwoo back to his secret dungeon, and on the eightieth floor we get our first look at an armored demon knight smart enough and tough enough to repeatedly wipe out most of his shadow soldiers. Next week they fight, and you know what that means, right?

Verdict: finally.

(I’ve already used all the half-decent fan-art of Esil, so it’s LoRA time! I won’t even add tentacles… this time. This is the same LoRA I used earlier that is fragile about facial details, and with some models turns into nightmare fuel)

A-Rank Dungeon Harem, episode 6

Dude, could you wife your Legal Loli any harder?

But first, let’s talk about Our Harem Party’s first-floor adventure. We don’t get any sort of training montage with Our Tasty Half-Clad Catgirl, but she fits right into the party as if Our Mighty Guild Elf picked her out specifically for compatibility, which of course she did. Unlike the rest of the gang, we get to see her before she falls head-over-heels for Our Hero, but I’m sure that won’t take long. And of course she’ll be moving in.

On their way back to the surface, they run into The Bozo Party, which has added two new spear-carriers to their ever-growing attitude problem, but in addition to Our Little Blonde Titty-Witch continuing to show growth and remorse, we finally see Their Dickhead Leader get called on his bullshit. Y’see, he forgot the first lesson of bullying: never shit-talk when you’re on camera. The second rule would be never double down when your boss is chewing you out for it. Seriously, is Simon just out of his tiny little mind? This has gone way beyond obsessing over his failures since Yuke left the party, and it actively reduces the show’s quality.

He’s not out of the story yet, unfortunately, because he meets up with That Fat Leering Bastard, and they begin plotting revenge.

Verdict: please rescue the titty-witch and drop the rest of the Bozos in an inferno, the sooner the better.

(yeah, no good fan-art, so back to the cast LoRA, and since Rain unlocked a major achievement this week, she’s in the picture; really had a problem with extra fingers, though)

Dear vendors,

Please stop trying to do holiday tie-ins for unrelated product lines. I’m looking at you, North American Rescue, with your “Cupid is on the Hunt!” email campaign that’s offering the limited-edition Valentine’s LUV-SAK Kit, 30% off with the LOVEME coupon code.

It’s a fucking tourniquet.

Meanwhile, on DoorDash…

They were offering fast delivery of Valentine gifts from appropriate local retailers, like Dick’s Sporting Goods, Best Buy, JD Sports, Michaels, Victoria’s Secret, and David’s Bridal. Also offering special dinner deals from BJ’s, Victor’s Taco Shop, and Chick-fil-A. Yup, that should cover most polycules.

(my driver was openly carrying; welcome back, America)

Literal Dream Girl Elf Waifu, episode 6

The only thing wrong with this week’s slice-of-waifu episode is that we didn’t get a bath scene. Our Librarian Neighbor is a cutie, and has some fun interactions with her husband, but they’re clearly suspicious about the cover story. This will matter later.

Meanwhile, Our Uber Dragon Momma’s eggs are hatching, and she’s thinking about Our Crossworld Couple. This will matter later.

Verdict: I could watch multiple cute-waifu-doing-cute-things episodes in a row, but it makes a particularly nice Valentine’s Day episode.

The Apothecary Diaries 2, episode 6

This week, Maomao gets hired to solve The Case Of The Missing Servant Girl. The head of the secret women’s clinic wants her to make medicine for a possibly-contagious illness, but the sick girl’s gone missing. Unraveling this small mystery advances two major plot arcs.

Hammer Of The Guild Gal, episode 6

Oh, sure; take Our Savage Busty Receptionist out to a beach, but the closest we get to bikini fan-service is a panned still of Our Stalkery Tank’s imagination. Our Legal-Loli Healer looks cute playing in the water, but it’s not the same.

Of course we have to whiplash the mood, with Loli’s PTSD kicking in when Our Bestest Party goes undercover to catch the rumormongers and brings along Our Ragemonster Heroine, who sucks at undercover. Even Our Cuddly Little Junior Receptionist drops an ominous line that foreshadows future doom.

Verdict: my neck hurts again.

Unrelated Astroturfing

My old Central California phone number got a text asking me to attend a “voice for the voiceless” rally in Dayton to save democracy. For or from whom, they didn’t say, nor is there any indication of why someone in Birmingham Alabama would be organizing events in Dayton Ohio.

The expression is sometimes used by anti-abortion groups, but they’re not generally associated with pro-democracy marches on President’s Day, so I suspect there’s someone hoping to create “organic” crowds of vaguely-frustrated protestors. Probably worried about losing their USAID funding.

Ultimate Unicorn Chaser

Big Boobs Japan has a roundup of photoshoots featuring the prettiest anime voice actress ever to take it all off for the camera, Kanori Kadomatsu (NSFW, obviously, and you should disable Javascript).

(I’ve mentioned her here before; still looks hot and fresh at 51 on her Twitter feed, and still does the occasional voice work, showing up in a few episodes of Hammer Of The Guild Gal this season)

Slow life with cat, girl, and catgirl; as expected, it didn’t take long for Our Blue Furry-Boobed Cuddly Catgirl to show up, although the artists seem to have forgotten that he gave her a modern bow. Our Shopping Hero is led to believe that Blondie is marrying the knight who helped out in the rescue mission, which doesn’t seem to bother him at all, due to that whole “you’re too young for me” spiel that’s never stopped him from banging any other chick.

Naturally, Blue moves in with them. Naturally, she jumps him as soon as New Daughter is off reading, in a don’t-bother-buying-the-bluray offscreen dalliance. We also get to meet an extra-qualified guild gal who catches Our Shopping Hero’s eye by using up several weeks of Gainaxing budget, make some new friends, and get mixed up with bandits who seem to have stolen their hair from a school-gang show.

Verdict: artificial crisis is artificial. Also, Myaley improves every scene she’s in.

(No new fan-art to speak of. Fortunately, the paint’s barely dry on a LoRA for this show; it also includes Orange Catgirl based on her appearance in the credits and previews, and the sample images get multiple gals into bed. Sadly, it is not well-trained on Myaley’s furry nudity, and usually either overwrites her light-purple belly fur with the overall body color or gives her human skin from nipples to crotch. Also occasionally gives her a purple cat face. Needs more training material, which this week’s episode supplies.)

I was dinking around with dynamic prompts for Stable Diffusion again, and at one point ended up getting a robotic catgirl. This seemed like a fine idea, so I stripped it down to the basics and tried to build back up into a specific look. I was getting reasonably consistent results with one model, but it was weak on backgrounds. TL/DR, I ended up running the same prompt and seed through 64 models because I wasn’t able to get all the elements at the same time: clearly robotic body, metal skin and face, metal cat ears and tail, pretty face, sexy figure, naughty bits covered, interesting background, requested pose.

So I ran the exact same prompt and seed through 64 models:

4k, crisp, high budget, highly detailed, intricate, ultra textured.
photorealistic, hyper realistic, ((robot girl)) at ((Towering spires
of glass piercing a sea of swirling mist)). ((robot face)), ((silver
metal skin)), ((silver metal face)), ((metal hair)), tiny breasts,
silver metal cat tail, black metal cat ears, full body, teen height,
teen face, teen body, wearing ((black metal corset bodysuit)), ((black
metal stockings)), ((black metal long gloves)), ((black metal collar))
with ((glowing crystal bell)). Cross-legged on floor, hands on knees,
upright posture, calm and collected with a cheerful expression.

I tried to bias it toward a slender look with “teen face/body/height” and “tiny breasts” (which generally produces B-C instead of D-H). I moved the location to the beginning because I kept getting just floors and solid-color backgrounds with the occasional generic room interior. Repeating the colors for each item helps to keep them from bleeding into other elements, but, as usual, doesn’t always work.

Anything XL

Definitely a catgirl, mostly-correct costuming, matte silver skin except for neck and eyes, plausibly robotic arms and legs, terrible tail (fur, broken), robot cat-ears, cute face, sleek little body, appealing pose but doesn’t match the prompt, nice background that matches prompt.

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As expected, Ninja Gal and Crushing Crusher got dragged into the secret quest because they were still in Our Half-Naked Hero’s party. Bringing the funny, Rei accepted completely by accident, leading to a WTF she’s going to struggle to explain to her sister later.

Once the poorly-integrated CGI sailing begins, we get some brief downtime before… 🎶 It’s beginning to look a lot like fishmen 🎶 (classical reference)

Verdict: Rust’s SLF character design is growing on me and Akane is just wide-eyed and cuddly, providing a nice change of pace from Sunraku’s usual party. Sadly, I already know that Rei’s costume change will not put her into high-level bikini armor. Or this:

Dear Apple,

So how is it that Apple Music can’t grasp the concept of repeating the same song, even though the Mac Music.app has explicit controls featuring this functionality, which you just turn off after the song ends? Oh, you broke the fuck out of it while prioritizing iOS apps and recurring revenue, and don’t have competent QA teams any more? Gosh, I’m stunned to hear that.

By the way, you have shit-tier auto-generated lyrics in your paid-subscription library. No wonder you disable copy-paste functionality.

(loosely relevant if you remember the beginning of the second Squad Jam…)

Anyway, I was feeling doggerel-y again…

(with apologies to The Partridge Family)

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