“I wish I could dive into you.”

“I wish I could dive into you, too.”

I wish you’d move things a bit faster, like not starting the episode off by having the camera linger on two spear-carriers, and then cutting from Hero to Heroine with a really long scene transition. There’s letting the story breathe, and then there’s padding out the runtime.

Also the bad CGI explanation of “The Laws Of Respect” is going to be a regular intro? That’s 20 seconds of nonsense added to the credits that we could do without.

This week, Our Cyber Cops chase down an escaped villain into Retro Country, where everyone lives offline to the point of having dial telephones, providing some convenient isolation to make the plot work. The resulting confrontation is painfully awkward; have Our Heroes ever watched a police drama?

After that, everyone arrives at the correct place with precise timing, which is pretty impressive since Our Girl Detective was choked out, tied up, and left behind with a severely damaged car, and didn’t even contact anyone once she was back online. It took the power of sheer coincidence for her to show up just in time for the final confrontation (next week).

Verdict: this takes itself more seriously than the material deserves. I’ll give it another week, but I’m not really feeling it.

(Great Detective Chika is unrelated)

Don’t think I’ve told this story before…

During our 2022 Japan trip, my sister and I ate at Kyoto’s Hanaroku teppanyaki restaurant several times. Their amazing A5 wagyu is served with a tiny dish of sea salt, just right for sprinkling on top.

It’s really good salt, with a distinctive texture. My sister asked the waiter about it, and he came back from the kitchen with the words “tango salt”. Some quick googling revealed this to be sea salt harvested on the Tango Peninsula north of Kyoto.

I texted her the kanji and the search began. Grocery stores, gift shops, gourmet shops, Amazon Japan, etc. By the time we made it back to her place in Chicago, she’d bought at least half a dozen different types of salt, looking for that distinctive texture (which the restaurant had helpfully supplied a sample of…).

As I was packing up to drive back to Ohio, she gave me one of the bags from Amazon, and said “I think this one is the closest.” I immediately pointed at the sticker in the upper-left corner that read, in English, “TangoGoodGoods”; she’d found it without realizing it.

I’m reminded of this because the last time she was in Japan for work, she picked up more for both of us. And now the weather is right for grilling steaks.

I’m not springing for wagyu, though. That’s a post-lottery retirement thing.

Speaking of Japan,

A while back my sister was chatting with two friends who were planning a trip to Japan, and they asked her for advice. She pulled up the Trello board we use as a trip planner and emailed them a long list of possibilities: hotels, shopping, restaurants, sights, random fun things, etc.

Fast-forward to their return, and they called her to rave about the country and her recommendations. When she asked what they’d done, their answer was “everything; everything on your list”.

[not sure why this disappeared for a while; some sort of glitch in the Hugo run when I added a sidebar link]

This takes a while to show up, because torrents.

“They say it’s better the second time,
they say you get to do the weird stuff.”

Chorus: “We do the weird stuff!”
(classical reference)

First, we meet a female classmate who likes to draw Boy’s Love porn. I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of her, if not all of her. Then Our Socially-Inept Sexbot attempts to bully Our Socially-Inept Otaku into mounting her, before revealing that she doesn’t know any more about sex than he does. Not only are the details not covered in her programming, she’s got a built-in obscenity filter on her eyeballs, so the best she can do is talk about it… with the girl who’s into BL. This has led to some confusion.

Frustrated in her attempts to fill in the gaps in her knowledge as well as the ones in her fleshlike covering, she bullies him into keeping her secret, letting her move in, and accepting the position as her “owner”. She doesn’t have a place of her own any more because of the mysterious explosion that damaged her last week, which is also the reason she doesn’t have any clothes. Pretty sure there will be a lingerie-and-school-uniform delivery service showing up next week, accompanied by long, lingering shots of her body. Admittedly, most of the show is already long, lingering shots of her body.

The credits show that her bullying is just the tip of the iceberg, with BL-Loving Gal going after him with a stun-gun and Loli roughly going after her. Science Gal And Her Amazing Friends had a brief appearance last week as someone who might end up hiring Our Hero for his tech-nerd potential, but for some reason she’s dressed up like a cosplay merc in the credits.

Verdict: I have no idea where this is going to end up, but at only 12 minutes per episode (minus standard-length credits), it’s at least not wearing out its welcome. Boy Wonder needs to adjust to his new life soon, though, so the freakouts can be replaced by more fan-service and wacky hijinks. There have been too many shows where the freakouts never end, and I’ve been deeply scarred.

Side note: the Japanese title is “Kakushite! Makina-san!!”, in kana with no kanji. There are two possible interpretations of the first word: “thus” or “hide (something)”. The episode titles so far are of the form “Kakushite, Makina-san wa …”, suggesting the “thus” usage, but the plot, such as it is, is about keeping her non-organic nature hidden.

(I don’t expect any competent fan-art for this one, so here’s some Mina)

“Please don’t tell my fans I have a Patreon”

Author Richard Roberts, whose Young Adult novels are quite entertaining, abandoned his Twitter account, stopped updating his blog, rarely updates his Tumblr, and left the dead-site links on his Amazon author page. However, he turns out to be mildly active on Bluesky, and recently mentioned the Patreon account he set up in February, which he’s posting story updates on (including his horny new sf/magic barely-legal space cadets novel).

I’m currently the only patron.

Related, I just opened Apple Books for the first time

Accidentally, since I clicked on a .epub file expecting Calibre to open, but now that I’ve seen it, I’ll never open it again. Holy jumping trouser frogs, what a terrible reading experience. First it insists on two-column mode (hiding single-column view under “accessibility”), then it dynamically reflows lines based on window width with no regard for sensible line length or spacing, and it doesn’t support a flowing, non-paginated mode. Not that Calibre’s built-in viewer is anything to read home about, but Apple actually sells books through this crap.

I haven’t found a good epub reader for Mac yet, but I’ve found a number of bad ones!

This week, Our “Powerless” OP Hero goes looking for work and picks up two men. Literally. Meanwhile, First and Second Waifu gather with Our Oddly-Dressed Mage and Our Well-Displayed Atelier to exposit about the nominal plot and come up with an excuse for the waifus to spend all their time with him.

Kurt’s new temp job is hauling loot for a small adventuring party that gets in way over their heads, and he breaks the cutie by taking out three massive iron golems, treating it as a mining problem instead of combat. Having seen too much, they swiftly get recruited into the exclusive club of Defenders Of Kurt’s Delusions.

Bonus points for a brief but timely appearance by The Mysterious Bandana And Her Faithful Bandana.

Verdict: I don’t think we’ve even come close to Peak OP yet. In fact, I’m sure we haven’t. Will this become a complete trainwreck? Stay tuned!

(no fan-art to speak of yet, so I’ll just put a loving waifu here)

Unhappy with this season? Bad news…

What’s been announced for summer so far is worse. The only things I’m willing to watch on this list are Call Of The Night 2 and Kaiju No. 8 2. Even the trashy harem shows are weak, with Private Tutor To The Duke’s Daughter exceeding the statutory limit for loli haremettes, with a ridiculously OP lead who constantly insists he’s weak before busting out never-before-seen magics.

There appears to be only one obvious kicked-out-of-the-hero-party show so far, where the biggest departure from the usual format is that the shy busty mage gal with underrim glasses is fully dressed. Real curveball there. The trailer wastes no time recruiting Our Underconfident Hero into a new party through the power of a manic pixie half-dressed twintail S-rank adventure gal. I’m heartily sick of this genre, but I kind of fear the thought of what will replace it.

Advantage: Trump

So, right after Apple spends a fortune flying planeloads of iDevices into the country to beat the new tariffs, Trump announces that they’re exempt from the new tariffs.

Meanwhile, every “market expert” explanation for what the stock market did last week has been contradicted by the next day’s explanation.

Tomorrow Never Dies:

Admiral: “What the hell is he doing?”

M: “His job.”

Slime-Killing Witch 2, episode 2

Crunchyroll initially posted this without the subs, producing what may be the easiest-to-understand raw ever. Basically, if you can pick out one word in ten, both of the stories make perfect sense. The subs, when they finally showed up, were disappointing in one respect, botching the home-security hikikomori trope.

First up, Our Slime-Spirit Daughters get invited to a gathering of spirits. Our Ever-Seventeen Witch Mama tags along as chaperone, dispelling some rumors and learning a few things that will come in handy soon, before spending the night with One Hot Wet Momma Spirit. Not that way, sadly.

Second, Best Girl Beelzebub makes her first appearance of the season, soliciting assistance to track down a rogue undead. After her cunning plan fails, Our Witch remembers the rumors she just coincidentally learned the night before and leads the Scooby Gang straight to the target. Who turns out to be a cute busty catgirl gamer gal who was such a shut-in that she ended up dying of laziness, and was delighted to turn into a creature of the night that perfectly fits her lifestyle.

Verdict: fun and fluff delivered. Also, lazy undead catgirl is surprisingly well-groomed.

Bumpkin & Harem, episode 2

Our Fourth Haremette has combined her sword skills with a natural talent for magic, but the big news is that A Wild Legal Loli Appears. But first, the secret origin of Thirsty McWhiteHair, whose professional admiration for Our Rural Hero is genuine, but is thoroughly mixed with her deep tingling sensations. Honestly, the others haven’t shown any signs of wanting to get horizontal yet, while she seems to be planning out how many babies they should have. He is still completely oblivious to all this, of course.

Anyway, Legal Loli isn’t one of the listed haremettes, but she’s Number Four’s boss, and wants to try him out to see if he’s as awesome as claimed. With a sword, that is. For now. Given the glimpse we get up her skirt, she may not be all business.

Verdict: it’s kind of weird to see him teach Japanese-style swordsmanship with European straight swords, but I guess you draw what you know. Girls still cute, show not shouty, and his voice seems to work better for the role than it did in the trailers, or else he’s growing on me.

(swordsbunnygal is unrelated, all grown up)

A-Rank Adventure Harem, episode 13

So, we get some new eye candy in supporting roles, but the character art of Our Harem Party is off about half the time, including in Our Legal Loli Healer’s cuddling event that she must have had needed new panties after. Meanwhile, the world-saving plot continues, with a bunch of exposition while everyone drops their guard inside the dungeon, sigh.

Verdict: it hasn’t failed hard enough for me to drop it yet, but the main girls are the only thing holding it together, and Jamie’s still not here. Seriously, if this is supposed to be a do-or-die save-the-world quest, does detention really matter?

(I decided to help Rain make her wish come true)

Unrelated,

Why does X’s “for you” mode repeat the same damn tweet a dozen times a day? Also, how lazy do you have to be to generate a cartoon slut pic that looks literally 1000 times worse than the worst thing I’ve generated with Stable Diffusion. And I’m including total failures like this:

(side note: the Brave browser deletes both ads and phony thots from xTwitter, so they show up for a few seconds and then disappear)

Speaking of image generation…

Mina is based.

Visual jokes can be really hard to set up in Stable Diffusion. I just wanted a grinning Mina Ashido with her legs open, holding out a box of baking soda. When I finally got tired of pictures full of carbonated beverages and baked goods, I took those words out of the prompt and kept going until I had a half-decent yellow box, and then just Photoshopped the text in.

Bonus: exact same prompt, but this one turned out hilarious.

[note to self: design a complete Japanese product label with the kanji for baking soda (炭酸, “tansan”) and perhaps some appropriate emoji for the blackboard]

Back to the fry!

The only chains in my area advertising tallow-fried fries are the aforementioned Steak & Shake, Outback Steakhouse, and Buffalo Wild Wings. There may be some non-chain sources, but I haven’t seen them yet. Since I don’t have any regular TV service, I won’t know unless they drop an ad in my mailbox.

(“Dear Google, when I search for something ‘near Miamisburg, Ohio’, tokenizing it and giving me results for Miami, Florida is not helpful”; “also, your AI summary only mentions Steak & Shake, as if there were no alternatives”)

Best thing since sliced bread

The only downside is that it sometimes leads to me eating an entire pineapple while standing at the kitchen counter.

Okay, so with most of the premieres out of the way, I’ve got a cheesy power fantasy harem (Clueless Crafter) and an over-the-top extra-cheesy manic-pixie-busty-robo-dream-girl (Robo-Ho) on Sundays, one robo-buddy-cop memory-diving not-romance (I, Forma) on Wednesdays, Maomao on Fridays, three fantasy harems on Saturdays (Bumpkin, A-Rank, and the platonic Slime-Killing Witch), and… that’s it.

The subtitled version of Lazarus is a month away and not on any service I subscribe to, and even if I get desperate, Delusional Space Virgin shot its wad in the first week and won’t show up again for another two weeks. I could try to watch Moonrise on Netflix (all 18 episodes are apparently available now), but what little I get from the trailers is a mashup of bad shonen tropes, a really-poor-man’s Moon Is A Harsh Mistress from the wrong PoV, and poor character naming. Seriously, the leader of the lunar revolution is a cyborg badass warrior named “Bob Skylum”. And the “good guys” keep shouting out this name, including Our Hero, Jake Shadow. (wince)

How AI will win

The Apothecary Diaries 2, episode 14

Maomao gets the ghost story and Jinshi gets the handsome new eunuch, while bigger mysteries stir in the background. Poor little Lishu gets a small measure of justice, while sweet Xaiolan gets in trouble. No sign of Shisui this week, but her big moment is coming up fast.

Pretty soon I’m going to have to put anything I say behind spoiler tags, for the sake of those who aren’t current on this season.

Unrelated, Steak & Shake asked me for my opinion…

…so I told them: switching to beef tallow doesn’t magically convert tasteless soggy fries into gold, and also they have the worst burger and hotdog buns in the industry. The shake wasn’t bad, though.

Speaking of food

Well, which is it?

I feel so secure…

I’m currently going through the end-of-lease experience with the Kia Sorento I picked up the day I moved back to Ohio. I’d always gone with the standard purchase financing, but in April 2022 we were in the middle of the Biden/Fauci supply-chain disaster, and there were only a handful of new cars available within 20 miles. I didn’t want to commit to it long-term or tie up too much money, so I went with a three-year lease.

I’d been driving Toyotas for decades, but there were none at local dealerships. The Kia dealer down the street had exactly two Sorentos on the lot, with the dark blue one having better specs and features.

TL/DR: the only thing I didn’t like about the car was that I’d been spoiled by my last Camry’s continuously-variable transmission. Other than that, it’s been great, and the back seats are so comfortable for adults that my mother actually prefers sitting back there; her limited mobility doesn’t interfere with getting in and out, and it’s comfortable for a long ride.

So instead of trading it in on a new one, I just paid off the balance of the lease. From their finance website, I had to use Docusign to confirm the odometer reading. Which opened in a tiny mobile-sized frame that I couldn’t break out of, so instead of reading the legal document in a large browser window, I had to zoom and pan around the tiny frame to make sure everything was sane.

The next day, I received an email that looked a bit scammy, with a low-res company logo, some unloadable images, and a “click here to read a secure message” button. Clicking takes you to an Office365 page that’s missing half the graphics and asks you to click a button to send you an access code by email that will let you read your message.

It was legit, but the entire content of the un-downloadable, un-copyable, un-printable email was just “yup, we reviewed your lease buyout request, and we’re working on the title”. No account numbers, dollar amounts, or personal information that would justify the cumbersome process.

This is the Microsoft Office 365 “secure mail” experience, and it’s a horrible anti-pattern. The goal is to make it easy to “securely” send “encrypted” messages to anyone without any sort of password or key exchange, but the result is encouraging people to blindly click links in random unsolicited emails and then click links on the random broken site they send you to. This is the exact same pattern used by criminals for identity theft and malware. Blech.

(seatcovers cost extra)

Fun note: despite the shortages, I ended up getting a nice discount on the Sorento when I leased it. As I said, they had exactly two on the lot, and the dealer grabbed both sets of keys when we went out to check them out. I said I wanted the blue one, so he handed me the keys, and while my brother and I took it for a test drive, he went inside to start the paperwork. With the keys he had in his other hand.

I signed everything and paid the deposit, and the next morning they realized the paperwork had the VIN for the other car. So they called me to come down and sign an amendment, but they had to eat the price difference.

Oh, good, let’s start off with all the cheesy CGI exposition we skipped last week. While they’re reciting Not The Three Laws, I’ll throw in a note that the character designer added leggings to her uniform; on the light-novel covers, her legs are bare under her short-shorts, like all good Interpol agents. Also, she’s 19, so she gets a pass for not being the hardened detective she poses as.

But how is the story proceeding? Well, we’ve got a Mad Scientist claiming Her Finest Creations are true AIs (which according to OpenAI means “profitable” and according to this show means “sapient”), a suspect who’s been ruled out with an axe, a team that’s been pulled off the case, and some sitting around talking about plot coupons.

The good news is that once we reach the halfway point, things start happening. On a technical note, when Our Spunky Heroine’s cyber implant boots up, it’s running Linux kernel 2.2.18 with a VGA console and a PS/2 mouse. Also, Our Mysterious Villain couldn’t have flipped his knife open that way. Just sayin’.

My biggest complaint is that when they get around to the brain diving that is the hook for the show, they once again run the full startup animation, like a third-rate magical-girl transformation; I’ll be very happy if they ditch it in future episodes. Just plug her in and go.

Verdict: this does not show signs of being a slow-burn romance, at least not for now, but the buddy-cop dynamic is complicated by the boy-girl dynamic, with both of them being emotionally damaged goods. In a story-promoting way, that is. Unrelated, the ED animation was apparently produced by a team that was told this was a rom-com.

(Our Heroine only acts like a zombie…)

Robo-Ho Classmate

I had to go to Teh Torrentz for this week’s Your Forma, and the trashiest-sounding series of the season was right there, so…

Yes, I just watched the first episode of Hide me! Makina-san!!, in which a ridiculously-stacked naked high-school chick showers before the opening credits with just a hint of soap and steam over her crotch, then shows more nip during the credits, then speaks kindly to the nerdiest nerd who ever nerded, and finally shows up at the apartment where he lives alone (as all high-school nerds do), which she knew about because she’s basically been stalking him.

She opens her flasher coat and shows him that she’s a seriously damaged robot. Also, she makes a complete mockery of all the fan-service up to this point by revealing that her boobs are hollow. As in cracked eggshell hollow. Once she’s fixed up, she’s equipped with sentient lightbeams and steam clouds to keep her crotch Safe For Japan, except when she gets Barbied.

He fixes her up overnight, and she wakes up (alone) in his bed the next morning, a bed that has a prominently-placed box of tissues. Boy Wonder is a wreck, between staying up all night reading her manual that’s filled with future-tech, and having a girl and a robot in his bed.

There’s “not subtle”, and then there’s this thing, which looks like someone read a badly-translated wiki article on Hand Maid May, cut the guy’s age by 10 years, and made the lead girl a willing sexbot with a gal skin. The harem’s even got a loli, according to the credits and the official site.

Verdict: shouty, of course, but unapologetic, and objectively better than Dere-Dere Dark Elf. Faint praise, but I actually made it all the way through the episode…

(unrelated, but naked and busty…)

Not the comparison I would have made…

I happened to notice that Poul Anderson’s classic Three Hearts And Three Lions was on Kindle Unlimited. That’s a good way to spend some time, I thought, and then I read the blurb:

Before Thomas Covenant, Roger Zelazny’s Amber, and J. R. R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings, the great Poul Anderson introduced readers to the Middle World and the legendary hero Ogier the Dane.

This is technically true, if you’re referring to the original 1953 3H&3L novella that ran in a magazine one year before Fellowship was released, but it wasn’t expanded into a novel until 1961, so they can’t be directly compared in scale for “introduced readers to”.

But that’s a small point. Of all the fantasy series written since 1953/1961, they put Thomas Fucking Covenant first on the list?!? Without even including the author’s name, as if it’s more iconic on its own than Amber or LoTR? I don’t think Covenant himself even has anything in common with the heroes of the others except being an adult male.

I can see excluding Narnia, despite its superior name recognition and the fact that it came out in 1950; the same logic might be applied to Prydain and Wrinkle In Time, by calling them “chidren’s books” despite their depth. But since they extended their list to the late 1970s, let’s see what alternatives come to mind: Norton’s Witch World (which even starts off with an isekai transfer), Vance’s The Dying Earth, Le Guin’s Earthsea, McCaffrey’s Pern, Moorcock’s Elric and Corum, Lieber’s Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser, Cherryh’s Morgaine, and if most of my books weren’t in boxes, I could probably list a dozen more.

Hell, Brooks’ Shannara surely has better name recognition than Thomas F. Covenant, given that it had a two-season TV show less than ten years ago.

Unrelated, Timothy Zahn has a new story out

Trap Line, and by “new” I mean “two weeks ago”.

Lazarus, next month

Turns out even Max only has the dub, and the subtitled version won’t be available for a month. So that’s a big no-can-do.

Delusional Space Virgin, held back for a few weeks

If for some reason you’re wondering where episode 4 of this show is, it’s airing on the 26th, as if the show had had a normal premiere instead of throwing out three episodes in one week.

Clueless Crafter, episode 2

Not content to dig a lit, reinforced, caravan-sized tunnel completely through a mountain in one morning, Our Super Hero also digs down several kilometers to find “decent” ore (legendary, that is), and then fills the hole in for safety. Our First Waifu thought she’d prepared herself for the impossible, but not at that scale.

On his next side job, he cleans a kitchen at superspeed, wanders the house looking for more to do, walks in on a mostly-naked cutie with an unbreakable lethal curse, and casually whips up a meal that cures her. That’s definitely a viable method to recruit a Second Waifu.

We also get an update on the party that kicked him out, which has fallen apart completely, with the leader headed for jail, the hot priestess called in by the church, and the rogue turning out to be a secret agent who has always known how OP Kurt is. She dresses for fan-service, but she doesn’t seem to be a kurtsexual haremette. More left for the other gals, I guess.

Verdict: the girls are cute, and it’s not as shouty as you’d expect from a current show. But how long can they keep escalating his powers without jumping an inflatable shark?

(show lacks animal girls…)

Smothering Dark Elf Waifu, episode 1

HiDive usually gets the uncensored version of shows, but Our Obsessed Naked Dark Elf Maiden is accompanied at all times by three giant steam blobs. Okay, there are brief moments when she’s not naked. That’s pretty much the entire episode.

Verdict: boooooooooobs, without even a hint of story.

Your Forma, supplemental

The show can now be legally streamed in the US. On Samsung TVs. Only.

As for the content, I had forgotten the preview mentioning that the series is explicitly skipping book one of the light novels. Some of the seemingly-random remarks between Our Odd Couple, such as him commenting that she no longer wears a necklace and the “you’ve stopped hating androids” line, are Book One references. So is the friendly girl they’re saying goodbye to at the beginning, and the tabloid headline (before the viewer has any idea what an “amicus” is or what the reference to “royal” means).

By the way, I assume that page three of The Moon tabloid features an ass-shot of a pretty girl. Well, hopefully a girl, anyway.

The Apothecary Diaries 2, episode 13

This week, Shisui reveals one of her small secrets and two of her big ones, as she takes Maomao and Xiaolan to the baths. The part of me that enjoys fan-service is forced to confess that it would be out of character for the show to suddenly start showing the goods, so the scenery is period-correct. Together they start a massage service for the lesser concubines, with Xiaolan hoping to make connections that will lead to a post-palace career. Shisui also points out that it’s a great opportunity to pick up rumors and gossip.

But in addition to this good clean fun, we get two new mysteries, with rumors of a mysteriously-handsome new eunuch, and high consort Lishu’s claim that her pavilion is haunted. Naturally, both are like catnip to Maomao, so that should take care of next week.

Slime-Killing Witch 2, episode 1

If you watched the first fluffy season, this episode promises to fluff in exactly the same fluffy way. There’s a brief reminder of the isekai setup and the platonic harem’s personalities, and then straight into the fluff.

After 300+ years of living in this world, Our Witchy Heroine randomly discovers that it has rice and adzuki beans, so the first half of the episode is spent reinventing manju, noticing that it looks kinda like slimes, pasting eyes on it, and turning it into a new regional specialty. Second half has a goddess working to promote herself with personal appearances, which leads to a reunion with the deity responsible for Azusa’s reincarnation into this world as a “forever seventeen”; you get three guesses who they hired to voice the goddess, and the first two don’t count.

Verdict: the ED promises to make the cast much bigger. As long as they don’t skimp on the Beelzebub appearances, I’m okay with that. Fluff, fluff.

(yes, I still have fan-art leftovers from the first season)

Bumpkin & Harem, episode 1

This one’s streaming on Amazon Prime, simul-dubbed into 8 languages. Cheaply, if the auto-play English dub is representative; 10 seconds of third-rate voice acting was all I could take while I fumbled to change it. Worse, Amazon has goofy auto-continue where in the middle of the end credits it decided I should watch the first episode of Electra Woman And Dyna Girl (the original Seventies series, not the shit-tier 2016 mini-series that has nothing in common except the title).

Take the premise of S-Rank Daughter, but instead of all the young babes seeing him as a father figure, they want a daddy. Seriously, the white-haired one who kicks off the plot lasts about ten seconds before blurting out that she dreams of being wifed. The way her tongue keeps slipping, it’s sure to land in his mouth soon.

For more fun, Haremette #3 (buff redhead variety) is one that Our Sword Daddy actually took in as a child, and went on to become a top-rank adventurer, reinforcing the comparison to S-Rank Daughter. Naturally she has a long-standing rivalry with Thirsty McWhiteHair that doubles when she sees Her Sensei/Daddy for the first time in many years.

Verdict: this is not subtle, with even Our Hero’s dad coming right out and saying “hey, why don’t you make grandkids with this hot former student?”. If they throw in some trashy hot-springs and beach episodes, I’m good.

(Holo-harem is unrelated)

A-Rank Adventure Harem, episode 12

I was kinda hoping that with the Asshole baggage out of the way, we could have ordinary dungeon/harem adventures, but no, this week rapidly escalates from “gosh this dungeon is weird” to “who’s gonna save the world?”, thanks to triple exposition from the creepy old man, the rescued magical schoolgirl, and some noble guy we’re meeting for the first time who has the secret history of the multiverse in his back pocket.

The answer to the world-saving question is, of course, Our Harem Hero. That role doesn’t offer a lot of downtime for waifuplay, so I hope this doesn’t try to turn into a serious show.

Verdict: please counter this extreme plot escalation by giving Jamie an early pardon and holding all future party conferences in the bath.

(I’ll just drown my sorrows with Marina again…)

Lazarus, episode 1

Apparently there will be two ways to watch this: Toonami has a dub, and Max has the sub. So pretty much everyone’s going to torrent it. I think I can get Max free for a while through DoorDash, so maybe I’ll try to watch it that way.

Could be worse, I suppose; the sex-doll-classmate show is licensed by a company I’ve never heard of that wants $13/month without letting you browse their catalog until you sign up.

LLM Story Logic

I fed a story bible into a recommended uncensored LLM and asked it to generate the prologue for the story. The setup was simple: four female adventurers in an inn, discussing the quest they were about to depart on before going to bed, while in the background, the wizard who hired them was planning a double-cross that would end with them enslaved.

The generated scene had a plausible prose structure, with a typical mix of narrative and dialogue, and since there was plenty of room to store the entire bible as context, everything matched the request.

Based on its (horny fiction) training data, the LLM placed the villainous wizard in the scene, drilling a peephole into the girls’ room so he could watch them undress for bed, which excited him enough that he began fondling himself through his robes. Suddenly:

As if sensing his gaze upon them, Meria suddenly looked up and met Khardo’s eye through the peephole. The old wizard quickly pulled back but it was too late - Meria had seen his lecherous expression and the bulge in his pants.

This is what happens when the “writer” is just stringing sentences together. His eye is pressed to a peephole, and yet from across the room she clearly sees the expression on his face and the erection he’s tugging on before he pulls away from the peephole and runs off. The scene continues with plausible sentences about responding to a peeping tom, and yet they all go to sleep without setting a guard, and still plan to set off on the quest he hired them for. Also, in the previous paragraph he was wearing robes, not pants.

As for the wizard:

Khardo would have to act quickly to lure them into his trap before they could warn anyone or change their plans.

So he leaves them alone for the rest of the night in the well-populated inn, where they have plenty of time to tell everyone in the place about the naughty peeping wizard, and no reason whatsoever to leave town and continue his quest the next morning.

In other words, even most direct-to-Kindle shovelware writers are still safe from AI for now.