Slo-o-o-ow cooking

No smoke, Bluetooth!

I got the new smoker up and running Friday night (wifi config, software update, bluetooth pairing for the induction burner, seasoning process, all good), but by then it was too late to cook anything.

Then I didn’t get to use the smoker Saturday morning, because the weather forecast suddenly changed from “partly cloudy” to “brief thunderstorm”, and then I got distracted with some shopping errands.

Saturday evening, I decided I should at least pair the Bluetooth temperature probes that came with it, which I hadn’t done Friday because they needed to charge for several hours. I woke up the smoker and successfully paired the first one, and then I told it to search for the second one.

It beeped once, and the screen turned off. “Ah, it must have crashed due to some stupid Bluetooth bug”, I think to myself, so I power-cycled it. The screen stayed blank. I tried again. Then I shut it off, unplugged it, gave it a good 60 seconds, and tried again. The power light comes on, the induction burner’s light pulses that it’s searching for Bluetooth, but there’s nothing on the screen, and the app can’t see it on wireless.

It had bricked itself.

First thing Sunday morning, I called Traeger’s customer service 800 number, and after some brief issues with address/phone conflicts between their different databases, we went through the same troubleshooting I had, and then they instructed me to crack open the case and look at the boards.

One of the screws on the side stripped out, but I found a bigger screwdriver and got it open, checked for damage and loose connections, and confirmed that both boards showed power lights.

They’re shipping replacements out by two-day air, and they’ve already sent me the how-to video. All I need is a dry day late this week.

With apologies to Wayne

Sometimes when a song comes on, I find myself changing the lyrics just a bit. Watching the video, I always thought Rachel Hunter would be a bit too sophisticated for that boy…

(Stacy’s mom has got a strap-on dong)
(Stacy’s mom has got a strap-on dong)
(Stacy’s mom has got a strap-on dong)
(Stacy’s mom has got a strap-on dong)

Stacy, can you come save me after schoo-o-o-ool?
    (after school)
In the hidden room by the poo-o-o-o-o-o-ool.
    (room by the pool)
When your mom got back from her business trip,
    (business trip)
She knocked me out while I was trying on her sli-i-i-ip.
    (wearing her slip)

You know, it’s been almost a week since she captured me.
I’m all tied up, now,
Baby, can’t you see?

Stacy’s mom has got a strap-on dong
It’s thick and black
and it’s over a foot long.
Stacy, can’t you see?
Your mom’s too much man for me.
Untie me while she’s gone,
please save my ass from your mom’s schlong.

(Stacy’s mom has got a strap-on dong)
(Stacy’s mom has got a strap-on dong)

Stacy, do you remember when she mowed the lawn?
    (mow the lawn)
And showed it off with just a towel o-o-o-on.
    (towel on)
She could tell I liked it from the way I stared,
    (way I stared)
And the way I begged
to put my finger in the-e-e-ere.
    (finger in there)

And I know I said pegging’s a cool fantasy,
but since your dad escaped
it’s been non-stop abuse for me.


(there are related pictures on Pixiv, but I block all of those keywords, so…)

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