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No. No. I do not want a cloud-connected keyboard. I don’t care if the mechanical keyswitches are clad in the purest shimmering samite.

Available at J-List. Not available: exhibitionistic motorcycle-riding alien catgirl goddess. Good luck sourcing that component.

So, I stumbled across a Japanese phrase I hadn’t seen before, which wasn’t in any of my dictionaries. From the NSFW context (picture after the jump…), it was modern slang associated with the sex trade, but what did “kami-machi” really mean?

A quick google found a story on a “naughty Japan” site (so, NSFW link, y’know) that cleared it up: runaway and homeless young women who are willing to put out in exchange for dinner and a night in a warm bed.

This is one of those things where you can’t really be sure how much of it is true, how much was invented for dirty books and movies, and how much is “hey, check out our Wacky Japan Site”. But it rang a faint bell, and sure enough, I blogged about this sort of arrangement four years ago, back when I still got tons of spam in Japanese. It didn’t use “kami-machi”, but the subject line was “please become kami-sama to needy girls”.

Anyway, the porn industry certainly pretends it’s a real thing, and promises some first-rate talent (NSFW):

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And in unrelated news, may I say that I like the happy ending in this story from Nashville?

The Lawson convenience store chain is everywhere in Japan, and this isn’t the first time I’ve seen it spoofed for a massage parlor. Comparing prices, either this place has higher-quality service, or ¥8000 doesn’t go as far as it used to.

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Am I correct in assuming that someone was fired for not stapling a rhinestone-studded feather headdress to 15-year-old Rikako Sasaki’s head? The outfit just looks incomplete without one.

(via Takitumblr, which includes shots of what was considered matching footwear…)