Again? Seriously? Dogu-chan herself wasn’t wacky enough, now she needs to be backed up by the Doguun 5 bikini combat team?

I suppose the bright side is that this keeps you visible enough for your agency to justify making more DVDs…

More, please. Preferably without the bizarro zombie/mutant/drag-king who mars two of these shots.

No, seriously, Kemeko, you’ve found people who know how to do your hair, makeup, and clothing, and who recognize that your talent is accompanied by severe hotness. The only thing missing is a long-overdue solo album.

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Sometimes, funny-looking English in a sign isn’t. This is a perfectly reasonable translation of the Japanese text on the sign, and I’m sure it makes perfect sense to everyone who sees it.

杖等をご使用の方はここでお拭き下さい

Featuring the star of Bushido Sixteen , it’s Shodou Girls!!.

Popular young actress Riko Narumi often goes for a serious, intense look; fortunately her face hasn’t frozen that way, and she often looks quite cuddly. Working hard this year, too, with two TV dramas, three movies, a photobook, and several ad campaigns. According to her official site, she’s also still involved with the School of Lock! (not a typo or Engrish) radio show.

(no idea if she’s any good; Amazon Japan just recommended her to me because I bought the most recent Sukeban Deka film)

…but “not a native English speaker” seems likely:

"...and has made a freeware available on a language-learning software."

Oddly enough, the person being referred to has lived in the US for decades, and the book it appears in was printed in the US by a Boston-based publisher.

(what the credit in her bio appears to actually mean is “she produced a free Japanese pronunciation module for an expensive commercial language-lab system”)

…and it’s for a coffee commercial. Seven former members of Morning Musume are the new kimono-clad coffee cuties for Georgia Coffee (only five featured in this ad), Afternoon Musume:

Surprising that someone didn’t think of it earlier, given that their first single was called Morning Coffee.

[Update: the actual commercial is up now]

In other promotional news, Yuko Nakazawa (front and center in this picture) has another campaign running at the moment, for a weight-loss product. 37 looks good on her.

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This entertaining picture was recently posted to engrishfunny.com. As is often the case, the uploader pretended that he took the picture, conveniently failing to link to the Flickr user who posted it two years ago. (TinEye to the rescue!)

Please do not see it while drinking drink.
The PET bottle caps it and put it in a bag, and please carry it.
Please see the thing which the chief does not have after finishing drinking.

城内では、飲料水を飲みながら観覧することはできません。
ペットボトル等については、キャップをしてカバンなどに入れて持ち歩くか、キャップのできないものについては、飲み終えてからご観覧下さい。ご協力のほど、よろしくお願いいたします。

The first half of the translation is almost comprehensible, although it inexplicably leaves out the opening clause in the first line, “Inside the castle”. The third sentence is supposed to say “finish drinks that can’t be capped before viewing (the castle interior)”, but as any Ultraman fan knows, “kyappu” is not only phonetic for a bottle cap, but also for “captain”…

[Update: The Flickr user thanked me for adding a quick translation as a comment. English isn’t her native language, which made the Engrish particularly baffling.]

Melon Kinenbi managed to go out with a decent bang, with two final albums and a concert DVD, and three of the four members quickly started off on new careers. Quirky re-signed with Up-Front, Psycho picked up some decent acting jobs, and Bambi signed with a new record company and is working with a vocal coach.

All Smoky said was that she was retiring from show business, but now the news is out: marriage.

[Update: Psycho has a new single as well, currently available for cellphone streaming in Japan. Title is “Kill my caddy”, so she’s keeping the WTF alive and well]