Pro tip: if you plan on integrating your Philips Hue bulbs with Alexa, give every bulb a name that can’t easily be confused with your room names, so that “Alexa, kitchen lights on” does not result in a question about which one you meant.

Guest tip: buy the Hue motion detectors or dimmer switches rather than expecting visitors to learn your naming scheme. Especially if they’ll be staying the night.

eBay tip: even a vendor with a long positive history can do stupid things like buying returned merchandise at a Wal-mart and not checking inside before putting it up for sale. The refund will go more smoothly if you don’t accuse them of fraud.

 Back       1-porch-back
 Driveway   1-driveway, 2-driveway
 Entry      1-entry, 2-entry
 Front      1-hall-front
 Garage     1-garage
 Guest      1-bedroom-guest
 Hall       1-hall-main
 Kitchen    1-kitchen, 2-kitchen, 3-kitchen, 4-kitchen
 Master     1-bedroom-master, 2-bedroom-master
*Nook      *1-nook (bri=67%, ct=313)
 Office     1-office
 Porch      1-porch-front
 Side       1-porch-side
 Stair      1-stairs-landing, 2-stairs-landing, 1-stairs-top
 Upstairs   1-hall-upstairs, 2-hall-upstairs, 3-hall-upstairs

Once the refund gets processed on eBay, I can buy bulbs for the family room and sewing room¹, and then come up with a plan for the 21 G25 bulbs in the bathrooms. I’m thinking standard warm white LED bulbs and dimmer switches, because replacing the actual fixtures would involve some painting, and I don’t see the need to remote-control the lights in there. Also $3/bulb on Amazon.

1: well, more of a kumihimo/library/music/ironing/ammo room, really.

The automatic cat feeder on the front porch is sturdy enough to survive an assault by a raccoon, but not so heavy that he can’t drag it six feet across the porch and give it the old college try. I was wondering what the hell was going on out there in the wee hours this morning, and a quick check of the Arlo cameras cleared it up.

I already knew not to let it dispense food at night, since I caught a pair of possums on video a while back, but I didn’t know we had raccoons in the neighborhood as well. I’ll have to scoot the heavy bench over to wedge the feeder into the corner more firmly.

In related news, Whitefoot has claimed the cat bed on the bench, relegating Scrawny to her old chair cushions. The coup must have been recent, since she was using it last week. I think I upset the balance when I threw away the bench cushion that somebody used to register their dislike of the turkey flavor wet food.

Also, they’ve pretty much forgiven me for leaving them with only the dry food while I was in Chicago for Christmas; Scrawny actually purrs while she’s getting her morning skritches, and will delay eating until she’s had enough affection.

I bit the bullet and started moving to LED lighting at home. While I’m generally opposed to the Internet of Things, a few people I have reason to trust spoke well of Philips Hue smart lighting (in particular, the fact that it gets updates), so I picked up a starter kit on Amazon and gave it a try.

After playing with it for a while, I picked up some White Ambiance flood lights at Home Depot to start replacing the mix of incandescents and fluorescents in my ceilings, and some more White ones for outside. I also added a wireless dimmer switch (for the stairs) and motion detector (for the garage), and set up the Amazon Alexa integration. I’ll probably add another motion detector and a few more switches before my parents come out in March, since they won’t be used to calling out the names I’ve given to each lighting area.

While planning out the number and type of lights I’d need, I realized I had a way to use my most peculiar Christmas present: an eBay gift card. Sure enough, a number of dealers with good histories have new-in-box Hue lights, so I ordered some floods and A19 bulbs.

The floods arrived yesterday, in new-looking packaging, but the seal on one of the boxes looked like it had been opened and resealed. Sure enough, both boxes contained Hyperikon LED bulbs rather than the promised Philips Hue, and no, they weren’t even smart bulbs.

I have done the seller the courtesy of assuming that this was not an act of deliberate fraud (by them; obviously someone’s a scammer), and requested a “wrong item” return, sending them pictures of the shady seal and the bulbs. If they haven’t responded appropriately in a few days, I’ll post their name and start the dispute process with eBay. Fortunately this only affects the family room, so as long as the other eBay seller doesn’t screw me, the rest of the place will be done.

…except for the bathroom lights, which have these stupid multi-globe-bulb fixtures that will need to be replaced; no way I’m buying 21 LED smartbulbs to light 2.5 baths. In fairness, though, I haven’t had a single one of them burn out in 18 years.

Good: family, good food, prezzies, white Christmas.

Bad: high temperatures in Chicago less than half the low temperatures at home. Update: how could I forget my sister playing Christmas music all day long. And, yes, it included this. All of it. I hadn’t heard any of it in forty years, and wish it had stayed that way. Sorry, Nellie.

Also, there’s a perfectly good reason that one of my presents was a 5-pound bag of rice. And it’s completely unrelated to the four cookbooks I got.

(previously, etc)

I’m down to two regulars, Scrawny and Dumas, although Whitefoot did show up for dinner last night for the first time in a week.

Scrawny and Dumas are now almost fully J-tolerant. They rush the front door whenever I open it, to try to enter The Place Food Comes From, and rub against my legs while I’m opening the containers. They accept any amount of petting and skritches, for as long as I’m willing to keep at it.

Dumas, with his bouncy kittenish behaviors, was never as skittish as any of the others, so it wasn’t too surprising that I’m now able to pick him up and cuddle him for about 30 seconds before he wants down.

Scrawny’s the real wonder. Even though she still flinches ever-so-slightly every time my hand comes near her head, yesterday she not only allowed me to lift her up onto her bench cushion, but also accepted 5 minutes of two-handed petting afterwards, including tummy rubs.

You are so fired. The four potted bamboo plants on my front porch that were up to a lovely arching 8 feet in height are now horrifically topped like a cheap shrub.

One last group of little monsters just now, and I think I’m done for the night. 126 kids (according to a quick review of my Arlo cameras), so I went through 55-60 pounds of candy. The porch cats were determined to hang around even though they wouldn’t let any of the kids within ten feet of them. During one of the lulls, Scrawny even came into the house and poked around a bit before heading back out, which was a first for her.

Some things never change. About ten years ago, my next-door neighbor’s daughter picked a Halloween costume that showed off a sudden growth spurt highlighting her growing resemblance to her hot mom. New neighbor in the same house, and this is the year their daughter was ready to show off. If dad doesn’t already have a shotgun, he really needs to pick one up soon…

(and, yes, I overbought, but not as badly as last year, so I won’t be feeding the office well into January this time…)

(previously, previously, previously, previously)

Scrawny has become sufficiently comfortable that she not only accepts skritches every day, she leans into it. She hasn’t reached the point of initiating contact, but she keeps getting closer to it.

Whitefoot has been joined by another similar-looking cat who’s still not the white-socks-and-soul-patch cat from the original crew. This one actually has some bouncy kittenish behaviors, but is also dumb as a post when it comes to figuring out where the food is. His behavior has earned him the name Dumas.

Whitefoot and Dumas are playing dominance games with the others, although no one has been stupid enough to challenge Scrawny over the cushions. They do try to take her food, though, which has led to some hissing from her and interference from me; there’s a good chance that her increased tolerance for affection is related to this.

Tubbs has been frozen out. The other three basically camp the porch all day, and he’s too skittish to approach when I’m putting out food, so he just sits in the bushes looking hungry. Haven’t seen Caramel for months, and Smoky hasn’t shown up since Dumas joined the crew a few weeks ago. I’m thinking of changing the timing of the automatic feeder to give them a chance to at least get some dry food, but I expect Whitefoot and Dumas to quickly adapt; they seem to always be close enough to hear my front door or car door, so they’ll definitely hear the noise from the feeder.

If I ever get some cover installed over the back porch, I could put a second automatic feeder back there, but I keep putting that project off (17 years and counting…).

Update

Found a dead rat conspicuously placed in the yard near the front door. Big healthy one, too, so the gang is earning their keep.

Also, Dumas turns out to be skritch-tolerant as well.

All three are showing signs of wanting to find out what’s on the other side of the front door…