Nothing says “born in Ohio” like processed meats, purchased in the middle of the night at Walmart.

And, yes, it’s one of my guilty pleasures, and after 20 years of not finding it in California groceries, a little light bulb went on and I tried the local Walmart. They also reliably stock the jalapeno bologna, so I can pretend to a more sophisticated palate.

I passed on the giant bag of Honeycomb cereal snack food, though. That’s a guilty pleasure that would earn a scolding from my doctor.

My leftovers didn’t come from no bird:

(sadly, while Costco usually trims the silverskin, they apparently got too busy the day before Thanksgiving, so while these are delicious, the smoke didn’t penetrate the underside as thoroughly as I’d like)

Twinkies return to the world on July 15th.

I plan to celebrate by buying exactly twice as many as I bought last year. So, zero.

Still, I expect there’ll be a large dish of Twinkiemisu at our next dojo party; the generic brand Chow used for the last party just wasn’t the same.

I love the wording in the description of Korean Roasted Bamboo Salt:

"The cooking process is believed to burn off the bad elements of ordinary sea salt transforming it into a new mineral."

(apparently it’s graded by how many times it’s been roasted; also, it’s a folk remedy with the usual random list of curable ailments)

“​…your hands would be covered in meat and cheese!”

“Okay, we’ll look into that.”

“I hate to just waste the rest of this can of chipotles, so I’ll use them all.”

Doctor’s orders. The science is settled. I need more cholesterol.

So, basically, I get to google for “high cholesterol”, avoid all the foods they recommend, and eat all the foods they say to avoid. I love modern medicine.