So, on Sunday, instead of catching up on last week’s anime that I wanted to watch, instead I watched the available episodes of Virgin Road. It’s a real mixed bag. As much as I approve of the concept, the premise has massive holes in it, (apparently eventually explained in the novels, in a likely retcon), Our Psycho Lesbian is shallow and annoying, Our ExeCutie’s lack ofsubdued personality is handwaved away by her backstory, and Our Bubble-Headed Tit Queen is More Than She Seems. It looks like there’s a very slow reveal of what’s really going on, slow enough that this season is unlikely to catch up to anything that’s teased in the OP.

Now, let’s write up last week’s anime, two hours before this week’s episodes start showing up!

Shield Hero, episode 2.5

Are we there yet?

No, seriously, how long is this turtle story?

RPG Real Estate, episode 5

Let’s play house… in bikinis! Our Boobie Newbie excels at this game, despite assigning the Mama role to someone less top-heavy. Then Our Agents are bullied into finding a free house for a spoiler, and Our Dragon-Service Loli (or Loli-Service Dragon) hints at hidden depths. Or something like that. Fluff and cheesecake.

Skeleton Knight, episode 5

In which Our Bony Hero and Our Busty Elf free more slaves from mustache-twirling rapists, bond over their shared desire to cuddle the fluffy mascot, and head off to adventures in elf-ville. Oh, and apparently she likes her men stiff, since the revelation of his dire secret bothers her less than missing a meal.

The tone shifts continue to be jarring, with Miss Nearly-Nude Canada bouncing between crushing testicles and snuggling the fluffball. She’s kind of like the love child of Emma Peal and Benny Hill, constructed of equal parts Action Girl and Comic Relief.

(and, yes, she really is from the village of Maple in the forests of Canada; this world has been isekai’d many, many times)

(picture is completely unrelated, for the usual reason)

Demon Girl Next Door, episode 2.5

I like it when Shamiko spends time in Crisis Management form.

Komi, episode 2.2

This one was a pretty random collection of unconnected short chapters, with Our Komi being scared of a storm, several boys imagining date scenarios with their classmates, Our Psycho Lesbian obsessing over Komi’s panties, and a visit to a cat café.

Unrelated,

At first, I thought my dishwasher was broken. Then I found that it’s controlled by the wall switch right next to the one for the garbage disposal. I’ve never seen that before. It works, but is loud enough that I’ll be ordering a Bosch Real Soon Now.

The fridge is not just old and loud, but contagious. When the compressor kicks on, it generates vibrations strong enough to cause the toaster six feet away to start vibrating in sympathy, adding even more noise. It’s also set up for a man in a wheelchair, so I have to reach down even for the top shelf. Fortunately it’s currently only holding Diet Pepsi, lunch meat, and leftovers, but it’s now at the top of my list for replacement.

The washer and dryer are functional, and blessedly IoT-free, but they’re energy hogs. Hopefully they’ll hold out long enough for me to get new gas lines run, because I’d rather have a gas dryer.

I’m not a fan of the electric oven/range combo unit, but replacing it also requires running gas lines, so I can install a dual-fuel unit and have a gas range and electric oven. Since I’m still just starting to settle in, I’ve only used the range to boil water for the good ramen I brought from California, and it at least did that well, but I had to unpack some Le Creuset for it, since the only other pot I’ve unpacked doesn’t have a flat bottom that’s stable on the ceramic smoothtop.

And I really hate the “over the range” microwave oven/fan combo unit. In fact, I hate it more than I expected, even though it’s the only recent appliance in the kitchen. They’re astonishingly popular in new and renovated homes, but they’re just not very good. They’re too high up to use regularly as a microwave, and they’re simply poor range hoods. I’d rather buy one of the high-end countertop microwave/convection ovens; I’ve got plenty of counter space now.

While they’re installing gas, I’ll also have a line run to the back porch, so that when I get around to having a deck built, I can have a built-in gas grill that’s free of the tyranny of propane tanks. That’s a late-summer, post-old-house-sale thing, though, like replacing all the flooring and window shades.

Speaking of which, the old house goes up for sale on the 15th. It got thoroughly cleaned last week, staged, and power-washed, and I had the landscaper do some touchups to the yard as well. I haven’t seen the pictures yet; it probably looks like normal people lived there. 😁

Now to hire an adorably-precocious orphan and a lethally-gorgeous spinster to be my fake family…

Dear Expedia,

I’ll be traveling from Dayton to Salinas and back soon, so I went to book flight, hotel, and car rental. If I say “I’m going to Salinas”, then the only airport available is San Jose (San Francisco almost always has better flights). If I say “I’m going to San Francisco airport”, then the only available hotels are in and near San Francisco. In order to fly into SFO but stay near Salinas, I had to make two separate orders, one for air/car, one for hotel. I could find no way to put it all into one.

…and now for last week’s anime, which I did not watch at 70 MPH on a truck.

Shield Hero, episode 2.4

Oh, look, more characters from last season that I’m supposed to remember! This came after most of the episode was focused on Our Noob Girl, and most of the rest was about Our Doomed Royal Ho, while Our Shield Hero and Our Raccoon Child Bride didn’t have much to do, and Our Big Bird was just transportation. This… isn’t going very well.

RPG Real Estate, episode 4

Oh, no, another customer with a hard-to-satisfy-no-wait-that’s-perfect living requirement, this time mixed with a bit of inter-personnel conflict. And by conflict, I mean slapstick comedy, or at least slap-tail. Then Our Ambitious Priestess learns that her childhood home is being demolished and replaced with condos, and we get a trip down memory lane with a detour on the road to yuri. Fluff, perfect for recuperating from a four-day drive followed by an awful lot of box-shifting.

Next week: bikini beach-house, with Our Boobie Newbie attracting jealous and/or hungry eyes from her co-workers.

Skeleton Knight, episode 4

Yeah, so in this world even the mooks twirl their mustaches to show off how cartoonishly evil they are. And someone apparently told Our Curvy Hot Elf’s voice actress to go full dere-dere for Our Bony Hero right away. I think they spent more time on her boobs than on the story, which may be for the best; at least that might inspire some decent fan-art.

Not yet, though.

(picture is completely unrelated)

Demon Girl Next Door, episode 2.4

In which Our Demon Girl sets out to find more info on Momo’s Missing Mentor, but ends up becoming a waitress in a café. I fell asleep during this one. Not necessarily the episode’s fault, but it just didn’t hold my attention as much as usual.

Komi, episode 2.1

In which Our Komi recaps her friend list, and Our Latest Misunderstood (and Misunderstanding) Weirdo is quickly sorted out by Our Hero’s well-honed interpretation skills. Then it’s a battle to the… whatever as Our Psycho Lesbian crashes a study party in Our Chuuni’s bedroom. Finally, Our Hero and Our Komi silently show their awareness of each other’s difficulties. The days are just packed.

Home, SweetNeglected Home

The previous owner of my home was a widower in his nineties, in a wheelchair. I knew this, but had not thought through some of the implications. Home inspections focus on major defects, and do not necessarily test every little thing. Like the garbage disposal that had rusted in place after years of non-use, or the clothes dryer that worked but did not dry due to being clogged with at least a decade of lint.

I did know about the 12-inch-tall toilets, and had them on my list, so when I had a plumber come out to replace the disposal, I threw the other items at him as well, and got it all taken care of at once. By the end of the week, I’ll have a Toto Washlet seat to go with the new comfort-height toilets, and as soon as the electricians come out, I can add them to the other bathrooms as well.

While I wait for the POD to be delivered on Tuesday (hopefully to the top of the driveway…), I’ll be dealing with a flooring guy and a locksmith. I’m going to replace all of the wall-to-wall carpet as well as the tile and vinyl, and the locksmith is fixing one of the deadbolts that was mis-drilled so that its bolt has only been secured by the thin strike plate rather than the full-depth hole. Ironically, it’s the kind of deadbolt that has keys on both sides, so that someone couldn’t smash out the side windows and unlock it from inside. (I’m not fond of that, either; I’m thinking Level Bolt)

Meanwhile, Molly Maid will be doing a move-out cleaning service this week at the old place, so the realtor can bring in his staging people and get pretty pictures made for the listing.

Comcast Business: piss-poor customer service

Nowhere on their web site or call tree do they mention what hours customer service is open. In fact, the web site says 24x7, and the folks at the local Xfinity believed that as well. I had to call the corporate offices at 215-286-1700 to find out. I’m sure they blame Covid, but I’m smelling deliberate efforts to make it difficult to stop being a customer.

Also, nothing on the web site tells you that they require 30 days notice, so the rat bastards are going to bill me for another month, when I’m 2,400 miles away and the house is empty and up for sale.

I have nothing but nice things to say about the technical support I’ve received from Comcast Business. I have no nice things to say about their customer-reaming service. Fuck ’em with a rusty chainsaw.

Monday’s Lesson

I wanted to know what day they came by to pick up my trash and recyclables, so when I opened the door to go out and run some errands, I was happy to spot the truck about twenty yards from my driveway, and quickly took the first batch of move-in trash down to the street.

Unrelated,

I really need to do something to shift the R-18 Discovery page on Pixiv. Despite it being Not My Bag, Baby, the page has started to suggest an awful lot of shota and otokonoko content. This is odd, because until recently it was heavily biased toward your most recent bookmarks, and while I’ve had a few traps sneak into the cheesecake roundups when it wasn’t obvious, I’ve definitely never made a habit of actively clicking the like button on that stuff.

My tastes bend over lean towards… something else.

Journal of the Mysterious Creatures

Idly skimming through Amazon Prime video, this collaboration between a Japanese game company (MAGES) and a Chinese streaming site (bilibili), with character designs by an unknown company called Children’s Playground Creative and production by Children’s Playground Media, features a number of recognizable voice actors (ex: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5) in supporting roles, while the nice-but-dimwitted male lead is someone who is inexplicably missing from the credits of the only other two anime series he ever worked on.

The girls are cute and the werewolf possesses Gainaxing powers, at least until the budget ran out; her transformation also features the white-hair/dark-skin combo that some find appealing (although like most of the art, how dark her skin is varies from scene to scene).

Other than that, it’s shouty and derivative and based on a Chinese web novel that just threw a bunch of tropes in a blender, the animation is low-budget with plenty of shortcuts and frequently-off-model character art, the end-of-episode chibi chats are done by the Chinese voice actors with Japanese subtitles, and the low-quality English subs are randomly out of sync and injected with lines from the Spanish sub. So, quality all around.

If you’re really bored some night and you have Prime, it’s… oddly watchable, in a likely-accidental retro-cartoon Scooby Gang sort of way. Note that fan-service is basically limited to the occasional cleavage closeup, and it’s a purely platonic harem.

Eromanga-ova

Somehow I missed the fact that there were two OVAs released in 2019 for Eromanga-sensei. I haven’t found subs for them anywhere, just raws, so I’ve just skimmed them a bit. The first one opens with Elf getting naked, so, y’know, same-old-same-old. This one is all about Our Manic Elf Dream Girl, including an Elf-themed ED set to the usual song. Cute touch: in the opening credits, her letter to her mom is addressed “Dear MyMother, 40 Example Street, London, England”.

The second one tests Sagiri’s boundaries as Her Beloved Brother catches a bad cold and she has to leave her room and take care of the cooking and cleaning. Also reenacting the ED animation and keeping the other haremettes from getting in to see him.

(bookstore-chan is still my favorite)

Shield Hero 2, episode 2

Another OP song I would be happy to never hear again. As for the contents, remember all the introductions and exposition we skipped last episode? Yeah, they put them here, mixed with a bunch of prep for an upcoming multi-national battle against a giant catastrophe turtle. I was amused to see Raphtalia snap to attention when Our Mysterious Royal Concubine offered Our Noob Girl advice on winning her man.

(…advice which boiled down to “put out early and often”…)

RPG Real Estate, episode 2

In which the first thing we see is that Our Newbie Real Estate Wizard has huge tracts of land. And don’t worry that she gets dressed right away; when the girls have a sleepover, the others will get a good look at how her square footage compares to theirs. As for the story, first their even-more-acreage boss tasks them with finding renters for some “challenging” rooms, which takes Our Half-Dragon about thirty seconds to solve. Then a little old lady serves up a softball that Our Boobie-Newbie hits out of the park thanks to a eureka moment in the bubble-bath. Also, Our Ambitious Priestess openly claims Our Scantily-Clad Warrior Maiden as her personal property.

…just in case anyone wondered if there were going to be serious challenges to be overcome rather than cute real estate agents doing cute home sales and yuri teasing.

(picture is unrelated)

Skeleton Knight, episode 2

(yes, I skipped the wretched OP)

It strains credulity that Our Bony Hero thinks he can somehow keep a low profile as he strolls across the countryside in massive shiny armor. It’s already getting a little old, so hopefully he gives up on it as soon as he joins up with the elf girl. In this episode, he acquires a fluffy companion while defending the right of little girls to pick herbs in the forest.

(the stuff on Pixiv that’s not from the official manga and light novel artists (official sample) is still mostly gang-rape of the entire female cast)

Demon Girl Next Door 2, episode 2

In which Our Story is interesting and funny. So, still getting what I’m looking for here.

In other news,

Elon Musk hasbends Twitter over a barrel.

Very safe safe

When I sold my motorcycle today and told the dealer who came to check it out that I was moving, he asked if I was selling anything else, and I mentioned the gun safe. He was interested, and we agreed they could come over and pick it up on Saturday.

Which means I need to empty it. And I can’t get the damn thing open. I know the combination and the correct number of magic turns, but it’s not working. After half an hour of this, I looked for local locksmiths, found one that was open after 5pm, and called to have someone come out. Half an hour later they called back to say they didn’t have anyone in my area.

Because they’re not a locksmith, they’re an online dispatch service with a bunch of fake “local” web sites. Their business address, which is about a mile from my house, is actually an Olive Garden restaurant.

So if I can’t get the silly thing opened tonight, I’ll have to call an actual locksmith in the morning. I blame Covid, since I haven’t been able to get to the range for two years…

(locksmith, wrench-wench, same difference)

Oh, by the way…

…the online “zero-pain” motorcycle sales brokers? Fucking useless. The first one kept me hanging for two days before saying “oh, 2005 is too old for us” (must be Hollywood Democrats), despite this being the very first field on their online form. The second immediately made an offer (low, but promising a quick wire transfer), then withdrew it in a phone call a day later, after having me upload full scans of my title, registration, driver’s license, etc. If I hadn’t checked them out to be sure they were legit, I’d be off buying identity-theft insurance right now…

The local dealer offered 50% more than the second online broker and wrote a check fifteen minutes after showing up to check out the bike.

Shield Hero 2, episode 1

Welcome back to The Grooming Of The Raccoon Child-Bride, AKA Banished From The Bow Hero’s Party, The Insecure Cutie Joined The Other Guy’s Platonic Slave Harem To Become Strong Enough To Impress Her Crush.

In which Our Shield Hero gets roped into a side quest and the stakes quickly escalate from “train the noob girl” to “take on a giant army of monsters”. They don’t waste a lot of time recapping anything, assuming that if you’re watching this you pretty much remember the story and all the players.

RPG Real Estate, episode 1

Crunchyroll delayed announcing their license of this show until Tuesday, one day before the premiere. It didn’t actually get a series page until Wednesday morning.

How is it? Cute girlsmoeblobs doing cute thingsfan-service.

Seriously, this is our first sight of Our Wizard Heroine’s new city:

(that’s their boss, by the way)

And as soon as she walks into the agency, she finds Our Ambitious Priestess chasing Our Childlike Half-Dragon around trying to get her into some clothes. Not long after that, strategically placed soap bubbles protect the secrets of the women’s bath.

(picture is unrelated)

Skeleton Knight, episode 1

I never want to see or hear the OP for this show again. I also never want to hear the ED song again, but I’m willing to look at the CGI model of the busty elf chick until there’s some decent fan-art.

Apart from a few aspiring artists eager to gang-rape the entire female cast, there’s very little on Pixiv right now, which is surprising for a series that has 10 light novel volumes and 10 manga volumes. Of course, since the first episode opens with Our Skeleton thwarting a gang rape with inches to spare, and then shows the extended dance mix ten minutes later, it’s easy to see where they’re getting the idea.

So consider this shot of the ninja catgirl a unicorn chaser.

(don’t know what episode she’ll show up in)

Oh, what happens? Eh, guy wakes up in a fantasy world as his ridiculously-OP avatar, geeks out over it, slays monsters and bandits with insane ease, and cheerfully starts his career as an adventuring suit of armor hiding his skeleton-body. I know there’s more to it, but that’s what they led with.

Demon Girl Next Door 2, episode 1

Absolutely nothing unexpected happens in this episode.

That is, I expected it to pick up right where it left off and be just as good as the first season, and I got what I expected.

Goodwill hunting

The local Goodwill is doing home pickups again. Which is good, since the POD arrives in about a week and I need to stage all the things that are going into it, and figure out if everything else fits onto the truck. They showed up this morning and took everything I had out for them, including the elliptical. They said they’d even take the gun safe if they had advance notice to bring a pallet jack, so if I don’t find a local buyer who knows how to move it, I’ll schedule another pickup as soon as I clear a path.

On that note, it turns out that it cost me nothing to switch from a 12-foot truck to a 16-footer. Less convenient for gas, restaurants, and parking, but an extra ~6x4x6 for free is worth it.

I’m still counting on the cleverness of the packing company at using the entire volume (~7x15.5x7.5) of the 16-foot POD, primarily in not crushing the sectional sofa under a pile of boxes.

I don’t think I’ll need to take the half-dozen boxes of manga that I just found in a closet, though. 😁

Move-in necessities

I’ve got a confirmed installation date for a 600/35 business cable line with five static IP addresses after I arrive with the truck, so I can work from the new house as soon as I unpack my OpenBSD router and wireless. Which is good, since I’m doing a Jira upgrade the following weekend. I could have sprung for 1000/35 and still saved a great deal of money compared to my current Comcast Business line, but I’m actually thinking of getting a second line at some point through their residential service, so I can completely separate work and home traffic.

Upsell A Helper

One of the packing/unpacking partners PODS recommends is HireAHelper. I booked them for both, setting a reasonable unpacking date based on how long they say it should take to get the POD from California to Ohio. The selected sub-contractor contacted me through the site the next day asking if they could move it up a day. Um, no?

Then they called me today on a fairly bad line, saying they needed to review a few things, and proceeded to try to upsell me a handyman, a home warranty, a security system, and an Internet connection. All of which I’d already taken care of. I haven’t decided if I’m going to just cancel now and tell HireAHelper why, or think about it until I get the confirmed delivery date for the POD.

Start Dates

Netflix has Komi 2 set for a three-week delay, so the first episode will be April 27th. Shield Hero 2 starts Wednesday the 6th on Crunchyroll. Demon Girl Next Door 2 starts Thursday the 7th on HiDive. So the three shows I plan to watch require three different subscriptions.

Checking HiDive’s schedule revealed that Iroduku just moved over to that service, so if you have a subscription and haven’t watched that one yet, do. Recommended for international air travel, or maybe that was just me.

How A Magical Queen Saved The Kingdom With A ‘Days Of Future Past’ Gambit, episode 26

Inevitably, this was the talkiest episode in both seasons, as Our Retired King explains his reasons for handing over his kingdom and his daughter in the first episode. And this was the short version of the story, lightly skimming over the queen’s history leading up to Our Realist Hero’s arrival.

Surprisingly, they did not announce a third season, and left a bunch of threads dangling with a vague “we’ve come so far, let’s keep going” New Year’s closing scene.

(picture is unrelated due to lack of interest by fan-artists)

Kuroitsu, episode 12

In which Our Agastia fends off a hostile takeover with the aid of massive spoilers, Our Former Temp Minions prove that their promotion was not a mistake, Our Blader once again reveals his greatest weakness, and Our Kuroitsu blows her cover.

Here’s all of the decent fan-art I could find of Our (Evil) Heroine:

…and some screenshots from last week’s episode:

Side note: so far, merging Funimation into Crunchyroll has not resulted in an increase in streaming capacity. Trying to watch this on a Saturday afternoon was pretty painful, with frequent quality drops and pauses.

So the real April Fools joke here…

…is that people thought it was a joke. Yes, the company that makes the catgirl-paradise Nekopara games really is making the doggy-girl game Inupara, despite releasing the trailer on 4/1.

The power of the algorithm

Browsing through featured recently-added movies on Starz, I found Concussion, starring Will Smith. 😁

(demi-chan maid cafe is unrelated)

(classical (NSFW) reference)

Realist Hero, episode 20

In which the great sin of Our Over-Cute Over-Scientist is revealed, and Our Princess On The Mantelpiece finally goes off. And Our Realist Hero was actually not expecting her to sign on as the latest fiancée.

(unrelated, the queen of Chupacabra did not marry into the position…)

Kuroitsu, episode 6

I’d like to take this opportunity to praise Akashic, leader of Our Evil Organization, for her culinary skills and fashion sense. I’d also like to thank Our Tsundere Of Black Company for coming up with an excuse to get Our Wereservicewolf back into her battle suit. This episode brought to you by the term 賞味期限. Oh, well, that explains why she shows up in the credits but not in any of the team shots.

Also, Our Part-Time Minion Agency actually has a name! And Our Temp learns an uncomfortable truth about the business. (side note: this may be an anime-original character; she’s not in the scanlations that are up to the idol story in episode 4)

(disappointed chocolatier is unrelated)

Realist Hero, episode 19

I expect a great deal of talking in this show, but this week’s massive infodump by over-cute over-scientist Genia Maxwell, which takes up pretty much the entire episode, had the most annoying delivery of any show I’ve seen for quite a while. I can’t pin the blame on seiyuu Konomi Kohara, because her Chika voice never wore out its welcome. I have to think the director pushed the more annoying button a few too many times.

(fan-art for this show? hah!)

Kuroitsu, episode 5

Wolf-service, ho! Cat-ho, service! This week, Our Monster Development Department survives its greatest challenge yet, only to face The Tsundere Of Black Company. Meanwhile, Our Temp tries vainly to escape the clutches of Part-Time Villainy, taking solace in a brief moment of victory.

(mermaid is unrelated, but there’s always room for duckies)

“…clearly you need to pay someone to do it for you!”

Realist Hero, episode 18

This week, a courtoom drama with a side order of Deus Ex De Principatibus. Also, trope evaded.

Advice to Our Realist Hero: when your two (known) fiancées show up in your bedroom half-naked to ease your burdens, let them. At least get them stripped the rest of the way to compensate us for all the talking.

(“related fan-art is hard for me, let’s play Pokemon!”)

Kuroitsu, episode 4

This amusement-park episode brought to you by sparkles and speedlines, because the animation budget is just as tight as the monster-development budget. Also, Our Monster-Loving Researcher puts the power of idols to good (evil) use.

(how sad is the fan-art situation for this show? these were the best I could find that weren’t part of a sequence that included badly-drawn hardcore porn)

(…and I really looked!)

Jargonfail

In a wonderful example of the difference between specialized technical jargon and the ordinary meaning of words, the Chinese Pixiv artist 行 之LV uses the word 事前 (same meaning in Chinese and Japanese: “prior; in advance; beforehand”) to tag pictures of scenery with no humans present.

Everyone else on Pixiv uses it to mean before sex, often by mere seconds.

Unrelated,

There is a god. Took him long enough.

Small Favors

The trip to Ohio for the-closing-that-didn’t-happen wasn’t a complete waste. The birthday party was great, the snow was decorative but didn’t interfere with my flights, and I used the points on my Amazon card to buy the remastered Bluray sets for Project A-Ko and Bubblegum Crisis. I skipped the complete Nuku-nuku box set; RightStuf has it priced too high, plus shipping. Ditto the $99 Interspecies Reviewers box, which appears to have finally made it to these shores.

Easiest Alpha Ever

Another thing I did while stuck in my hotel room in Ohio watching the snow was play the new Pokemon Legends: Arceus Switch game. It’s not a true open-world game, between the frequent proximity-triggered cutscenes and the fact that you can’t go directly between regions (you have to teleport back through the hub region, which doubles the loading-screen time), but it’s a fresh take on the formula.

One of the new features is that some of the pokemon populating the world are red-eyed mutant “alphas” who are larger, higher-level, and may possess special powers or a posse. If you’re patient and clever, you can often catch them by sneaking into position and ramming a pokeball where the sun don’t shine, but usually it’s a tough fight that takes out half your party.

Except for the alpha Magikarp, who only knows Splash.

Quid-pro Ho

The free Covid tests that the Brandon regime is shipping out via the US Postal Service were purchased from China. How long did they spend on container ships stuck off the coast, or were they all shipped by air at a premium?

Oh, and they require temperature-controlled storage, so shipping to anywhere that’s, say, cold in the winter renders them unreliable. Specifically, prone to false negatives.