Cosplay Harem, episode 18

“Mom said Daddy’s dead! But I’m okay now! But I wasn’t okay enough to ask her WTF!” Fortunately Our 2D-Lovin’ Hero has a nose for ears, and he’ll whiplash this mess into shape!

Anyway, the psychological trauma is resolved with a good cry and some hugging, and even an invitation to join the squeeze play doesn’t give Our Devoted Hero a stiffy (the camera actually checked). We got a brief cameo from Our Hot Teacher providing advice on dealing with Comiket announcements, but she was scooped by Our Eager Tsuntail, who took advantage of her modeling popularity to spread the word on TV.

Verdict: the fates are conspiring to reunite Daddy and Daughter through the power of cosplay, and they’ve made sure it will all work out by enlisting Our Universal Father Figure to voice him.

(Teacher ever-so-casually admitted that she’ll be there showing off alongside the other three “heavenly queens”, so next week should be full of eye candy)

Magical Working Girl, episode 5

I think they spent more money animating Our Wide-Eyed Cuddly Newbie’s karaoke dance scene than they did on last week’s fight scene. I suppose they could afford that because there’s no fight scene this week, just team-building and a chance for Kana to find out what life is like at one of the big MG corps. Which means we get to see a new gal doing… something next week.

GGO 2, episode 5

This week, half of the surviving players think the new twist sucks the fun out of the event, and the other half think it’s gonna be awesome to screw everyone over. In other words, half of them don’t get to play the game they signed up for. This can be considered a metaphor for recent anime seasons.

Verdict: so far, the running battle in episode 3 between two side characters who killed each other off is the high point of the show.

Election spam

I have received more mail in the past month than in the previous two years, all of it political spam for offices other than the president. I have received no SMS or MMS political spam, but I have (company-confidential) reason to believe that there’s a double fuckton of it being sent to other people. Possibly a triple fuckton.

As for The Big Race, some of the wealthier neighborhoods around Dayton have some Commie-Waltz signs up, but the working-class areas I drive through every day are swimming in Trump/Vance signs, many quite large, and unlike when I lived in California, they don’t get torn down.

Have Catgirl, Will Travel

Last week I linked to Jacob Holo’s Freelancers of Neptune, due to the presence of a sexy catgirl on the cover. How’s the actual book? Fun. The world-building gives the reader enough to work with while hinting at future possibilities, the heroes are good people with actual motives, there’s a complete absence of preachy woke bullshit, and the story moves along at a decent clip. The Big Bad does twirl his mustache a bit, but you can’t have everything, and you can have a catgirl. (well, somebody can have a catgirl; Our Captain doesn’t want this one)

(most of my saved catgirl pics are more “M appeal” than Emma Peel, but some of them are at least armed)

Shangri-La Frontier 2, episode 4

Return To Crystal Mountain, where Our Half-Dressed Hero swears to deliver mass quantities of rare drops to Our Awesome Chocolate Bunny, only to discover his strat has been nerfed. So we get some quick grinding and the execution of a new strat.

Verdict: Biiiilaaaac!!! (enjoy it while it lasts)

🎶 “Santa baby, hurry down the chimney tonight…”

Every once in a while you come across a glamour photoshoot that screams Eighties. The hair, the posing, the lighting, the sets, the ludicrous fake bondage, and the overall aesthetic of “we’re making Art here, not just getting a pretty girl nekkid”. Sadly, you can still find photographers today who think that showing off their distinctive style is more important than showing off the model, only now they lack the training to know which lens to use.

NSFW

(via Big Boobs Japan (1 & 2) which as usual should only be viewed with shields up and Javascript down)

But sometimes they got it right…

Kanori Kadomatsu, better known to anime fans for her voice work as Ryōka Yuzuki, and still looking like she made a deal with the devil, debuted in the late Eighties, but didn’t get nekkid until she turned 18 a few years later (1, 2), so she got to miss the worst excesses of Eighties glamour photography. Sadly, her cutest video clip is no longer available on the site I linked to last time I mentioned her (in which she rubs oil onto her breasts and explains that it’s supposed to keep them from sagging when she gets older; since she turned 50 this year, I think the world deserves to know how that worked out…).

NSFW

Update: found a copy of the clip, and after dodging a bunch of very sketchy ads, I was able to extract it. Om nom nom nom.

…Yatta

(coincidentally, around midnight the clouds burst open and my neighborhood was inundated with liberal tears…)

Loser Food

I’ve never wanted turkey on a pizza, but it at least sounds plausible. Green beans and cranberries, however, are way over into hell-no territory. Might as well eat the bugs at that point.

Loner Harem, episode 7

The Rise And Fall Of Snidely Whiplash. With hugs and the promise of cute girls helping Our Victorious Loner bathe. Off-camera.

Verdict: The Battle To Save The Class had only one possible outcome, and to get through it we had to hear detailed explanations of how it was done as well as the villain’s backstory. The clumsy parody of a “genius math nerd” made me glad he won’t be a returning character.

(most of the relevant art on Pixiv for this series is from the official cover artist for the light novels; this one is waaaaay down the road from what will happen this season)

OP Dragon Boy’s Harem Hotties, episode 6

Also a dose of Snidely Whiplash this week, with two demon generals monologing and playing with their food. I’ve completely lost interest in Our Really-Still-A-Dragon Hero and whatever the plot was supposed to be, so it’s up to the cute girls to carry this one, and so far they’re staying dressed. They gave plenty of screen time to a brand-new one this week, forgetting to make us care about her before putting her in peril, then ended with a superhero landing as he arrives in the nick of time.

Verdict: eye-rolling train wreck with mild eye candy.

(there is one recognizable fan-drawing of Our Snake Gal on Pixiv, and it’s not actually good)

Cosplay Harem, episode 19

It’s getting hot out there, and not just because Summer Comiket is held in miserable weather. Sadly, Our Hot Teacher is not in costume, and last week’s comment from her was either a mistranslation or a headfake. I mean, she’s technically there, but not exposing luscious flesh. Our Gals are a bit intimidated by the crowd, and Mr Exposition explains why they’re not getting the attention they expected (TL/DR: it’s harder to get a good picture of four girls at the same time), but they’re also facing stiff competition, including The Power Of Twins. Next week, will they rebuild their crowd and get a decent picture livestreamed to Daddy in time for a reunion?

Verdict: plenty of tame eye candy, but the most skin we see is a trap for Our Hero.

Magical Working Girls, episode 6

I am slightly disappointed that the shopping montage did not include a stop at a lingerie store, but Our New Partners finally got to the monster-fighting part of the gig, with a cruel cliffhanger.

Verdict: Our Fashionable Magical Senpai is going to be righteously pissed next week about taking a shot to the face. And I don’t mean in the Kamala-Career-Path way.

GGO 2, episode 6

“We’re running out of time before everyone drowns! Let’s talk for five minutes until we come up with a plan! And be sure to linger over all the bad ideas different teams come up with!”

Verdict: so, yeah, not loving this; Our Chibi Heroine is off her game, the stakes are completely artificial and boring, and the big twist to the big twist is not what you’d call subtle.

(whoops, wrong girl-with-gun! or is she…)

Somebody oughta…

…scale up the old .45 Super round, call it .47 MAGA, and make long-slide 1911-pattern pistols that chamber it. They make some in 10mm, so the pressure shouldn’t be a problem.

(“Say ‘Hitler’ again. I dare you, NeverTrumper, I double-dare you, say ‘Hitler’ one more goddamn time.”)

How to be sure the election’s over

My #1 xTwitter ad today is homeopathic medicines for dogs.

(note that California estimates that over 5 million ballots are still out there somewhere (1/3 of the total mailed out); if they don’t show up by the 12th, they can’t be counted)

Dear Amazon,

With more than 20 years of purchase history, what has led you to think that I’m in the market for 8 dozen canned snails? Or a 10-pack of tinned sardines?

Oblivious Fellatrix Projects

Whenever Gruber steps outside his core expertise (fellating Apple leadership) to talk politics, it’s pretty sad, but his response to several pretty-obviously-insincere congratulations from various tech CEOs to Trump really “lacks introspection”.

The novelty of having a vote that matters

When I lived in California, it didn’t matter how I voted. It was rare for anything to be close enough that you could plausibly affect the results at a county level, much less state or national.

In Ohio, however, even though my county includes the sort of liberal cesspool downtown that reliably harvests blue votes, Harris beat Trump by only 0.2%, or 513 out of 248,105. Statewide, Trump won by 11.3%, and when someone’s able to make a precinct-level map, the size of the blue dots will be even tinier.

(the national precinct-level maps of previous elections make it very clear that most of America has no interest in Democrat policies, and I expect this one to be even starker)

Shangri-La Frontier 2, episode 5

One big long fight with decent 2D animation but way too much CGI. Couldn’t be helped, given the nature of the beasties he’s fighting, but I still didn’t get much out of it.

Verdict: remember, he’s doing all of this so that Our Awesome Chocolate Bunny gets her reward… before Our Hero switches to another game for a while, sigh.

MAGGA Country

Make Anime Girls Gainax Again!

…because The Return Of Maomao will compensate for any number of terrible shows.

Which, off the top of my head, include Salaryman Reborn As A Villainess, Dougiette Houser Medical Detective, Murder Mysteries Of The Dead (actual Japanese title), Gay Vampire Boys, High School Romance With guy-i-hate/childhood-friend/guy-who-said-hi-once/aloof-guy (did I miss any of them?), Secret Office Romance, Loser Skater Girls, Incomprehensible Dream Girl, Isekai Salaryman Demon General, Isekai Sentai Adventurer, Golfing Girl, Lunar Survival Game, The Origin Of Apple Computer With The Serial Numbers Filed Off, Boy With Black Sword, Pretty Boy Idols, Animator’s First Love, and I’m pretty sure I’ve just scratched the surface here.

January: I Ditched My A-Rank Party To Build A Harem

Or something like that (1, 2). The harem consists of Our Mage Hero’s former students: the busty redheaded swords-gal in form-fitting armor, the white-haired tan-elf ranger-gal in hot pants, and the older-than-she-looks priestess-gal who still wears her Not-Hogwarts uniform.

The real twist to the formula seems to be that dungeon adventures are magically live-streamed.

Also January: Two Behemoths And A Kitten

More formally, I’m A Behemoth, An S-Ranked Monster, But Mistaken For A Cat, I Live As An Elf Girl’s Pet, with one of the bustiest bouncing half-naked elf girls in recent memory; Grenadier-scale without the spinning reloads, basically.

(I believe the manga cleans up a lot of the story from the abandoned light novels, which included a lot of references to the author’s earlier unsuccessful isekai series; a single cour is unlikely to get far enough for that to matter, though)

Check your privilege government fridge!

Make sure your butter warns you that it contains milk! And then check your supply of quicklime and canvas, hemp rope, and ammo…

Decimated Democrats: The Missing 10%

I’m looking forward to the Democrats comparing the public voting records for 2020 and 2024 so they can woo back all those Biden voters who decided they didn’t care if Trump won this time and “just stayed home”. I’m sure they’ll announce The Big Search as soon as the official results are certified.

No, really; stop laughing.

Loner Harem, episode 8

What could possibly go wrong with allowing Our Loner Hero to acquire a “pheromone ring”? The question is mooted, however, when his extremely high luck sends him straight to the bottom of the dungeon to battle a Level 100 lich. Continued next week.

Verdict: they kinda cheated on the intro, but with only four weeks to go, they really need to bring in the last major character of the season.

(Leafa-chan is unrelated and not the least bit skeletal)

Poorly Conceived Dragon Harem, episode 7

Badly-staged full-episode battle with shouty scenery-chewing villains and long chatty lulls in the action, off-character art by the B team, melodramatic to-be-continued with surprise guest entrance, and a sexy new monster gal who doesn’t even move, let alone gainax. Oh, and they clumsily foreshadowed that Haremette #2 is more than human.

Verdict: is everyone in this world blind and stupid, not to have even one word to say about Dolan casually swatting down two demon generals while tanking a fallen god? We’re way beyond OP now. There’d better be a bath scene next week with The Goddess Of Skimpy Lingerie (who still hasn’t shown up yet), or I’m quitting. Also, was the fallen god’s line about another Dolan meant to imply that his human parents just happened to pick his original dragon name when he was born? Seriously?

(unrelated dragon gal is better than anything in this show)

Cosplay Harem, episode 20

The Power Of Friendship, Heatstroke, and A Training Montage. And a few LoL moments, including one that sets up Team Liliel’s day-two comeback. Next week, Dad?

Verdict: with all the brutal humid heat and sweating, you might think sexy cosplay outfits would become sticky and translucent, but you’d be watching a different show.

Magical Working Girls, episode 7

Our Collaborating Cuties are way out of their league, and as Cuddly Noob starts to panic, Cool Beauty smiles through the pain and calms her down just in time for the cavalry to arrive. In the form of Our Emotionless Super Pro, who handles the mutated monster so effortlessly that it triggers a quickly-resolved crisis of confidence.

Verdict: it’s a good thing that the monsters aren’t terribly aggressive, giving Our Heroines plenty of time to talk things over while they work. Bonus points for giving Robo-Pro a bluntly practical tech-wand.

GGO2, episode 7

This week, Our Psychotic Betrayer betrays the Betrayers, and if you didn’t see that coming, you weren’t paying attention. Although as much of a letdown as this season has been, you’re forgiven for not following it closely.

Verdict: with all the issues this sequel has, what’s the #1 thing they’re doing wrong? Not showing the actual people interacting. After only a brief real-world intro, it’s taking place entirely in the game, throwing away most of the character-building from the first season.

January: Isekai Slow Life With Amazon Prime And Catgirls

Jungle-cat girls, even, plus a busty blonde and a loli. One of the catgirls shares her voice with Bilac (and many other characters I’ve liked), the other has an extensive career in shows I never watched, and the busty blonde has previously adventured as Maple and Lammis (and also had lead roles in Iroduku, Zombie Land Saga, Wandering Witch, etc). Our Shopping Hero’s voice is instantly recognizable, since he basically has only one, and even the loli has street cred as Endro’s Mao-chan-sensei, so they’re hiring some actual talent for what looks on the surface like yet-another-cheat-isekai.

The Wrong Stuff

I ordered 5 boxes of 44 Special to feed to my GP-100. I received 5 boxes of 44 Magnum, which I can only feed to my T/C Contender, one at a time. Fortunately the seller promptly sent me an RMA number and return shipping label.

Meanwhile, in the Phillipines…

The “U.S. Post” texted me from Manila about a delayed package. Uh-huh, suuuuure they did.

Our Awesome Chocolate Bunny is allowed to get shouty when last week’s super-rare loot is delivered. Our Half-Dressed Hero’s overreaction is inevitable as well, especially when he catches up to what everyone in the audience figured out weeks ago: he can’t wear the powered suits just like he can’t wear regular armor.

Anyway, Our Lovestruck Cutie appears in the real world just long enough to remind us that she’s in the cast, and then it’s off to a completely different game that we currently have no investment in.

Verdict: giant robots = nothing but CG fights until this arc ends?

(this is not the last time the story will move to another game, sidelining Our NPC Bunnies)

Forced cleaning

Thanksgiving will be at my house… next week?!? Time for some serious housework, at least in the public areas. I could call in a maid service, but I don’t think they have any Mysterious ones.

…and don’t call me Shirley

FYI, Anne of Green Gables has long been quite popular in Japan, one of the few things my friend Dan knew about the country (having spent time dealing with tour groups to Prince Edward in his misspent youth). So it shouldn’t be a surprise that there will be a new anime series next spring. From the brief description, it sounds like it will run for multiple cours.

(not planning to watch it; I’d rather have more Frieren)

Amazon Primer

The most useful announcement in this streaming roundup is that Amazon is folding Freevee into Prime, which means that I’ll finally be able to watch the newer Bosch seasons without ads. It never made sense to me that there was no way to watch Freevee shows without ads, no matter how much you paid the mothership each month.

Well below the fold is the announcement that Apple is losing a fortune on AppleTV+ and is trying to license their $20 billion in original productions to other services. Which means I might finally watch some of them. Now if only Disney and HBO would do the same…

(the only time I ever see television ads is when I’m in the barber chair, and it feels like Alex’s “treatment” scene in A Clockwork Orange; Amazon often tries to sneak one in when you start watching a show on Prime even if you pay the ad-free premium, but you can skip it)

Separate Rubbers

I mute every xTwitter account that displays an ad on my timeline, except for the truly obnoxious ones, which I block. They don’t provide any real management tools for these lists, so I can’t say how many accounts I’ve muted, but with an average of one ad for every 3 tweets viewed, it’s easily several thousand. Most are for products I’d never buy, sites I’d never visit, and people who wrongly think they have something to say that’s worth paying for, but many just seem like desperate cries for help.

Honestly, the one I came closest to engaging with was for an Etsy dealer advertising handmade bedside emergency condom boxes, and my only interest was in finding out if they were deliberately using the word “discrete” instead of “discreet” to name their product (and it was not a one-off typo).

First snow

Not enough to do more than look pretty and make the roads a bit slippery, but, y’know, seasonal. All gone by this afternoon, until the next one.

Loner Harem, episode 9

Still teasing The Big Reveal, dividing time between a quick uber-boss fight, some very quick regular boss fights, Our Classmates struggling to handle a mid-range boss fight, and Our Local Noble Gal rounding up a posse to deal with a major monster breakout.

Verdict: at least we’re now getting a peek at Our Loner’s New Partner, with an eye to confirming her mammalian ancestry.

Stop Dragon My Heart Around, episode 8

It’s the night before the big battle, and Our Sleepless Heroes gather under a blanket to… stare out at the elf village. Fully dressed. With plenty of space between them. Dragon Boy isn’t even in the middle.

Verdict: they tried a little too hard to cover up the lack of animation with loud mood music, but it doesn’t matter. The story is boring because Dragon Boy can whip out any power the plot requires, and the promised cheesecake is barely a tease. It sends signals that it’s a harem comedy with a serious story, but it’s not delivering enough on any front, and frequently ends up whiplashing the tone. I’ve given this show more than enough rope to hang itself, and I’m out.

Cosplay Harem, episode 21

Finally, Daddy’s Big Scene, with plenty of screen time for Gal Gal’s Hot Mom. 20 minutes of self-pity and catharsis is a bit much, but the only thing they didn’t wrap up is how the crowd responded to Aria’s costume change.

Verdict: in another genre, Daddy’s Next Manga would include mother-daughter threesomes. I figure the fan-artists will cover that soon, now that we’ve seen Mom’s hotness going all the way back to her gal schoolgirl days.

(speaking of threesomes, hopefully the rest of the season will be spent jockeying for pole position)

Magical Working Girls, episode 8

…and here we are at Tokyo Big Sight again, with plenty of cosplayers magical girls on display. Hmmm, can we get Our Hot Teacher to cross over and show off her mouthwatering succubus magic? It’s a respectable job, after all.

Anyway, it’s Our Spunky Magical Gals versus the worst possible enemy: A Failed Trade Show Demo. And Our Socially Awkward Engineer faces his biggest challenge yet: An Overheating Laptop.

Verdict: no, seriously, but it’s all good. Bonus cute little magical nurse.

GGO2, episode 8

Well, that arc’s over. And we got an attempt at fan-service that was as half-assed as half of the final battle, where “charging toward the enemy” was just “zooming the character art while leaving the background alone”. Also, wrong fan-service girl; sorry, Real-Life Pito.

Verdict: they never really gave the audience a reason to care about this story. And it looks like they’re headed into another one without a break.

Unimpressive CG robot fights that depend on rules we don’t know, with a side order of as-you-know-Bob.

Verdict: blah-blah, get back to real game.

January: Hammer Of The Guild Gal

I May Be a Guild Receptionist, But I’ll Solo Any Boss to Clock Out on Time, in which a busty-beauty guild gal hates overtime so much that she’ll kill anything that gets in the way of her peaceful 9-5 life. The trailer promises gainaxing, lingerie, and a really big hammer.

Cuddly In Costume

Honoka Sasaki & Miku Kuwajima (site NSFW, raise shields and disable Javascript) with basic accessories.

Leoparde’s figure…

The light novels and manga of A Nobody’s Way Up to an Exploration Hero haven’t been licensed, but I was curious enough about the source material to check out the available scanlated chapters of the webnovel and the manga.

The webnovel is pretty similar to the anime. Crush-chan’s missing daddy hasn’t been mentioned at all (at least up to the arrival of Our Shota Devil Chibi), so she doesn’t scold Our Hero constantly for going into the dungeon, which is refreshing. She does bully him into dates and go sub-zero when she finds out about Our Hot Naginata Gal and friends, but otherwise she’s been a very minor character so far. His two friends have a bigger role, getting back into dungeoneering and leveling up rapidly.

The manga is very different. First off, Our Busty Guild Gal is not only fan-service-enabled, she’s keeping a very close eye on Our Hero, including sending a spy into the dungeon to discover his secrets (because of course she’s more than she seems). Second, he takes Our Chibi Valkyrie’s card home with him and gets to sleep-visit her in her world, where she’s full-sized. Third, Our Chibi Demon Gal’s intro is completely different, with her initially showing up as full-sized fan-service with a vicious streak. Fourth, Crush-chan hasn’t even wandered over to say hello yet, but he’s already had a meet-cute in the dungeon with Our Hot Naginata Gal. Fifth, in her own world, Sylphy has a hot twintailed dark-elf maid (Luceria is living in a tree, and not in a good way).

Oh, and chibi Sylphy has huge barely-restrained boobs.

(and, yes, the safe behind his bed actually makes sense in the manga, because he stores the servant cards in it)

Loner Harem, episode 10

This week felt both rushed and padded. Rushed, in that the clock is ticking on a monster stampede wiping out the town, but padded with a bunch of exposition and as-you-know-bob.

By the way, if the dungeon that Our Hijacked Heroes are currently in is the source of the stampede, how exactly are the monsters getting out, and how did Our Local Noble Gal and her single escort casually stroll through 54 floors to reach Our Class Rep to pass on the warning? This isn’t even a fridge moment, it’s absurd the moment they suggest it: “we need to send a warning to the gang clearing the dungeon, but we can’t spare anyone from the defense, so we’ll send the squishy girl, but she’s scared, so we’ll send one of the guys we can’t spare with her”.

Anyway, with two episodes left, I’m guessing Our Loner Hero will be quietly relaxing in the bath as the final credits roll when His New Girlfriend comes in to scrub his back, and he’ll finally get to see what he’s created.

Verdict: shouting, with occasional speedlines and pacing issues. FYI, I reviewed the first light novel, and the original count of students was 43; 12 got murdered before Loner killed Math Nerd, leaving 20 girls, 9 boys, and Loner. The anime hasn’t ever shown all 30 on-screen that I can recall, likely for budget reasons, which is also why the stampede defense force consists of about six guys.

(official cover art; come on, fan-artists, get with the program)

Cosplay Harem, episode 22

Daddy got his groove back. Also his wife. Our Cosplay Champions take a day to enjoy the show, with cameos from the entire Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pantsu. Then only Our Oblivious Couple shows up for the final day, so they end up thrilling the crowd with a costumed-couple cosplay date that gets both of them so close to acquiring a clue, until A New Challenger Appears and it turns into a non-canon threesome sure to incite fan-art. Next week, we get a beach episode, and hopefully Our Hot Teacher will come along to chaperone in a barely-there bikini.

Verdict: this gave off quite a few end-of-season vibes, so it was a pleasant surprise that it’s not over.

(but what was Mikarin thinking, wandering around on day 3 without her disguise? She is still a famous model)

Magical Working Girls, episode 9

It’s crunch time! With the fate of Tokyo Big Sight at stake, Our Introverted Engineer discovers the power of networking, both professional and wireless.

And then the plot thickens, with Our Magical Crossplaying Boss sharing an ominous moment with Our Greedy CEO.

Verdict: the flashback breaks the tension of last week’s cliffhanger, but it all works out.

GGO 2, episode 9

You’ll never believe this, but in the flash-forward to the next event (which is finally in a different format), Our Chibi Heroine is running around in a panic as the bullets fly. So, same-old same-old.

The good news is that this is followed by a real-world get-together of the Get LLENN club, consisting of the cute middle-schoolers behind the Amazon avatars. They are, of course, plotting their revenge in her apartment while munching on her snacks. I’ll quickly skip over the real-world relationship-building between Crazypants And Her Sub to get to the good part: Karen goes home to hang out with family and friends, and ends up sharing a bed with Her Gal Friday while wearing tight little booty shorts. Actual Karen-service for the win!

Once the event starts, Exposition Gal provides both service and an infodump; the game producers definitely know their audience. Next week, combat. This week, a new ED animation and song, both of which sucked.

Verdict: I’d have appreciated more downtime, but the reality is that since they started a new event, they’ll have to finish it in the next three episodes, leaving little time for more reality.

Echoes of Wisdom, main quest complete

Finally got back to this after two busy work weeks and a whole lot of Thanksgiving cleaning and prep. For the final dungeon, you have to give up all the skills you gained from using Link’s weapons (which means you should also ditch all the energy-restoring potions in your inventory) and puzzle your way to a really annoying boss fight.

It’s not difficult, just tedious, to the point that I ran out of patience with the repetitive combat (grab item, drag it, wait for Link to cut it) just as it reached the final round. At no point was it a fun fight where you could cleverly use all the echoes you’ve acquired.

The reward? A very long, completely unskippable cutscene and credits roll. This is not the first time I’ve wished for a quality-of-life update for this game:

1. add volume control for music, with OFF option
2. add faster text and more skip options
3. drastically speed up item crafting
4. add a don’t-grab-friendlies option, even if just for boss fights