Cheesecake Vault, January 2019

Wed 6/28/23 10:23pm

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Cheesecake

First pass through this month’s archives knocked out 3/4 of the pics; eliminating another 2/3 in the second pass brought it down to a reasonable size.

Waifu Drop

I may try to watch “stuck at level 1 with amazing loot rolls” for minor amusement, mostly for the bunny-suited bunnygirl. Other than that, the primary (ludicrous) twist on the usual isekai formula is not how Our Hero exploits gamelike abilities in a generic fantasy world, it’s the fact that everything in that world comes directly from dungeon drops. Including the air they breathe.

Between this and Vending Machine, I may laugh this season. I may also laugh at Atelier Thighza if the fan-service in the actual show is as over-the-stocking-top as the trailer; I’ll find out Saturday.

(unrelated bunnygirl is unrelated, due to the near-total lack of fan-art of this series that has 7 novels and 10 manga volumes…)

TotK Hylian Shield

Forget the clickbait articles (and there are many, most filled with obnoxious ads and dubious Javascript) telling you how to get to the Hylian Shield early in the game. You don’t need to eat a ton of stamina boosts and glide to the Serutabomac shrine, and you don’t need to go in through the Docks and avoid/fight Baby’s First Gloom Hands.

Enter from the ground, work your way around the spoiler under the castle toward the Northeast corner until you reach a section of wall due south of the top of the waterfall, and look for a cobblestone path leading directly into the spoiler, at (-0137, 1089, 0079). If you walk off the ledge at that location, there’s a cave entrance directly behind you, and you can just walk down a short flight of stairs, light the bonfire, and grab the shield.

If you already visited the shrine, you can also easily glide to this location by going around to the back and jumping off the southeast corner.

Now, if you want to get the Master Sword early, you’ll need two full stamina wheels, a wing with two fans (and maybe a battery if you don’t have much power, or a nice rocket shield), and a whole lot of patience, because the best way to reach it is to go to the southern tip of the island you woke up on and look to the east. The spoiler will first appear to the right of Zonaite Forge Island, moving left. It will make a 180° turn, and as soon as you have a full starboard broadside view, launch your wing and head for the nearest point. Once you’re on board, pick up a few souvenirs as you head to the front, and then draw the sword.

You might have to wait as long as two full hours of real not-in-a-menu play time for it to appear, so bring along a good book.

(or a bad book, I won’t judge you…)

Stupid Moderator Tricks

“Hey, if we mark ‘our’ subreddit NSFW, those assholes can’t sell ad space, and we can go back to business as usual! Of course, we’re still blocking search engine traffic, and now we’re keeping kids from asking questions about the most popular Nintendo Switch game of the year, but you’ve got to break a few omelots to lay an egg!”