Your cat’s an asshole:
Speaking of cats, I haven’t had any hanging out on my porch for quite a while, but walking up to the house Friday night, I heard a series of loud, distressed-sounding meows coming from near my porch. I looked over and found a large, rather attractive kitty walking along the fence. To my surprise, he responded to my kissy noises by coming over to say hello, and I rewarded this behavior with a package of the leftover wet food from when I had regular visitors.
He was healthy, well-groomed, and wore a collar, so it wasn’t too surprising that he let me pet him. He hasn’t come back for skritches or handouts, so I’m guessing he’s a mostly-indoor cat who got away from his wranglers for a little while.
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