Crawl back under your rock, you slimy little worm.

From: Jerry Brown
Subject: Let's not let Arizona bandits steal our democracy

Dear John,

In just a few days, Californians will decide whether to vote yes or no on Proposition 30. A no vote means a shortened school year, laid-off teachers, crowded classrooms, and higher tuition. A yes vote means we can avoid all those things. It seems like a no-brainer to me, yet we find ourselves in a very close race.

The problem is, there are some anti-tax zealots out there who are so rich they think they can buy this vote. They've sunk tens of millions of dollars of their personal fortunes into a shameless propaganda campaign to defeat Prop 30.

Last week, we found out something even worse. Someone's been using a phony non-profit in Arizona to funnel money from unnamed donors into our state. Under California law, you have a right to know who's spending money to influence our state's elections.

Who are these guys? Are they foreigners? That's illegal. Are they Californians using Arizona to hide from their own state's sunshine laws? Also illegal. The situation appears so suspicious that the Fair Political Practices Commission has filed a lawsuit to make them give up their names.

But that's going to take a while, and our schools need saving now.

Let's not let Arizona bandits steal our democracy.

Let's step up and meet these masked men, dollar for dollar, and keep spreading the truth about Proposition 30.

[donation URLs deleted, because these lying SOBs don't deserve another fucking dime of taxpayer money]

Yours truly,

Jerry Brown

Um, wow.

Romney: "When the president took office, the price of gasoline here in Nassau County was about $1.86 a gallon. Now, it's $4.00 a gallon."

Obama: "Well, think about what the governor--- think about what the governor just said. He said when I took office, the price of gasoline was $1.80, $1.86. Why is that? Because the economy was on the verge of collapse, because we were about to go through the worst recession since the Great Depression, as a consequence of some of the same policies that Governor Romney's now promoting. So, it's conceivable that Governor Romney could bring down gas prices because with his policies, we might be back in that same mess."

Note to self: when planning to spend 5 hours a day for 3 days swinging a sword and shouting, in an indifferently-ventilated garage where the air approaches body temperature, remember that water, iced tea, and cheeseburgers are inefficient methods of restoring electrolyte balance.

How to make money at a Steve Perlman company: be Steve Perlman.

How to get screwed at a Steve Perlman company: not be Steve Perlman.

The now-former employees of OnLive are the latest to learn this lesson.

[Update: this explains a lot: “If you’ve got 8,000 servers and 1,600 users, how could we ever get to cash flow positive, right?”]

From the recently-released Modern Bushido by Toshishiro Obata:

Uesugi Yōzan (1751–1822) was the second son of the daimyō of the modest Akizuki clan; when he married into the larger, related Yonezawa-han, he eventually succeeded the clan leader as the ninth-generation head. When he came to power, however, he inherited an ailing and destitute clan — the Yonezawa-han was deeply indebted and nearly bankrupt, and lacked the means to reverse its fortune.

Yōzan therefore proposed sweeping reforms in civics and industry within the clan, which met fierce opposition from seven obdurate retainers. Not to be stymied in fulfilling his leadership duties, Yōzan had these retainers promptly executed, and quickly set his plan into motion.

His plan was threefold: revitalize the economy, develop new industry, and reform the people’s education and thinking. He prioritized economization and saving for the future, reducing his retainers’ salaries and managing the clan’s expenses frugally; in this, he led by example, reducing his own salary from 1,500 to 209 ryō, trimming his personal attendants from 50 to 9, and relinquishing luxuries like costly food or fine clothes in favor of simpler necessities.

He created many new industries for the clan, such as koi farming, benibana [safflower] farming, silkworm farming, and yonezawa-ori [high-quality woven silk] production. Yōzan also improved the infrastructure of the clan domain, building roads, clearing land for rice fields, cultivating millions of trees for paper production, and so on. Yōzan renovated social policy, instituting the principles of jijo (self-help and self-reliance), gojo (cooperation and mutual aid), and fujo (government aid and support), as well as fukushi (welfare for the elderly).

During the Tenmei famine, the success of Yōzan’s efforts was shown in vivid relief; neighboring clans suffered severe casualties due to disease and starvation, but the Yonezawa, though similarly surviving off of very few resources, experienced no casualties, and no one abandoned the han out of desperation, as was occuring in other clans.

The shogunate later declared Yonezawa a model of excellent governance. To this day, Uesugi Yōzan is considered one of the greatest leaders in history for his use of chi [wisdom] to save his clan.

Judging from the backlash, I’m guessing that the assault on Chick-fil-A just set back the gay-rights movement about five years.

Judging from the responses to the backlash, they plan to keep digging.

Pro tip: when framing your opponents as intolerant hate-filled bigots, try not to showcase your own hatred, intolerance, and bigotry.

Another own-goal from the Obama campaign.

Got a birthday, anniversary, or wedding coming up?

Let your friends know how important this election is to you—register with Obama 2012, and ask for a donation in lieu of a gift. It’s a great way to support the President on your big day. Plus, it’s a gift that we can all appreciate—and goes a lot further than a gravy bowl.

I’d file it as “humor”, but this is an official statement from the campaign site, which henceforth shall be known as Clowncar 2012.