Dear Apple,

Oh, hell no!

Good news, Apple users! The mothership has released critical security updates this week for all platforms.

Bad news, iOS users! If your device supports iOS 13, you can’t get the update to 12.4.2, and have to accept all the new bugs and brokenness in 13.1.

iOS 12.4.2
Released September 26, 2019
Available for: iPhone 5s, iPhone 6, iPhone 6 Plus, iPad Air, iPad mini 2, iPad mini 3, and iPod touch 6th generation

Impact: A remote attacker may be able to cause unexpected application termination or arbitrary code execution

iOS 13.1 and iPadOS 13.1
Released September 24, 2019
Available for: iPhone 6s and later, iPad Air 2 and later, iPad mini 4 and later, and iPod touch 7th generation

Impact: A person with physical access to an iOS device may be able to access contacts from the lock screen

The watch updates are similarly fucked.


If you update your iOS devices to 13.1.1 (yes, 13.1 lasted only a few days before they figured out it sucked, too), not all of the iCloud functionality is compatible with Macs running Mojave. You must upgrade to Catalina (which hasn’t been released yet, and which is likely buggy as hell; the betas certainly were) to get everything to sync cleanly again.

9/30 Update

…and here’s iOS 13.1.2, fixing Even More Bugs. It’s almost like they knew they were inflicting buggy crap on millions of customers and didn’t care.

No, wait, it’s exactly like they inflicted buggy crap on millions of customers and didn’t care.

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