One from the vaults

A long time ago, in a Usenet newsgroup far, far away, in response to a post on “Top Ten Reasons Magic is Better than Sex”, I wrote:

  • Magic requires no foreplay; you can just grab a partner and start playing.
  • you can switch opponents as often as you like, and no one will mind.
  • brutally beating your partner is okay.
  • Protection really works.
  • Magic comes with a rulebook.
  • parents don’t go crazy when they catch their children playing Magic with the neighbor’s kid.
  • you don’t feel insecure if you have a little deck.
  • you can play Magic while eating a sandwich.
  • any number of people can play in a game of Magic, and everyone gets a turn.
  • if your deck just isn’t working, you can blame it on the shuffle.
  • Tom Wylie is easier to understand than Doctor Ruth.
  • when you pay for Magic, you’re guaranteed of a good time.
  • you can always get your partner to play Magic with you in public.
  • you can shuffle your deck as much as you want.
  • your partner can shuffle your deck, too.
  • when you buy Magic, you know it’s fresh from the factory.
  • when you get tired of a deck, you can make a better one.
  • your neighbors won’t mind if you watch them play Magic.
  • it’s okay to play Magic with your sister.
  • you don’t need a battery-powered shuffler, but it’s easier than using your hands.
  • you don’t have to tell your current partner about everyone you’ve ever played with.
  • if you quit playing Magic and sell all of your cards, you can probably afford sex.

(I dug this out because I found the old “recently-spotted” link where someone had translated them all into Spanish. Link was still good, to my surprise.)

Comments via Isso

Markdown formatting and simple HTML accepted.

Sometimes you have to double-click to enter text in the form (interaction between Isso and Bootstrap?). Tab is more reliable.