A long time ago, in a Usenet
far, far away, in response to a post on “Top Ten Reasons Magic is
Better than Sex”, I wrote:
- Magic requires no foreplay; you can just grab a partner and start
- you can switch opponents as often as you like, and no one will
- brutally beating your partner is okay.
- Protection really works.
- Magic comes with a rulebook.
- parents don’t go crazy when they catch their children playing
Magic with the neighbor’s kid.
- you don’t feel insecure if you have a little deck.
- you can play Magic while eating a sandwich.
- any number of people can play in a game of Magic, and everyone
gets a turn.
- if your deck just isn’t working, you can blame it on the shuffle.
- Tom Wylie is easier to understand than Doctor Ruth.
- when you pay for Magic, you’re guaranteed of a good time.
- you can always get your partner to play Magic with you in public.
- you can shuffle your deck as much as you want.
- your partner can shuffle your deck, too.
- when you buy Magic, you know it’s fresh from the factory.
- when you get tired of a deck, you can make a better one.
- your neighbors won’t mind if you watch them play Magic.
- it’s okay to play Magic with your sister.
- you don’t need a battery-powered shuffler, but it’s easier than
using your hands.
- you don’t have to tell your current partner about everyone you’ve
ever played with.
- if you quit playing Magic and sell all of your cards, you can
probably afford sex.
(I dug this out because I found the old “recently-spotted” link where
someone had translated them all into Spanish. Link was still good, to
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