Most popular Japanese spam subject line

I tend to toss my Japanese spam into a folder and then try to read it when I’m feeling bored. I’ve commented in the past about trends where 90% of the stuff all falls into the same category for a while, but I recently noticed one particular subject line that’s been showing up at least twice a month for the past six months:


The SYSTRANS-based Apple translation widget’s English is amusing, but quite wrong: “The human wife and secret isn’t relation made?”. Google and Bing produce the exact same slightly-wrong translation: “You do not make a secret relationship with married woman?”

The thing that G&B missed is that this sort of negative question means “wouldn’t you like to”, and neither one of them lets me flag the error. Google has a very clever UI for suggesting corrections, but it’s quite shallow, limited to rearranging and selecting alternate interpretations for individual words; you can’t select between different grammar patterns. Worse, you can only flag the translation as good, bad, or inappropriate; there’s no “right words, wrong meaning” button, suggesting that literal conversion is valued over accuracy.

Anyway, back to the spam. The sender and contents that go with this subject line aren’t always identical, but being spam, there are only a few variations. Because G&B got so close on the subject line, I decided to see what one of them could do with the rest, and the results were so entertaining I think I’ll leave them as-is.

Senders (all Yahoo JP addresses):


Bing translations:

Absolutely free milfs call shelter
Socializing a sexless wife
Desire frustrated married woman haunt, click here.
Is a young wife who's secret hiding place.
Nympho housewife who will come to your home.
[The yobai Club]-completely free
Secret affair circle of his estate, click here.
"Man eater of his estate-completely free"

The most interesting thing here is that “yobai” (夜這い, “creeping at night into a woman’s bedroom; sneaking visit”) is left untranslated. Second would be translating the same word “hitozuma” as “milf”, “wife”, “married woman”, and “housewife”.

Body 1:

それが当コミュニティ『Secret Wife』です。


(C)人妻呼び出し待合所 ~Secret Wife~

Bing translation:

The married woman suffering from serious SEX for shelter,
It is our community's Secret Wife".
"My husband and sexless life long..."
"It's against my husband not happy with..." etc.
Such married woman who is number registered in our community!
If you want to meet and a married woman to use this community come.

※ Is seriously you guys housewife looking for friends of Ah, but underneath
So such things without breaking the home the most important thing is to be Ah, but underneath
Understand that part of the talk please proceed.

(C) married woman call shelter to Secret Wife ~

Body 2:



Bing translation:

-Overview of the circle-
Nympho housewife who at Club will come to your home.
Yobai hope neighborhood women, men only have to wait in a hotel or at home.
You join our Club, or why not been yobai nympho housewife?

(C) the yobai Club

Again with the untranslated “yobai”; this one makes it clear that it’s the women who’ll be making “sneaking visits”, not the men.

Body 3:



Bing translation:

Housing wives affair partners wanted!
One, desire's unhappy wife who immediately certain POV
The straight method / touch by direct telephone contact
Waiting for the one and only reverse NANPA is also
Mrs. neighbors are participating...

Man Eater (C) apartment wife-completely free of charge-

I think “reverse nanpa” (nanpa = “seduction; picking up women”) is second only to “reverse enjo” on my list of Most Charming Delusions of Japanese Men.