You’re a fresh, pretty young girl, and I’m sure you have a bright career ahead of you in the idol business.

Seriously, if you weren’t still on the dangerous side of sixteen, you’d already be breaking my heart.

However, there’s something very important that you need to know about your career: you work for Hello!Project, and where other talent agencies are content with using up fresh, pretty young girls as if they were tissue paper, H!P takes a more comprehensive approach to destroying souls. Just ask fellow member Risa Niigaki: