When delivering a package to someone’s house that requires a signature, do not gently tap on their front door, wait 12.7 seconds, and then leave a little note. Doorbells were invented for a reason, and if you’re unable to locate them, it’s possible to put a little oomph in your knocking. Done properly, the customer who’s spent the entire day at home waiting for you will not be forced to drive 20 miles to your depot to claim his package.

I might be more forgiving if this were the first offense, but you’ve done this to me several times this year, and the only suggestion you’ve offered is “sign a waiver so I can leave packages without a signature”. Not being a fool, I refuse to consider this a viable solution.

Besides, I remember when you pulled the same stunt a few years ago, and decided to deliver my expensive new computer to a neighbor across the street whom I’d never met, without leaving a note on my door…

Love, J

PS: the formal complaint is in the mail.

[update: after all that hassle, the item being shipped turned out to be bad, and now has to be returned. Sigh.]