Spammers For Jesus

Apparently that ends-justifies-the-means thing isn’t just for sinners any more. Actually, now that I think about it, spam-witnesses are less annoying than the ones who show up at my door with vacant stares, carrying logic-free tracts that proclaim “science textbooks are for burning.”

Update: and another one! Apparently spam-witnessing is sufficiently different that it evades my Bayesian spam filtering. A bit more of this tripe, though, and I’m sure it will decide that “Jesus”, “church”, and “Bible” are just as spammy as “penis” and “Viagra”. If that’s what they want, I don’t mind.

By the way, if God is actually stupid enough to want mindless prayers like the one this clown promises will save me, I’d rather be damned. And a hearty “nyah, nyah” to the twerps who get all warm and fuzzy from the thought that they’ve accomplished something with this email masturbation. If their cause was worthwhile, they’d be pursuing it honestly.

From Sat Feb  7 01:10:40 2004
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From: "Delores Darnell" <>
Subject: Want to live forever
Date: Thu, 05 Feb 2004 12:42:04 -0700
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Dont put your soul at risk.
Accept God into your life while you have time.
Contact a local church or prayerline today.
He is real do not be in Hell when you realize it!
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From Mon Feb  9 05:54:04 2004
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If your not saved you need to be.
Eternity is too long tome.
Do not spend it in hell.
Contact a local church or call a prayer line today do not put it off.
This prayer can save you:
Say, "Oh God, save my soul. I'm so sorry that I have sinned against you, but I have come home. I will serve you, Lord, the rest of my life. Deliver me from all my sinful habits. Set me free! I do believe Jesus died on Calvary for me, and I believe in His blood, that there is power in His blood to wash away all my sins, all my sins!" Say, "Come into my heart, Jesus; come on in, Jesus. Come on in!"
If you meant it, He has come. If you meant it, Jesus is yours. Start reading your Bible, pray daily and believe that somebody's listening; His name is Jesus