“It was very difficult to get the Irish girls to expose their breasts.”

—Insightful commentary from John Boorman, director of Zardoz

Wednesday, January 18 2017

The answer, of course, is “no”

Found in my spam folder. I haven’t seen one of these in quite a few years, and then only in English (admittedly, some of my Chinese spam may have contained similar offers, but usually those are about infected zip/excel/pdf files).

Subject: Artikelanfrage für dotclue.org

Hallo J Greely,

für meine Kunden suche ich hochwertige Artikelplätze mit thematischem Bezug. Ein konkretes Interesse meines Kunden auf Ihrer Seite zu buchen besteht bereits. So bin ich auf Ihre Seite aufmerksam geworden. Ich würde gern bei Ihnen einen thematisch passenden Artikel buchen.

Ich liefere Ihnen gern einen sehr hochwertigen und professionell geschriebenen Text, welcher von meiner hauptberuflichen Redakteurin aufwendig recherchiert und getextet wird. Alternativ können Sie aber auch gern den Text verfassen. Der Text sollte mindestens 2 Jahre online bleiben.

Bieten Sie so etwas an? Können Sie mir bitte ein Beispiel und Ihren Preis mailen?

Haben Sie evtl. noch weitere Seiten, auf denen so etwas möglich ist?

Ich danke Ihnen für Ihr Feedback.

Tuesday, January 17 2017

Best Shooting Glasses?

I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that these are slightly less than legit:

BEST Shooting Glasses UV Blacklight Flashlight Yellow Safety Eye protection by iLumen8. See Dog Cat Urine with Amber Black Lights Night Vision Ultraviolet

Seriously, one of the included accessories is a “Crush Resistant Storage Box”. It’s a cardboard box with a logo sticker on it.

There are a number of short, oddly-written five-star reviews, too.

In an honest universe…

…today’s headlines would simply have read, “Mentally Ill Spy Wins Early Release”.

Monday, January 16 2017

The last thing you’ll ever see…

(via)

Saturday, January 14 2017

Drunker on the inside…

(original source lost; image search turns up a bunch of fake blogs filled with text and pictures stolen from other sites and randomly thrown together, sigh)

Friday, January 13 2017

Cheesecake: bunny ears

Can you imagine what the world would be like today if Hef had gone with his original “stag” logo and theme? Antlers just don’t have the same impact. Then again, as our lead bunny-girl’s companion illustrates, what if he’d gone with a kitten theme and started the catgirl revolution decades early?

(Continued on Page 5036)

Thursday, January 12 2017

Acurite 5-in-1 Weather Station

So, someone got me one of these for my birthday, and I finally got around to building a stand for the outdoor sensor (basically an oversized tameshigiri stand made with pressure-treated lumber).

A promised feature was remote access to your data through an iOS/Android app, so I downloaded the app …and it didn’t work. Surprise! You have to:

  1. register your purchase online (and the form wouldn’t let me hit Submit until I added demographic data…),
  2. plug the USB cable on the indoor sensor into a computer,
  3. download and run their PC/Mac app in the background,
  4. and leave your computer on at all times to report the data.

I have two words for that, and the first one starts with “F”.

So, delete the Mac app, delete the iPhone app, unplug the cable, and now I have a standalone weather station. Oh, well, at least it wasn’t an Internet of Things Thing that sat on my wireless and took orders from The Cloud.

Update: now that the sun is down, I can report that the backlighting on the screen is bright. I won’t be needing a nightlight downstairs any more.

Wednesday, January 11 2017

Weasels gonna weasel

Lying under oath to steal children: was that wrong? should we not have done that?

Trott: You mean to tell us due process is consistent with a government official submitting perjured testimony and false evidence? How is that consistent? I mean I hate to get pumped up about this but I’m just staggered by the claim that people in the shoes of your clients wouldn’t be on notice that you can’t use perjury and false evidence to take away somebody’s children. That to me is mind boggling.

Lin: In criminal proceedings we know this to be true because . . .

Trott: No, no! It’s a court proceeding with a liberty interest, a fundamental liberty interest at stake.

Lin: And on the reverse side . . .

Trott: And you’re telling us that these officials [weren’t] on notice that you can’t commit perjury and put in false evidence?

Lin: I understand broadly the principle that common sense tells us that lying is wrong and lying to . . .

Tuesday, January 10 2017

I saw the ocean…

…and the ocean sawed back.

Teeth of the sea, Patrice Carré

(by Patrice Carré, via)

Saturday, January 7 2017

Dear Hello!Project Costume Designers,


Actually, instead of discussing the feathers, can I ask what she’s doing with that microphone?

Kaede Kaga tickles the mic

Okay, now we can talk feathers. Clearly these outfits are left over from your canceled musical, “The Dirty Pair Blows Up Vegas”.

Dirty Pair with feathers

Monday, January 2 2017

Dear Apple,

Remember when Preview.app was a solid, reliable tool for working with images and PDF files? Yeah, didn’t think so.

Please stop gutting Mac software to achieve feature parity with iPads.

(and the correct answer is “OS X 10.6.8, like pretty much everything else you’ve screwed up in the past five years”)

Guess who brought the ducks?

Doctor X - freelance surgeon

(from Doctor-X, a tv series about a sexy freelance surgeon; via)

Friday, December 30 2016

Cheesecake Champloo

For these posts, I’m typically scanning about 5-10 times as many thumbnails as I view at full size, then only downloading maybe 3/4 of those. I keep doing that until I have around 40-50 images, which I edit down to 20-25. Which means my leftovers folder has at least 15 images from each set, plus some from keywords that didn’t work out. In other words, ~250 pictures that are good enough to post but lacking a coherent theme. A chanpurū, if you will.

(Continued on Page 5028)

Saturday, December 24 2016

Workholding

Okay, I think I’ve designed enough clamps for the threaded table now…

Nomad clamping with wedges and vises

That 3x4 block of lino isn’t going anywhere.

Nomad clamps in action

[About time, too, since the carpet tape that came with the Nomad finally let go of a small piece as it was being cut out. I thought I had a bit of onion-skin holding it in place, but apparently my board wasn’t quite as flat as expected. No harm done, and I just had to make the cutout toolpath a bit shallower and run it again for the remaining pieces. I might try the Crimson Guitars method the next time I feel like taping something to the wasteboard.]

Wednesday, December 21 2016

Predicting the future, The Marvel Way


Trapped in a world a comic book writer made!

Howard the Duck #1, November 4, 2015

Given that this was before Trump won the nomination, the writer probably thought it was just the right level of absurd joke the HtD comics were known for.

Campaign Strategy

Why does this animated GIF remind me of the recent election?

(Continued on Page 5025)

Sunday, December 18 2016

Cheesecake: santa costume

7 days ago was my birthday (50th, as it happens) and 7 days from now is Christmas, so it’s time for a special triple-length cheesecake post, and the theme is naughty and nice anime girls riding the sleigh, hurrying down the chimney, jingling bells, making merry, raising spirits, putting lumps in stockings, visiting the north pole, unwrapping their presents, and giving joy to the world. Some of those are euphemisms, but as usual, you’ll have to do your own Gelbooru searches to find the more intimate images.

While searching, I came across the following wonderfully clueless comment on this image:

“removing zettai_ryouiki, she is nowhere to be found in this picture, please don’t mistag”

Apparently he didn’t realize he was soaking in it.

(Continued on Page 5024)

That’s an odd one…

Latest update to the MarsEdit blogging tool includes this fix:

Work around a crash that could occur when waking from sleep on a Touch Bar-enabled Mac.

Sounds like the shiny new solution-in-search-of-a-problem hardware wasn’t thoroughly tested before shipping.

Friday, December 16 2016

Of course they do!

Marvel tailoring

(file this under “fun with Marvel Unlimited”)

Wednesday, December 14 2016

Cheesecake: nurse

Yes, it’s true: the most common adjective associated with nurses is ‘naughty’, and Gelbooru contributors firmly embrace this. So much so that I had to pass over quite a few, especially the ones that involved equipment less wholesome than stethoscopes and syringes…

(Continued on Page 5020)
“Need a clue, take a clue; got a clue, leave a clue.”