With widespread reports of violence, vandalism, and vast despair, it’s important for those of us not currently going through the five stages of grief to help the devastated deal with defeat.

As they act out on Twitter, Facebook, and CNN, remember this important truth about wrist-slitting:

Across is for attention, Down is for death.

99% of what we’re seeing right now is Across. They’re not going to leave the US or follow through on their death threats, they’re just going to have a two-year tantrum and then try to retake the House and Senate.