Despite the manifest failure of the pollsters to predict the result of yesterday’s election with any accuracy, today’s news is still filled with poll-fueled “explanations” of Bush’s victory.

I was never polled. There were no exit pollsters present at my designated voting location. There were also no monitors, observers, challengers, organizers, protesters, reporters, etc, etc. Just voters.

So, before you start believing the conclusions of the same pundits who were dead wrong yesterday, consider this Bush voter:

• Native Ohioan, current Californian.
• Age 37.
• Single.
• Straight.
• Atheist.
• Vaguely white (Native American, but never cared enough to fill out the required paperwork; also Polish, French, German, English, Irish, etc).
• Speaks some French and German, currently learning Japanese, lives in largely Spanish-speaking community.
• College-educated.
• Employed, earning over $100,000/year.
• Rode out the tech bubble just fine, thanks.
• Fiscally conservative.
• Believes in absolute equality of opportunity for all.
• Strongly supports war in Iraq.
• Strongly opposed previous war in Iraq.
• Frequent Libertarian voter.
• Voted for Schwarzenegger.
• Homeowner.
• Telecommuter.
• Pro-gay.
• Pro-gun.
• Pro-choice.
• Pro-drug-legalization.
• Pro-America.
• Pro-immigrant.
• Pro-diversity.
• Pro-environment.
• Anti-ecoterrorist.
• Pro-animal.
• Anti-PETA.
• Pro-hunting.
• Non-hunter.
• Passionately despises cigarette smoke.
• Pro-smoker's-rights.
• Pro-tort-reform.
• Motorcycle rider.
• Pin-up photographer.
• Adult products consumer.
• Habitual reader.
• SF fan.
• Anime fan.
• Comics fan.
• Music fan.
• Music purchaser.
• iPod owner.
• Mac user.
• PC user.
• Gamer.
• Poker player.
• Casino gambler.
• Dislikes beer and wine.
• Collects single-malt scotch.
• Enjoys cooking.
• Eats red meat.
• Dislikes organized sports.
• Hosts Superbowl party every year.
• Always carries a pocket knife.
• Always carries a Zippo.
• Has been on Internet since the Eighties.
• Goes barefoot or wears sandals whenever possible.
• Does not own a suit.
• Has not worn a suit in twelve years.
• Has shared breakfast with Hugh Hefner, at the Playboy Mansion.
• Doesn't much care for kids, but gives away Halloween candy by the half-pound to every little monster who stops by.
• Will drive 1,000 miles in a single day rather than take a plane, out of disgust for current airport "security" policies.

Kerry/Edwards never had a chance at my vote.

Now, Zell on the other hand…