Forced cleaning

Thanksgiving will be at my house… next week?!? Time for some serious housework, at least in the public areas. I could call in a maid service, but I don’t think they have any Mysterious ones.

…and don’t call me Shirley

FYI, Anne of Green Gables has long been quite popular in Japan, one of the few things my friend Dan knew about the country (having spent time dealing with tour groups to Prince Edward in his misspent youth). So it shouldn’t be a surprise that there will be a new anime series next spring. From the brief description, it sounds like it will run for multiple cours.

(not planning to watch it; I’d rather have more Frieren)

Amazon Primer

The most useful announcement in this streaming roundup is that Amazon is folding Freevee into Prime, which means that I’ll finally be able to watch the newer Bosch seasons without ads. It never made sense to me that there was no way to watch Freevee shows without ads, no matter how much you paid the mothership each month.

Well below the fold is the announcement that Apple is losing a fortune on AppleTV+ and is trying to license their $20 billion in original productions to other services. Which means I might finally watch some of them. Now if only Disney and HBO would do the same…

(the only time I ever see television ads is when I’m in the barber chair, and it feels like Alex’s “treatment” scene in A Clockwork Orange; Amazon often tries to sneak one in when you start watching a show on Prime even if you pay the ad-free premium, but you can skip it)

Separate Rubbers

I mute every xTwitter account that displays an ad on my timeline, except for the truly obnoxious ones, which I block. They don’t provide any real management tools for these lists, so I can’t say how many accounts I’ve muted, but with an average of one ad for every 3 tweets viewed, it’s easily several thousand. Most are for products I’d never buy, sites I’d never visit, and people who wrongly think they have something to say that’s worth paying for, but many just seem like desperate cries for help.

Honestly, the one I came closest to engaging with was for an Etsy dealer advertising handmade bedside emergency condom boxes, and my only interest was in finding out if they were deliberately using the word “discrete” instead of “discreet” to name their product (and it was not a one-off typo).

Our Awesome Chocolate Bunny is allowed to get shouty when last week’s super-rare loot is delivered. Our Half-Dressed Hero’s overreaction is inevitable as well, especially when he catches up to what everyone in the audience figured out weeks ago: he can’t wear the powered suits just like he can’t wear regular armor.

Anyway, Our Lovestruck Cutie appears in the real world just long enough to remind us that she’s in the cast, and then it’s off to a completely different game that we currently have no investment in.

Verdict: giant robots = nothing but CG fights until this arc ends?

(this is not the last time the story will move to another game, sidelining Our NPC Bunnies)

Loner Harem, episode 8

What could possibly go wrong with allowing Our Loner Hero to acquire a “pheromone ring”? The question is mooted, however, when his extremely high luck sends him straight to the bottom of the dungeon to battle a Level 100 lich. Continued next week.

Verdict: they kinda cheated on the intro, but with only four weeks to go, they really need to bring in the last major character of the season.

(Leafa-chan is unrelated and not the least bit skeletal)

Poorly Conceived Dragon Harem, episode 7

Badly-staged full-episode battle with shouty scenery-chewing villains and long chatty lulls in the action, off-character art by the B team, melodramatic to-be-continued with surprise guest entrance, and a sexy new monster gal who doesn’t even move, let alone gainax. Oh, and they clumsily foreshadowed that Haremette #2 is more than human.

Verdict: is everyone in this world blind and stupid, not to have even one word to say about Dolan casually swatting down two demon generals while tanking a fallen god? We’re way beyond OP now. There’d better be a bath scene next week with The Goddess Of Skimpy Lingerie (who still hasn’t shown up yet), or I’m quitting. Also, was the fallen god’s line about another Dolan meant to imply that his human parents just happened to pick his original dragon name when he was born? Seriously?

(unrelated dragon gal is better than anything in this show)

Cosplay Harem, episode 20

The Power Of Friendship, Heatstroke, and A Training Montage. And a few LoL moments, including one that sets up Team Liliel’s day-two comeback. Next week, Dad?

Verdict: with all the brutal humid heat and sweating, you might think sexy cosplay outfits would become sticky and translucent, but you’d be watching a different show.

Magical Working Girls, episode 7

Our Collaborating Cuties are way out of their league, and as Cuddly Noob starts to panic, Cool Beauty smiles through the pain and calms her down just in time for the cavalry to arrive. In the form of Our Emotionless Super Pro, who handles the mutated monster so effortlessly that it triggers a quickly-resolved crisis of confidence.

Verdict: it’s a good thing that the monsters aren’t terribly aggressive, giving Our Heroines plenty of time to talk things over while they work. Bonus points for giving Robo-Pro a bluntly practical tech-wand.

GGO2, episode 7

This week, Our Psychotic Betrayer betrays the Betrayers, and if you didn’t see that coming, you weren’t paying attention. Although as much of a letdown as this season has been, you’re forgiven for not following it closely.

Verdict: with all the issues this sequel has, what’s the #1 thing they’re doing wrong? Not showing the actual people interacting. After only a brief real-world intro, it’s taking place entirely in the game, throwing away most of the character-building from the first season.

January: Isekai Slow Life With Amazon Prime And Catgirls

Jungle-cat girls, even, plus a busty blonde and a loli. One of the catgirls shares her voice with Bilac (and many other characters I’ve liked), the other has an extensive career in shows I never watched, and the busty blonde has previously adventured as Maple and Lammis (and also had lead roles in Iroduku, Zombie Land Saga, Wandering Witch, etc). Our Shopping Hero’s voice is instantly recognizable, since he basically has only one, and even the loli has street cred as Endro’s Mao-chan-sensei, so they’re hiring some actual talent for what looks on the surface like yet-another-cheat-isekai.

The Wrong Stuff

I ordered 5 boxes of 44 Special to feed to my GP-100. I received 5 boxes of 44 Magnum, which I can only feed to my T/C Contender, one at a time. Fortunately the seller promptly sent me an RMA number and return shipping label.

Meanwhile, in the Phillipines…

The “U.S. Post” texted me from Manila about a delayed package. Uh-huh, suuuuure they did.

…because The Return Of Maomao will compensate for any number of terrible shows.

Which, off the top of my head, include Salaryman Reborn As A Villainess, Dougiette Houser Medical Detective, Murder Mysteries Of The Dead (actual Japanese title), Gay Vampire Boys, High School Romance With guy-i-hate/childhood-friend/guy-who-said-hi-once/aloof-guy (did I miss any of them?), Secret Office Romance, Loser Skater Girls, Incomprehensible Dream Girl, Isekai Salaryman Demon General, Isekai Sentai Adventurer, Golfing Girl, Lunar Survival Game, The Origin Of Apple Computer With The Serial Numbers Filed Off, Boy With Black Sword, Pretty Boy Idols, Animator’s First Love, and I’m pretty sure I’ve just scratched the surface here.

January: I Ditched My A-Rank Party To Build A Harem

Or something like that (1, 2). The harem consists of Our Mage Hero’s former students: the busty redheaded swords-gal in form-fitting armor, the white-haired tan-elf ranger-gal in hot pants, and the older-than-she-looks priestess-gal who still wears her Not-Hogwarts uniform.

The real twist to the formula seems to be that dungeon adventures are magically live-streamed.

Also January: Two Behemoths And A Kitten

More formally, I’m A Behemoth, An S-Ranked Monster, But Mistaken For A Cat, I Live As An Elf Girl’s Pet, with one of the bustiest bouncing half-naked elf girls in recent memory; Grenadier-scale without the spinning reloads, basically.

(I believe the manga cleans up a lot of the story from the abandoned light novels, which included a lot of references to the author’s earlier unsuccessful isekai series; a single cour is unlikely to get far enough for that to matter, though)

Check your privilege government fridge!

Make sure your butter warns you that it contains milk! And then check your supply of quicklime and canvas, hemp rope, and ammo…

Decimated Democrats: The Missing 10%

I’m looking forward to the Democrats comparing the public voting records for 2020 and 2024 so they can woo back all those Biden voters who decided they didn’t care if Trump won this time and “just stayed home”. I’m sure they’ll announce The Big Search as soon as the official results are certified.

No, really; stop laughing.

Shangri-La Frontier 2, episode 5

One big long fight with decent 2D animation but way too much CGI. Couldn’t be helped, given the nature of the beasties he’s fighting, but I still didn’t get much out of it.

Verdict: remember, he’s doing all of this so that Our Awesome Chocolate Bunny gets her reward… before Our Hero switches to another game for a while, sigh.

MAGGA Country

Make Anime Girls Gainax Again!

Loner Harem, episode 7

The Rise And Fall Of Snidely Whiplash. With hugs and the promise of cute girls helping Our Victorious Loner bathe. Off-camera.

Verdict: The Battle To Save The Class had only one possible outcome, and to get through it we had to hear detailed explanations of how it was done as well as the villain’s backstory. The clumsy parody of a “genius math nerd” made me glad he won’t be a returning character.

(most of the relevant art on Pixiv for this series is from the official cover artist for the light novels; this one is waaaaay down the road from what will happen this season)

OP Dragon Boy’s Harem Hotties, episode 6

Also a dose of Snidely Whiplash this week, with two demon generals monologing and playing with their food. I’ve completely lost interest in Our Really-Still-A-Dragon Hero and whatever the plot was supposed to be, so it’s up to the cute girls to carry this one, and so far they’re staying dressed. They gave plenty of screen time to a brand-new one this week, forgetting to make us care about her before putting her in peril, then ended with a superhero landing as he arrives in the nick of time.

Verdict: eye-rolling train wreck with mild eye candy.

(there is one recognizable fan-drawing of Our Snake Gal on Pixiv, and it’s not actually good)

Cosplay Harem, episode 19

It’s getting hot out there, and not just because Summer Comiket is held in miserable weather. Sadly, Our Hot Teacher is not in costume, and last week’s comment from her was either a mistranslation or a headfake. I mean, she’s technically there, but not exposing luscious flesh. Our Gals are a bit intimidated by the crowd, and Mr Exposition explains why they’re not getting the attention they expected (TL/DR: it’s harder to get a good picture of four girls at the same time), but they’re also facing stiff competition, including The Power Of Twins. Next week, will they rebuild their crowd and get a decent picture livestreamed to Daddy in time for a reunion?

Verdict: plenty of tame eye candy, but the most skin we see is a trap for Our Hero.

Magical Working Girls, episode 6

I am slightly disappointed that the shopping montage did not include a stop at a lingerie store, but Our New Partners finally got to the monster-fighting part of the gig, with a cruel cliffhanger.

Verdict: Our Fashionable Magical Senpai is going to be righteously pissed next week about taking a shot to the face. And I don’t mean in the Kamala-Career-Path way.

GGO 2, episode 6

“We’re running out of time before everyone drowns! Let’s talk for five minutes until we come up with a plan! And be sure to linger over all the bad ideas different teams come up with!”

Verdict: so, yeah, not loving this; Our Chibi Heroine is off her game, the stakes are completely artificial and boring, and the big twist to the big twist is not what you’d call subtle.

(whoops, wrong girl-with-gun! or is she…)

Somebody oughta…

…scale up the old .45 Super round, call it .47 MAGA, and make long-slide 1911-pattern pistols that chamber it. They make some in 10mm, so the pressure shouldn’t be a problem.

(“Say ‘Hitler’ again. I dare you, NeverTrumper, I double-dare you, say ‘Hitler’ one more goddamn time.”)

How to be sure the election’s over

My #1 xTwitter ad today is homeopathic medicines for dogs.

(note that California estimates that over 5 million ballots are still out there somewhere (1/3 of the total mailed out); if they don’t show up by the 12th, they can’t be counted)

Dear Amazon,

With more than 20 years of purchase history, what has led you to think that I’m in the market for 8 dozen canned snails? Or a 10-pack of tinned sardines?

Oblivious Fellatrix Projects

Whenever Gruber steps outside his core expertise (fellating Apple leadership) to talk politics, it’s pretty sad, but his response to several pretty-obviously-insincere congratulations from various tech CEOs to Trump really “lacks introspection”.

The novelty of having a vote that matters

When I lived in California, it didn’t matter how I voted. It was rare for anything to be close enough that you could plausibly affect the results at a county level, much less state or national.

In Ohio, however, even though my county includes the sort of liberal cesspool downtown that reliably harvests blue votes, Harris beat Trump by only 0.2%, or 513 out of 248,105. Statewide, Trump won by 11.3%, and when someone’s able to make a precinct-level map, the size of the blue dots will be even tinier.

(the national precinct-level maps of previous elections make it very clear that most of America has no interest in Democrat policies, and I expect this one to be even starker)

…Yatta

(coincidentally, around midnight the clouds burst open and my neighborhood was inundated with liberal tears…)

Loser Food

I’ve never wanted turkey on a pizza, but it at least sounds plausible. Green beans and cranberries, however, are way over into hell-no territory. Might as well eat the bugs at that point.

Shangri-La Frontier 2, episode 4

Return To Crystal Mountain, where Our Half-Dressed Hero swears to deliver mass quantities of rare drops to Our Awesome Chocolate Bunny, only to discover his strat has been nerfed. So we get some quick grinding and the execution of a new strat.

Verdict: Biiiilaaaac!!! (enjoy it while it lasts)

🎶 “Santa baby, hurry down the chimney tonight…”

Every once in a while you come across a glamour photoshoot that screams Eighties. The hair, the posing, the lighting, the sets, the ludicrous fake bondage, and the overall aesthetic of “we’re making Art here, not just getting a pretty girl nekkid”. Sadly, you can still find photographers today who think that showing off their distinctive style is more important than showing off the model, only now they lack the training to know which lens to use.

NSFW

(via Big Boobs Japan (1 & 2) which as usual should only be viewed with shields up and Javascript down)

But sometimes they got it right…

Kanori Kadomatsu, better known to anime fans for her voice work as Ryōka Yuzuki, and still looking like she made a deal with the devil, debuted in the late Eighties, but didn’t get nekkid until she turned 18 a few years later (1, 2), so she got to miss the worst excesses of Eighties glamour photography. Sadly, her cutest video clip is no longer available on the site I linked to last time I mentioned her (in which she rubs oil onto her breasts and explains that it’s supposed to keep them from sagging when she gets older; since she turned 50 this year, I think the world deserves to know how that worked out…).

NSFW

Update: found a copy of the clip, and after dodging a bunch of very sketchy ads, I was able to extract it. Om nom nom nom.