Saturday, May 17 2003

Las Vegas trip highlights: Angela Little

So, I’ve returned from my little road trip to Las Vegas, and I bless the kind soul who let me know that Angela was the X-Mate for this month in ‘X - An Erotic Adventure’ at the Aladdin.

(Continued on Page 127)

Monday, July 14 2003

By their threats shall ye know them

Hey, what’s a web site without fraudulent threats of legal action? There’s a guy out there who has bullied and blustered his way into a business running pay web sites for Playboy models under various names, primarily “Alpha Interactive” (no links provided; after all, my goal here is to convince you to spend your money elsewhere).

This is old news, but I couldn’t resist the urge to yank his chain by reposting his threats and explaining his motive in making them.

(Continued on Page 132)

Monday, July 21 2003

Live Munitions!

The most popular content from is now back online: my large photo archive, consisting mostly of fully-clothed Playboy models. It’s in serious need of a complete overhaul, including rescanning every image to get rid of the worst mistakes that my flaky LS-2000 inflicted, but it’s back.

Of course, the whole collection was apparently posted to Usenet again last week, and I’m sure that a bunch of the pictures are being fraudulently sold on eBay this week, either as “real prints from the negative” or “copyright-free image CDs.” This, however, is their home, and having it back online makes it easier for me to file copyright infringement claims with ISPs.

Tuesday, July 22 2003

Topless, lifeless

I want to like Viewing attractive young women who are wearing little or no clothing is a hobby of mine, one I’m unlikely to give up any time soon. And, indeed, some of the pictures work just fine for me: pretty girl, nice smile, healthy body, real breasts, no piercings, few or no visible tattoos.

Most of the time, though, I find myself wondering if I’m looking at a woman or a RealDoll. The blank stare! The static pose! The aftermarket accessories! It’s like those giant inflatable liquor bottles: great advertising but no substance.

(Continued on Page 1458)

Thursday, September 11 2003

Nothing about 9/11

Although you have to admit, as reasons to hate the West go, half-naked pop-tarts are a more plausible explanation than most. Beats blaming it all on Bush.

Sunday, October 19 2003

Featured model: Liz Stewart

After the famine, a feast. I’ve finally updated my picture site, posting the last scans I made before I abandoned my flaky Nikon LS-2000 for good. These are from a quick outdoor session with Playboy Playmate Liz Stewart, seventeen years after her centerfold.

I’ve met 200 or so Playmates, and Liz made my top-ten list about fifteen seconds after saying “hello.”

Liz Stewart

Saturday, November 8 2003

Wear a bikini, go to jail

If you’re lucky. It seems that Vida Samadzai, also known as Internet pin-up girl Miss Afghanistan, is in serious trouble back home.

Fortunately for her, she fled to the US at age fifteen, where she’s not only allowed to wear bikinis in public, but also study at a California state university. For her next act of cultural independence, I suggest training at Gunsite; she may need it soon.

Tuesday, May 18 2004

Page 3: less real than RealDoll

Some people just don’t get it. Beverley Goodway got it. Alan Strutt? Doesn’t get it. (link NSFW in countries where women cover their breasts…)

I’m sure this woman is quite attractive. I’m sure that another photographer could show her in a flattering light. But I don’t think even Gen Nishino on his worst day could make her look any more like a department-store mannequin! That pose! That shiny skin! That cast-in-plastic expression! All that’s missing is a price tag on her thong.

Will the editors of The Sun please take away this man’s camera before someone gets hurt?

[local copy of NSFW image follows…]

(Continued on Page 1954)

Thursday, August 5 2004

Bikini Exterminators

The Sun is apparently trying to become the premiere tabloid for SF fans. How? By putting a Dalek on Page 3.

Local copy of not-safe-for-work picture follows:

(Continued on Page 2060)

Monday, August 30 2004

“Hey, where did the pictures go?”

I took the web site down for the night. We’re trying to diagnose an odd TCP error that keeps some people from seeing any of my sites, and the current suspect is the packet filter.

Of course, no packet filter means no bandwidth throttling, and no bandwidth throttling means that all those pictures of happy smiling Playboy models get downloaded a lot more. This gets expensive rather quickly…

Update: back now. Definitely something in either PF or my ruleset that’s interacting badly with Fedora’s latest update to TCP window scaling. The only thing I can think of is the scrub rule, so I’ve commented it out for now.

Sunday, September 24 2006

Uplifting International News

September is ending, school is starting, my job is alternately tedious and annoying, and the world is filled with people desperate to pretend that everything will turn out all right if we just stop offending the delicate sensibilities of murderous savages.

And so, I spend my afternoon ogling pretty girls from Japan, modeling new bikinis and hawking gaming gear.

And if that doesn’t work, there’s always Ayaka teaching English to Morning Musume.

Tuesday, March 20 2007

Tuesday, April 3 2007

“Faith Lightspeed”

It’s very easy to find free pictures of naked women on the Internet. Some of them are pretty. Some have nice bodies. Some are comfortable in front of the camera. Some contain only OEM parts with no aftermarket accessories. Some are decently made up, lit, posed, focused, photographed, and edited.

A casual google for the name “Faith Lightspeed” will turn up a few hundred nude pictures of an adorable, cheerful redhead whose only significant flaw is being excessively shaved. A pay site is available. Also DVDs.

Saturday, April 14 2007

Buttons are jealous, kittens are terrified…

…dogs are howling in pain from the sound of her voice.

Kusumi Koharu

Kusumi Koharu can’t sing. Here’s proof. There’s plenty more where that came from, but it should be watched with the sound off, because while she’s a really, really cute teenage girl who can bounce around cheerfully with the other girls in Morning Musume, she’s painful to listen to.

It’s not that all of the other girls in the Hello!Project empire were chosen for their vocal talent; the majority will never “graduate” to a solo career, and you’ll only hear them solo individual lines in a group performance (sorry, Tsuji, but with Kago’s permanent departure from the organization, your career is screwed). It’s just that Koharu stands out for pushing the cute/voiceless trend to a new extreme.

Although from the audition video, at least one of the two Chinese girls who were just added to the group might actually be a worse singer…

[oh, and the ED from her anime is sung by another H!P group, °C-ute, some of whose members will eventually become teenagers…]

Wednesday, May 30 2007

Technology put to use…

While browsing the newly-updated iTunes store, I stumbled across the following podcast: 女の子の写真スライドショー/Japanese Cute Girl Slide Show. It’s exactly what it sounds like.

Of course, you could download the same photos at higher resolution from someplace like Zorpia, and you wouldn’t be limited to this person’s taste in music and girls. But then it wouldn’t auto-download a new one to your iPod every week, which I guess counts as a feature.

Sunday, June 22 2008

Dear Maki Goto,

You’ve left Hello!Project behind. You’ve got a new manager, a contract with a real record label, and tens of thousands of fans had idolgasms just seeing cellphone camera pictures of your recent training trip to LA. You’re positioned to take over the world.

Could you at least pick up a decent dress on the way to the show?

(Continued on Page 3016)

Thursday, January 29 2009

Dear Page 3,

You. Do. Not. Understand.


(Continued on Page 3239)

Friday, April 10 2009

Page 3 gets it right (NSFW!)

I give the folks at Page 3 abuse when they deliver horrible pin-ups, so it’s only fair that I praise them when they get it right. Warm skin tones? Check. Flattering pose? Check. Model alive and aware? Check. Proper lighting? Check. Lingerie that works with her curves rather than against them? Check.

Pretty girl wearing very little? Check. Not safe for work? Check.

(Continued on Page 3309)

Friday, May 22 2009

Saturday, June 13 2009

How to sell comic books…

…in Japan. Not precisely safe for work…

(Continued on Page 3361)

Sunday, June 21 2009

How to make an old cellphone sexy…

Hand it to Han Ga Eun (한가은)…

(Continued on Page 3368)

Saturday, September 19 2009

…to reign in Hell

In a surprise announcement that has left fans reeling, Satan (aka Koharu Kusumi) is leaving Morning Musume and Hello!Project, at the tender age of 17. Like fellow “graduate” Erika Umeda, she’s announced plans to become a model; unlike the 18-year-old Umeda, however, she has a stack of popular photobooks and DVDs attesting to her solo popularity, so she’s guaranteed some initial success.

This is on top of the mass exodus of the grownups earlier this year, and the curiously-handled retirement of Kanna Arihara, so it’s been a rough year for H!P fans, and with star-pimp Tsunku bringing ever-younger girls (6? WTF?) into his stables, I suspect it’s a bit nerve-wracking for the surviving members as well.

[Update: pimp-blogging reveals that she didn’t jump, she was pushed. That should make both fans and fellow members even more nervous about the organization’s future.]

Wednesday, October 7 2009

Dear Page 3,

It’s been a while since you delivered an honest-to-gosh pinup, and this is the first time you’ve ever delivered a truly first-rate picture of Rosie. I’d link to it directly, but you use Flash to prevent usability, so I’ll have to just copy it.

NSFW, of course, given that she’s wearing about three grams worth of bikini bottoms.

[Update: two days in a row? Did you just hire a new senior editor?]

(Continued on Page 3428)

Tuesday, October 27 2009

Dear Page 3,

Is Chloe the only model you’ve never managed to publish a bad picture of? Could you please apply this same high, perky standard to all the other girls?


(Continued on Page 3437)

Monday, December 7 2009

Faces, collected

So after all that work identifying H!P women in pictures, what does it look like in iPhoto?

(large JPEG below the fold)

(Continued on Page 3453)

Thursday, May 6 2010

Mai Pudding

[Update: turns out she was in the Negima! live-action drama, as the ghost student Sayo. I knew his students would grow up cute.]

Amazon Japan recommended this DVD to me a while back:

Mai Pudding DVD

Her name is Mai Nishida, and she seems like a nice girl. The Mai/My pun is an old one in Japan, and as for pudding, well, Biyuuden made that one clear in the video for their song Ice Cream & My Pudding (warning: bunny girls!). That one has another pun, writing “ice” as 愛す = “to love”; putting it before a noun makes it an adjective modifying cream…

Back to Mai. The circled text on the front reads 可愛くて柔らかい = “cute and soft”. Not visible is the back-cover blurb, which reads, in part, 大胆ビキニから溢れちゃうぷるぷる揺れるGカップ! = “completely overflowing from daring bikini, jiggling, swaying G-cups!”.

As I said, she seems like a nice girl. Oh, and she was 19 when this was filmed. Five-foot-two. 35-23-32. Type O. Aries. From Kyoto. Details matter.

Thursday, June 24 2010

Unfortunate romanization

Yukie Kawamura is a successful model in Japan. She has a nickname, ゆっきー, derived from her first name, ゆきえ.

If you can read hiragana, you can see where this is going. For the rest of you, her name should be pronounced as if it were three syllables yoo-kee-ay. Her nickname was formed by replacing the “ay” with an extension of the “ee”, and adding a glottal stop before the “k”, for “yook-(pause)-eeee”, which sounds precisely like something a devoted fan would shout upon sighting her.

What does it look like romanized on a mildly-NSFW DVD cover?

(Continued on Page 3584)

Saturday, January 8 2011

Guiltless Pleasures

For those of us who feel really, really old when we find our eyes drawn to an eighteen-year-old in a bikini, here’s the latest photo of the former den mother of Morning Musume, first-generation member Yuko Nakazawa, age 37.

(Continued on Page 3687)

Tuesday, January 11 2011

Well, that explains a few things…

Now I see why Girls Generation is unstoppable: they’re cyborgs.

(Continued on Page 3689)

Monday, July 25 2011

Dear TakeShobo, Inc.,

The mimetic word “puruun”, used to describe the sound of bouncing breasts, should never be written as the English word “prune”. Changes the tone of this DVD title completely.

(and for those who are wary of youthful-looking Japanese models, the back cover claims she was 20 when this was shot two years ago. It also claims a 40-inch, J-cup bustline and height just under 5 feet, so her future plans include back surgery)

Tuesday, November 1 2011

Ai Shinozaki’s film debut…

It, um, exploits her talents.

And it’s called “Pantsu no Ana”.

Thursday, November 10 2011

Rest In Peace, Cynthia Myers

I’m not a big one for sharing feelings on my blog, but Cynthia was a warm, wonderful human being, and I will miss her.

…and I can’t resist sharing the first picture I ever saw of her…

(Continued on Page 3922)

Friday, July 6 2012

Another kanji-tattoo victim

Hopefully this nonsense was just painted on for the photo, and she doesn’t really have this tattoo. It’s classic Hanzismatter material. I can’t see them all clearly, but the fifth and sixth look like the top and bottom of “老”.

I’d like to credit the original artist, since the content of the “tattoo” is only a minor part of the composition, but of course it arrived through Tumblr, a system that goes out of its way to hide sources. My search dead-ended at the ironically-named Cool Tattoos tumblr.

[Update: the model’s name is Salleh Sparrow, and sadly, it is indeed a tattoo. She’s also a photographer, so it may be a self-portrait; I eventually traced it back to a defunct DeviantArt page under her name. The slightly larger version of the image that I found didn’t make the characters any clearer, and her Facebook portfolio doesn’t have anything that shows them off, either.]

Let's scribble on a naked chick! It's art!

Speaking of Hanzismatter, I think this is my new favorite bad tattoo. At least the tattoo artist used a real character, and the result is only a bit absurd, not obscene or gibberish.

Thursday, July 19 2012

My non-existent Tumblr blog #3

“If I were to create a Tumblr blog…”, he says, refusing once again to enter the swirling vortex of multi-panel animated gifs, endless-scrolling memory hogs, and myspace-like design aesthetics, “I think I’d have to call it Baffled Cheesecake, in honor of a sexyfail expression that’s almost as common as Bored Porn Star, Angry Stripper, Constipated Chick, and Wannabe Realdoll.”

Two samples below, one nude.

(Continued on Page 4049)

Tuesday, July 24 2012

Dear Ami Tokito,

W. T. F.

Personally, I want something more like your old Twister video

Friday, July 27 2012

I’ll just leave this here…

…in case anyone needs it. Yuu Hasebe.

Wednesday, August 29 2012

Grilled cheesecake

Not safe for bikini-unfriendly workplaces…

(Continued on Page 4074)

Tuesday, April 23 2013

Do the models know?

At the creepy end of the Japanese photobook/DVD market, you can be pretty sure that the very young models don’t really know that being photographed in perfectly ordinary school outfits is fetish bait for middle-aged men, and that the photographers, editors, and stylists feel no urge to enlighten them. Ditto when they set up a scene in the kitchen and carefully adjust her string bikini to emulate the “naked apron” fetish.

But what about the ones who are all grown up?

(Continued on Page 4220)

Sunday, July 14 2013

Real-life Escher Girl

I stumbled on this picture recently, and was struck by how effortlessly she pulled off the classic Escher Girls boobs-and-butt pose.

Misa Kusumoto, Escher Girl

After a bit of digging, I discovered that she’s Misa Kusumoto, a 21-year-old actress/model who’s just released her first DVD, which includes this photo on the back cover. A few more pictures from photographer Shin Yamagishi are available, as well as a very short bio.

Friday, November 15 2013

Danger Level: Freckles

Kanae Kanzaki

Kanae Kanzaki, collected here, here, here, and of course a google image search for 神崎かなえ will find plenty more. It looks like she did some part-time amateur modeling in college, then moved on. Her blog is abandoned, “her” twitter account exists only to promote some digital photobooks by one of the photographers who shot her, and I haven’t found anything to suggest that she’s still getting in front of cameras. Pity.

Sunday, November 17 2013

Queen’s Blade, The Live

Queen’s Blade, the ecchi anime, was based on a set of game books featuring art by popular character designers, with rules from the old Lost Worlds game books.

To attract a new audience, the latest set features photos of popular cheesecake models such as Ayaka Sayama, who takes the role of Captain Liliana.

Queen's Blade The Live, Captain Liliana
Ayaka Sayama, out of her pirate gear

No Bodacious Space Pirates were harmed in the production of these books.

Tuesday, December 3 2013

Did someone order cheesecake?

Well, technically, he ordered extra-dimensional animated naked electro-girls, but I choose to respond with… something else.

(Continued on Page 4344)

Wednesday, December 25 2013

Holiday cheesecake

So I spent part of my Christmas Day watching cheesecake, specifically this Blu-ray disc featuring Kaho Takashima (pics). I have some rather rude words for the cameraman’s ability to handle lighting and contrast (pro-tip: if your lighting makes the model’s ribs look bruised, you’re doing it wrong), and his insistence on using a wide-angle lens for closeups, but Kaho’s a very pretty girl with a great smile, and usually manages to project personality despite poor direction.

The audio in this sort of video can be hit-or-miss. They often just use the on-camera microphone, so when the model isn’t talking, they play whatever music they could afford. In this case, I was generally satisfied with the instrumental pieces they used, until I reached the segment where they put her in a school uniform and started shooting upskirt shots (because Japan), and accompanied it with a quite pleasant piano solo of Amazing Grace.

Fortunately I’m not part of the target audience for schoolgirl upskirts, so the rather jarring contrast just increased my amusement.

I’ll end with a seasonal picture from Kaho’s blog, from a recording session for Japan TV’s Idol League:

Santa Kaho

Monday, January 27 2014

Dear Erika Yazawa,

Never change.

Erika Yazawa, Shodo Master

(from her 2014 calendar)

Friday, February 14 2014

Valentine’s Day Candy

Eye Candy, that is.

(Continued on Page 4373)

Wednesday, February 26 2014

Cheesecake: Miwako Kakei

A rising star in the magazine-cover business is almost-20-year-old Miwako Kakei (筧美和子). An image search will turn up many pleasantly distracting images, of which this is one.

Miwako Kakei

In full makeup, she tends to look about as Japanese as I do, but that has more to do with stylists than genetics. She looks thoroughly Japanese in most of the photos on her blog.

Friday, April 25 2014

Dear Hello!Project Costume Designers,

CanCam dresses your girls better. Or, in this case, undresses them better, as Satan shows off a little bit of denim and a whole lot of Satan. Bonus: she’s not singing.

(Continued on Page 4409)

Friday, July 4 2014


Natsuki Kojima, All-American Girl

Natsuki Kojima, helping you celebrate Independence Day. The little speech bubble reads “smiles and swimsuits are free”, and she uses these freedoms well.

Friday, January 23 2015

Not Cosplay: Eri Ishida

Eri Ishida

More from the Ultraman 80 era here (including some nudes). Still active as an actress.

Friday, July 17 2015

Fanboys are a superstitious cowardly lot…

Ai Catwoman

Well, her disguise is evil, but dressing Ai Shinozaki up as Catwoman in her little-known race-queen phase doesn’t exactly strike terror into my heart.

Friday, July 31 2015

Today’s Mystery

Shizuka holmes

Q: Why is Shizuka Nakamura dressed like this?

A: Who cares? Especially since the movie also features Nonoka Ono in a sexy-cop outfit?

The plot, such as it is, of Sensitive Detective Jasmine, is that rookie detective Jasmine (Shizuka) has one of those convenient psychic powers that lets her pick up clues by touching objects, and along with rookie NYPD detective Youko (Nonoka), tracks down a murderer. Bathing and sexy cosplay are apparently their primary weapons. And the machine translation of the plot summary at Rakuten is hilarious.

Wednesday, August 26 2015

Bright Summer Daze

With events ranging from the disheartening to the awful this week, and the promise of more to come, I felt the need to cleanse my palate with something bright and uplifting.

…and NSFW if you don’t work in a bikini factory.

(Continued on Page 4676)

Saturday, August 29 2015

Shizuka Nakamura Caption Contest


(Continued on Page 4680)

Wednesday, September 2 2015

The Bear Necessities

Every copy I found of the song from The Jungle Book had embedding disabled, so please imagine this playing in the background as you appreciate the bearly-clad Hikari Agarie below the fold. Not Safe For Mowgli.

(Continued on Page 4686)

Wednesday, September 9 2015

“That’s your scary costume?”

Not the usual bowtie bunny-girl, but sufficiently NSFW to go after the jump.

(Continued on Page 4691)

Monday, September 14 2015

Warrior of Love, Live

Not cosplay, this is Mikie Hara (NSFW) in the 2007 TV series Cutie Honey The LIVE. There are a few episodes on Youtube, and if you were expecting anything other than campy cheesecake with no-budget SFX, well, really, why? Amusing note: in a DVD-only episode, they cast Go Nagai as her father.

Warrior of Love

It’s still available as nine overpriced DVDs, but they decided to make a nice (overpriced) box set a few years back with a rather eye-catching cover (NSFW; did you have to ask?):

(Continued on Page 4694)

Monday, September 28 2015

Whatever they’re selling…


(Continued on Page 4707)

Monday, October 5 2015

A rare sighting…

Bird-watchers and train-watchers live for that moment when something truly unique crosses their path. I think this shot of a fully-dressed Ai Shinozaki qualifies, especially with her famous curves concealed by a tasty dish.

Ai Shinozaki recharging

Thursday, November 12 2015

Dear Hello!Project Costume Designers,

You fired the person who did this, didn’t you? It’s missing almost every element of your house style.

(Continued on Page 4741)

Friday, November 13 2015


Whatever they say about black cats crossing your path on Friday the 13th, I can assure you that black catgirls are good luck. Well, catgirls of any shade, really. NSFW after the jump.

Kuroneko cosplay

(more here)

Note: Google keeps autocorrecting “catgirl” to “cat girl”, which shows a disturbing lack of awareness of what people really want to search for.

(Continued on Page 4742)

Tuesday, November 24 2015

Mio Takaba, UPRS

As pleasant to look at as Mio Takaba (link NSFW) is, there always seems to be a challenge in her eyes that promises a need for UPRS should you disappoint her.

Mio Takaba

That’s Urgent Penis Reattachment Surgery. Seriously, even when she’s smiling there’s usually a predatory gleam, and her sultry look makes you want to lock up the kitchen knives. I’ve actually left out the most obvious examples, so I don’t scare you (and because several prominent cheesecake tumblr blogs have vanished recently, so the archives are a bit thin…).

NSFW after the jump, with a special present for Steven…

(Continued on Page 4750)

Thursday, December 31 2015

Simple solutions to complex problems

NSFW after the jump.

(Continued on Page 4766)

Saturday, January 9 2016

Glamour Photography Tip

If your model ends up looking like a RealDoll or the setup for Chobits, you’re doing it wrong.

Gravure or Chobits?

Also, go easy on smoothing out her skin with filters and photoshop until she looks like plastic. The Uncanny Valley is a two-way street.


(Continued on Page 4777)

Monday, January 11 2016

On second thought…

First response: this picture of Maria Makino makes me want to find more pictures of her.

Second response: her Wikipedia entry makes me want to wait a few years before I do that image search. Idols really need warning labels.

Tuesday, January 12 2016

But what I want to know is…

…what’s so different about charm?

Mixing scripts in Bomb

Bomb magazine has been around for quite a while, as this cover from 1984 shows. The thing I find most striking about it is that all of the photoshoots have English titles, but only one is written in Katakana: “charm color”.

Thursday, January 14 2016

Rena Matsui’s Pet Rock

Rena Matsui pets rock

For some reason, people rarely take pictures of this Maneki Ishi from an angle that shows off its resemblance to a cat in the classic pose.


Of course, I’m less interested in the rock than in petting 24-year-old Rena, now “graduated” from her idol career…

(Continued on Page 4782)

Saturday, January 16 2016

Cultural Appropriation

Last seen showing off practical applications of Ribbon Theory, here’s Doctor Nekomu Otogi, NSFW, demonstrating the proper technique for respectful cultural appropriation.

Tuesday, January 19 2016

House styles

Nanase Otoha

The most interesting thing about this picture of Nanase Otoha (乙葉ななせ) is that I instantly knew that she was a porn actress. There were no clues on the Tumblr I found the picture on, and I’d never seen her before. There’s just something about the lighting and styling that I can’t quite put my finger on that gives it away. Not the first time; about once a week, I find a photo of a fully-dressed, attractive young Japanese woman and know that it’s from a promo shoot for a porn flick.

Saturday, January 23 2016

Warning labels

In addition to the kanji 「歳」 preceded by a number, there are some other clues that a pretty young model is actually a dangerously-young model. In a video store, for instance, the “U-15” section will be chock full of 15-and-under girls, and as the shelves fill up, you may even find a separate (squick!) U-12 section (or their equivalents “JC” and “JS”). U-17 seems quite innocuous by comparison, especially when attached to the formidable figure of Natsuki Sawada.

Natsuki Sawada at 17


And in a rare case of a number making it easier to ogle, there’s Nana Hiratsuka’s 30+α Bluray release.

Monday, January 25 2016

Red half-rims…

One for Steven: a live-action spotting of a cute Japanese girl wearing red half-rim glasses. Only the glasses, so NSFW after the jump.

(Continued on Page 4793)

Thursday, January 28 2016

Food fight!

Or more precisely, “utensil fight”. This is a much more entertaining use of Misa Etō and Yūri Saitō than the typical Nogizaka46 video…

Food fight: Yuri Saito and Misa Eto


Saturday, January 30 2016


If I were packing for a glamour photo shoot, I might bring along a pair of cat or bunny ears, but as this shot of Ayaka Sayama demonstrates, Japanese photographers cover all bases.

Ayaka Sayama

(via the giant sorted collection of girlie pics at 大盛りあがりグラビア館)

Friday, February 5 2016


There’s nothing more confusing than a loanword that looks too much like another loanword. A “T-shatsu” is a t-shirt, so what is a “Y-shatsu”? A white (wai) shirt. I loved the head-scratching on the Hello!Project forums back when Reina Tanaka covered “Heya to Y-shatsu to Watashi”, trying to figure out what a Y-shaped shirt could be.

But Reina covering a Y-shatsu isn’t nearly as interesting as a Y-shatsu covering Ai Shinozaki…

Ai shinozaki white shirt

(more revealing photos here; video and pictures from her lengthy new Maxim Korea shoot: video, part 1, 2, 3, 4, posters)

Saturday, February 27 2016

NSFW Valentine

Beats the hell out of a Hallmark card or a box of chocolates.

(Continued on Page 4813)

Monday, March 14 2016

I want Candy

The Taiwan Girl Tumblr might not be officially approved by the national tourism bureau, but it should be. Perhaps they’re upset that all the pictures are grabbed from another blog, which doesn’t identify the models or photographers. Google Image Search, on the other hand, had no trouble tracking this picture back to its source on Flickr in an album by Taiwanese photographer Robin Huang.

Candy, photographed by Robin Huang

(he has thousands more just like it; a good way to waste an afternoon)

Monday, March 28 2016

Finding Nemo

I’m not particularly interested in the music of the new idol group Niji No Conquistador, but I’ll include a representative sample that features some hilariously bad weapons play:

The only reason I know about them at all is because I recently felt the need to track down the source of Yet Another cute Japanese girl wearing an American flag bikini:

(Continued on Page 4822)

Thursday, April 21 2016

Moemi Katayama

To my surprise, I haven’t posted a picture of 25-year-old Moemi Katayama (片山萌美) here. Perhaps it’s because it took so long to find one where she was wearing more than a bare minimum of fabric…

Moemi Katayama

If you want to see her in less fabric and damp fabric, one good source is here.

Her just-released-today Bluray is currently the top-selling female-idol DVD on Amazon Japan (61st in all Bluray discs), and the DVD version is #3.

Wednesday, May 4 2016

Yuzu Matsumoto

This photo shoot of 20-year-old Yuzu Matsumoto stands out because it doesn’t rely on any of the common glamour-photography tropes, or any of the common fetishes. She’s just a fully-dressed, extremely pretty young woman, in a little “daily life” sketch.

Yuzu Matsumoto

(most of the other shoots in this series from Weekly Georgia fall into the “ideal girlfriend” category, of course)

Saturday, June 18 2016

Dear Hello!Project Costume Designers,

Am I correct in assuming that someone was fired for not stapling a rhinestone-studded feather headdress to 15-year-old Rikako Sasaki’s head? The outfit just looks incomplete without one.

Rikako Sasaki fashion tips

(via Takitumblr, which includes shots of what was considered matching footwear…)

Monday, June 27 2016

Girls who are waiting for God

So, I stumbled across a Japanese phrase I hadn’t seen before, which wasn’t in any of my dictionaries. From the NSFW context (picture after the jump…), it was modern slang associated with the sex trade, but what did “kami-machi” really mean?

A quick google found a story on a “naughty Japan” site (so, NSFW link, y’know) that cleared it up: runaway and homeless young women who are willing to put out in exchange for dinner and a night in a warm bed.

This is one of those things where you can’t really be sure how much of it is true, how much was invented for dirty books and movies, and how much is “hey, check out our Wacky Japan Site”. But it rang a faint bell, and sure enough, I blogged about this sort of arrangement four years ago, back when I still got tons of spam in Japanese. It didn’t use “kami-machi”, but the subject line was “please become kami-sama to needy girls”.

Anyway, the porn industry certainly pretends it’s a real thing, and promises some first-rate talent (NSFW):

(Continued on Page 4866)

Tuesday, July 5 2016

Hikaru Nishida

Hikaru Nishida

43-year-old pop singer Hikaru Nishida got her start as a fresh-faced 15-year-old, and I’d like to thank the glamour photographers who documented her career so thoroughly. Seriously, do a google image search for “西田ひかる” and enjoy the timeless cheesecake (like the undated sample above). Still quite an attractive women today, and still active in the business.

How’s her music? A quick sampling of Youtube didn’t do much for me, and I was initially struck by how odd the random English sounded in her songs. Turns out she was raised in the US, and I’ve gotten used to the phonetic approximations used by most Japanese singers.

Sunday, July 10 2016

You’ve come a long way, Chippy

Chisa Maruyama is a 26-year-old model and race queen, who likes manga, anime, and playing with her cats (nickname taken from her twitter account).

Chisa Maruyama at 26

She looks healthy, happy, and well-adjusted, which is a lot better than the first picture I saw of her…

(Continued on Page 4881)

Saturday, July 23 2016

Better than idols…

Glamour photographers often get caught up in all the makeup, styling, wardrobe, set decoration, posing, and editing, and forget that all you really need is a pretty girl and a smile. Or four.

Hachinohe North High's Finest


Sunday, July 31 2016

OMG Watermelons…

Korean pop group Oh My Girl might not have watermelons, but at least they have watermelon.

Oh My Girl w/ watermelon


Also, instead of cat ears

(Continued on Page 4897)

Monday, August 15 2016

Tempting the fates…

Everyone knows you should know better than to pick up a duck in a dungeon.

Well, maybe not everyone.

Ducks on cat
Ducks on Mami Kamura
Ducks on Ikumi Hisamatsu? Where?

(via 1, 2, 3)

Monday, August 29 2016

You say tomato…

Voice actress and singer Haruka Tomatsu is at her best when she’s being adorkable. Most of her photoshoots recognize this and stick with showing off a pretty girl and a smile, not trying too hard to sex her up.

Haruka Tomatsu, adorkable

Sometimes, though, they insisted on trying for steam, and the best of the bunch end up as “hot shot of someone who looks nothing like her”. The rest include some of the most awkward cheesecake I’ve ever seen. She really looks like she wants to be somewhere else, and the outfits do not flatter her gangly frame.

This one is nice, but she’s almost unrecognizable.

(Continued on Page 4926)

Wednesday, August 31 2016

Follow the white rabbit…

Now this is an AKB48 outfit I can get behind!

Mio Tomonaga, bunnygirl


Sunday, September 4 2016

“There can be only two!”

Ai Shinozaki, Highlander


Tuesday, September 6 2016

Usa! Usa! Usa!

Once upon a time, there was a third-string idol group called Gal♥Doll. As you might expect from the name, it was a trio of pretty girls uglied up in Gal makeup and fashion. I found a few videos, which I won’t link because they’re terrible, but the only reason I know they exist in the first place is that AV actress Miharu Usa is promoted as a “former idol”. Very little digging (as in “reading to the bottom of the article”) was necessary to discover that Miharu was the “ace” of Gal♥Doll, Ryouka Nishinaga (center).


Honestly, if I’d seen this picture first, I wouldn’t have been interested enough to follow up on her, and the stills from her AV work are typically unappealing. Instead, what caught my eye was this (NSFW):

(Continued on Page 4932)

Wednesday, September 7 2016

I don’t know anything about ‘Connie Maheswaran’…

…but goodness, what a pretty cosplayer.

Danielle cosplaying Connie Maheswaran

Saturday, September 24 2016

Adolescent Spring

Stumbled on a Tumblr, 青臭い春, full of Japanese cheesecake from an earlier era. Easy on the eyes, and some pleasantly natural toplessness as well, to warn those for whom bikinis are worksafe but nipples are not.

This is Yumi Asō, an actress born in 1963 and still working a lot:

Yumi Asō

Aging nicely, too:

Yumi Asō, 2015

(via, promoting a drama that has some other pretty women, and four adorable pre-teens. [Side note: I was curious about the young Ema Baanzu, and wasn’t surprised to discover that Japanese Wikipedia included the details of her 25-21-26 figure; sigh])

Following the trail of Yumi’s bikini work led here, a fairly random assortment of bikini-clad cuties, and this one caught my eye:

Midori kinouchi bikini

But the caption gave her name as “木之内绿”, and the only things that came up in Google were a handful of Chinese blogs and some really obscure video sites that wanted to play three-minute ads. They clearly identified her as a Japanese singer, but even forcing Google to return only Japanese results turned up nothing. Turns out the Chinese fan sites were writing her first name in hanzi instead of hiragana, and fixing that returned a wealth of information about idol singer Midori Kinouchi. These days she’s apparently an anti-nuke activist.

Tuesday, September 27 2016

not just a pretty voice…

Voice actress Ryoka Yuzuki (柚木涼香) keeps fairly busy, between video games, movie dubs, and obscure anime like Naruto, Nanoha, To Love-Ru, Queen’s Blade, and Kill la Kill. Publicity pictures show her to be an attractive woman, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Kanori Kadomatsu

Starting at 15, under the name Ayumi Nagashii (永椎あゆみ), she did some acting, then as Kanori Kadomatsu (角松かのり), she did a lot of cheesecake and nude modeling (NSFW: 1, 2, 3), as well as B movies and this cute little NSFW clip (removed from this video). She briefly used the Nagashii name again for some hentai anime, before settling on Ryoka Yuzuki for her quite successful seiyuu career.

To end on an amusing note, the #2 link above claims that the term coined in the Nineties for idols who did nudes but not porn was ヌードル, which Google associates exclusively with Cup Noodle. Wikipedia redirects it to Adult Model, which isn’t nearly as fun.

Friday, October 7 2016

Giffy Girl

No, not Jenny. I was just playing around with Gifify, and after fixing the broken framerate logic and adding options to clip the video to from/to timestamps (I suppose I should send a pull request), I made some short animated GIFs of “Ayumi Nagashii” and “Kanori Kadomatsu”, from my recent post on her.

First, a quick Wonder Woman twirl at 15:

(moved after the jump to improve page-load time)

(Continued on Page 4957)

Monday, October 17 2016

Yamato Nadesico

The quiet dignity of traditional Japanese fashion.

Yui Oguri


Thursday, October 27 2016

Mikako Tabe

The first time I saw award-winning actress Mikako Tabe (多部未華子) was in the live-action adaptation of the manga Deka Wanko, whose subtitled episodes are still available on Youtube. She’s quirky and engaging in the role, with a very expressive face that’s a good match for the goofy role (a gothloli junior detective who can literally sniff out crime).

Mikako Tabe is Deka Wanko

Hybrid vigor apparently accounts for her unusual good looks.

Mikako Tabe

I hadn’t known about her more recent detective series, Do S Deka aka “Ms Sadistic Detective”; I’ll have to look it up.

Friday, November 4 2016

Sayuri Hori

Sayuri Hori

The link (pictures SFW, site Not) said, 「九州に尻が凄いアナがいる」, which even someone using an online translator can understand as “There’s an announcer in Kyushu with an amazing ass” (some interpretation required; Bing and Google return, respectively, “Kyushu has amazing ass Ana” and “There are ass is amazing Ana in Kyushu”). This SFW site has links to various places that have noticed her non-ass assets; she’s a cutie.

Sayuri Hori

The real fun comes when you turn the translators loose on her Wikipedia page, where Google changes her last name to Pauli at the top of the page, and Bing not only changes her last name to Takeuchi everywhere, but converts the hiragana reading to “Maria holic Sayuri”. Still a few bugs in the system…

Tuesday, December 6 2016

Dear Hello!Project Choreographers,

Nice to see you’re teaching the girls skills that will come in handy when their idol careers end.

Ayumi Ishida, pole-dancer

Saturday, January 7 2017

Dear Hello!Project Costume Designers,

Actually, instead of discussing the feathers, can I ask what she’s doing with that microphone?

Kaede Kaga tickles the mic

Okay, now we can talk feathers. Clearly these outfits are left over from your canceled musical, “The Dirty Pair Blows Up Vegas”.

Dirty Pair with feathers

Monday, February 6 2017

When the bikini comes off…

I felt a bit sorry for Nanami Matsumoto (松本菜奈実) when I first saw her pictures, because while she’s cute with the right styling, it was very clear that the only reason she had a modeling career was her absurdly large breasts (plausibly claimed to measure a 100cm I-cup), and it wasn’t going to last long. Also, back pain. Three DVDs later, and sure enough, the party is over and a different party has started: her next release is porn , subtitled Ultra-Megaton-Level Loli Big Boobs.

(link NSFW, but with clothed selfies where she’s prettier than in most of her bikini photo shoots; clearly the photographers and editors rarely cared how her face looked)

Note that this is not hypocritical moral condemnation on my part, or an assumption that she’s being victimized by the patriarchy and has no agency in her career choices. I just dislike Japanese porn, and the fact that there no longer seems to be any middle ground between “covers naughty bits” and “roughly gang banged on camera”. As an enthusiastic consumer of products featuring attractive Japanese women, I’d like to see naughty bits and smiles, not domination and tears.