Thursday, May 19 2005

The unifying theme of the Star Wars prequels

Like many geeks, our entire office went out to see episode 3 today on the company dime. Reflecting on the experience during the drive home tonight, I realized that I finally understood Lucas’ vision.

Midichlorians eat brain cells and crap testosterone.

It’s the only explanation for how stupid all of the Jedi and Sith are. Anakin, with midichlorians off the scale, is by far the dimmest of the lot, but the emperor isn’t exactly blessed with smarts either, and the entire Jedi Council would have a tough time beating a five-year-old at tic-tac-toe. The less said about Darth Ept, the better.

Really, I think the only reason Palpatine was able to outwit the Jedi for so long was that he was forced to conceal his powers and ration their use, while the Jedi worked their mojo constantly, accelerating the decay.